NAEUN POV

Who would have thought that i'd ever be in a position like this? Having Oh Hayoung pinned to the wall of the dressing room looking scared and helpless.

And just how did this happen? She just had to drag me in here for the thousand times to talk to me, to question me.

As soon as i had shut the door behind me, and locked it out of habit, she looked me in the eye and asked as casually as possible.

I didn't even gave her an answer, i just lunged at her, grabbed her wrist and pinned her to the wall.

And here we are.

"Naeunie, what are you trying to do?" Her voice is shaky like she is afraid just to ask me that.

"Answering your first question. Why, what did you think i was gonna do?" I give her my trademark smirk and she looks at me in confusion.

She turns her face away from me and asks;

"How is this answering my question?" She sounds embarassed, her voice a bit lower than usual.

Does being this physically close to me really affect her this much.?

I can't help but lean in a bit closer, bringing my lips closer to her ear.

"I don't want you to try and run away. So i've got to keep you right here." I said.

for once, i've got her right where i want her.

She brought this on herself, i may as well take advantage of the situation.

"You wanna know just why i like you? You sure you want my honest answer? I don't think you can handle it." My grip on her wrist tightens as i say this and she flinches a bit.

Am i hurting her?

good, she needs to know the kind of pain she gives me everytime i see her with someone going on a date.

I know i shouldn't be letting myself do this.

I know that if i let her push me to say this, i'll just end up hurting her in the end.

That's how it always been.

That's why i always acted as though i don't care whenever she is with my members and being happy together or go on a date but not with me.

I should be fighting this more than i am.

"Tell me Naeunie." Just those three words aren't enough, even as a command.

I stay silent but keep her pinned.

this is all too much, too fast; i should stop this while i still have a chance.

"Why should i Hayoungie? Why should i give you what you want?" I let my cold natural expression come through with that.

Trying to back track all of this, to shy her away from asking me this.

"I deserve to know unnie! That's why!" She is angry and trying to get out of my grasp.

She is jerking back and forth like she can get away. But we both know she can't.

She is not leaving unless i let her, though i can't stop the nagging in the back of my mind, telling me to just let her run and forget all of this.

we can hear someone knocking on the door but i didn't care.

i already informed Chorong unnie not to let anyone in.

"Why? Why do you 'deserve' to know? Just what makes you so special?" I asked frustrated.

well even me, I could answer my own question.

everything about her is special, but i just can not say it. Not yet.

I have to keep up this front. I have to scare her off so she won't asked this again.

some of the people i asked for advise told me that if i'll confess to her, our career will be ruin. But i can't fight this anymore.

seeing her with someone being happy triggered my emotions.

She sighed. 

"You always confused me unnie, you always tried to act silly to make me laugh the next seconds you are back to being cold, you take care of me and be clingy to me Naeunie but other times i see you fooling around with someone. You don't want to share me to anyone, you get sad when you see me with the other members but you are hurting me when you are being a total sweetheart with our members. That is why I have a right to know why! i have a right to know why you like me when i have been nothing but a stupid that always pushed you away! And avoid you off cam!" She is shouting almost screaming at me.

But she stopped fighting me, she is gone limp against me, like she is giving up physically but she is still putting her heart into it.

why? What makes her care to know so much?

"Why do you care? We are in the same group, members from the group need to care for each other and like each other especially the unnies needs to take care of their maknae. That's how it is." I feel like i am talking to a small child and i hate myself for talking down to her like this.

"That's not true. There is always an underlying cause. Like liking me as a member, a sister o-or a person that you.... pity." her voice gets quiet and i almost don't hear that last one. Pity? Why on earth would she say pity.

isn't it obvious that i like her because i love her. Pity is such a cruel word.

tsskk. I forgot that Hayoungie is oblivious somet-- i mean all the time.

"What the hell do you mean by pity Hayoungie? That doesn't even makes sense! Just what are you hinting at Hayoungie?" I feel like i am going to kill someone who makes her feel this way. Gosh i hate myself for making her assume that.

I should have walk away when all of this started.

"You kn