Heavy rain poured this afternoon and it never stopped hanggang ngayon. Kahit nasa loob ako, I can't shake off these feelings inside me. 

Fear...

Anxiety...

I hate rainy days. 

Kanina pa ako hindi mapakali magmula nang marinig ko sa balita na may sunog sa isang malaking compound sa Q.C. 

Kanina pa ako nag-aalala dahil alam kong nanduon ka. Doing your duty. 

At nandito ako, sa entrance ng emergency... Nakatayo. 

Waiting for ambulance and patients inside of it. Ready to do my duty. 

I inhale sharply as if calming myself. 

Sana wala ka sa mga parating na ambulansya...

Sana ligtas ka.

I silently prayed. 

God. I don't know what to do if I see your lifeless body. I swear... I'll hunt you sa second life. 

"Doc... Tatlo sugatan! Dalawa kritikal!" sigaw ng nurse habang palapit ako.

With shaking knees, I ran over. 

"5 years old, 2nd degree burn upper limbs" 

Nakita ko kung paano dumaing sa sakit ang batang babae, clutching tight to her dirty teddy bear. She's crying, begging for the pain to stop. 

"27 years old critical status... Firefighter-" natigilan ako. 

Thunderstruck.

"-unconscious... CO poisoning" 

Jusko! 

Hindi ako makagalaw. Nanginginig ako while I stood there in complete shock and horror. Nilagpasan ako ng mga rescuer with the 5 years old girl. 

At para akong nalagutan ng hininga nang lagpasan din ako ng isa pang stretcher kung saan nakahiga ang isang bumbero. 

Thin body...

Messy hair. Face full of grease.

"Doc Irene? Doc!" 

"62 years old... 1st degree burn posterior. Scapular fracture." 

"y-yung ventilation?" 

"clear doc." 

"tumawag ka sa ortho tapos, pa X-ray for further assessment." 

I left her and other rescuers saka tumakbo palapit sa dalawang nauna. 

Please... Please...

They are giving her sufficient amount of oxygen through oxygen chamber.

At nang lumapit ako... 

"Byul?" 

I have a lot of questions... Pero dahil unconscious siya... My questions are left unanswered. 

Kahit na gustuhin kong tumakbo just to make sure you're safe... 

Gaya mo... Hindi ko rin maiwan ang trabaho ko nang ganun ganun nalang.

Bago ko asikasuhin ang kakasugod lang na patients... I looked back sa entrance ng emergency room.

I whispered as short gratitude sa ulan. 

Even though I hate it so much... 

I know... Somehow it'll help you and your team sa trabaho. 

My duty ends at 10 pm... Unfortunately, natagalan kami treating their injuries. 

And time waits for no one...

I rub neck muscles for some relief. 

1:20 am? Di pa ako kumakain.

A little stretch bago lumabas ng hospital. It's still raining cats and dogs. I'll definitely ride a bus pauwi. 

I zone out while waiting for the bus to arrive. 

It's funny how I can picture you doing your task. Yung mukha mong puro pawis... Yung amoy mo... Yung pag crease mo ng forehead.

I could only smile... That's your look nang iligtas mo ako. 

That's your first time saving me.

Sabi mo you could perfectly imagine me too doing my job. Sabi mo pa... I looked y while holding needle and threads for suture procedure. 

That's how you remember me... When you injured yourself at sumabit yung braso mo sa nakausling bakal. 

That's my first time saving you. 

We both promise never to meet each other again sa mga ganung sitwasyon. 

I smile again... This fear inside me grows as each minute passes by. I swallowed hard the lump in my throat. 

Bawat duty mo nalang... Parang nilalayasan ako ng sarili kong spirit. 

I felt this terrible sadness and I cant even cry.

Kaya everytime I kiss you bye... take care... See you later... I can't help not to look back...

Paano kung last na?

Paano kung mapahamak ka?

Kakayanin ko ba?

My own ringtone startled me. Kasabay ng ingay ng ulan.

The caller ID itself makes me smile. Calming my storms somehow. 

"nanay?" I guess napanuod niya yung news... 

Either sasabihin niyang nasa tv ang girlfriend ko or kakamustahin ako. 

"iha... Is she okay?" 

A simple question...

Yet I find it hard to suppress my sobs because I don't have answers too. 

"nay..." 

Are you safe?

I'm so exhausted.

Physically...

Emotionally...

Mentally...

At lahat na ata ng aspeto.

Sa mga gabing ganito... You always welcome me with "I'm your human charger Irene!" 

Oh... your warm hugs can soothe the pain away. 

And it just add dents to my emotional distress na pumasok sa bahay ng wala ka. 

It's always cold... 

Always have been bago ka dumating. 

I heave a sigh bago pumasok sa bahay, shutting the door behind me hoping not to hear the rain sounds anymore. 

I'll cook something... Alam kong gutom ka pag-uwi. Kahit wala akong gana... Kakain parin ako. 

Di bale... Kasabay naman kita. 

Nag-open ako ng canned corn beef. I sliced some onions at nag salang ng pan. 

I poured some oil. 

I huffed with every movements... I can't stop thinking about you. 

Lahat ng tungkol sayo. 

I can't stop myself from worrying too much. 

Ginisa ko na ang onions and immediately added the corn beef. 

The rain and sizzling sounds fill up the silence around. 

I felt arms snaking to my waist. 

I'm sure kakalagay ko lang ng beef but my nose gladly inhaled your burnt smell. 

"sarap naman niyan~" ikaw na