The Tokyo event has just ended. It has been a rollercoaster these past days in Japan and J-Puzzle had prepared signs for the Tokyo events, holding it up towards the end that read ‘all pieces together finish the puzzle’. What it means can be variated depending on what you’re thinking of. If it is depression, the latest troubles on everyone’s mind, the fact that Hannah did not attend the first events this week – in the end, it means that 5 Pieces and Puzzle must all be together to complete their puzzle. It is a nice sign that the ladies got to bring backstage with them and take a picture of to upload and share with fans, thanking them for attending and their love. The events have gone well, it had joyful times and times when the ladies were distant but overall, it has been good. It isn’t until evening on Saturday that 5 Pieces returns to Seoul. They had a few meetings to complete in Tokyo before they could leave and upon arriving in Seoul, the ladies all part ways. Carolina and Julia are going to Taeyeon’s Christmas concert, Maria is heading to the house to rest, Emelia is heading out for drinks with some of their dancers and Hannah is going to meet Jonghyun. Yesterday, Jonghyun was allowed to leave the hospital and he is now staying at his mother’s place, which is where Hannah is going. She heads to the apartment first, only to get her car keys before she gets on the road. Jonghyun’s sister is keeping in touch with her and is the one who lets her in when Hannah reaches the house. “How is he?” Hannah asks the second she takes her shoes off in the hall. Sodam is leaning against the wall, starting to say how it has been. For sure, Hannah has talked to not only Sodam but also their mother and Jonghyun while she has been in Japan, so she is aware of how Jonghyun has been. But she still wants to ask again. Sodam explains it hasn’t been much happening. Jonghyun has mostly stayed in bed, then he has been in the sofa. He lacks energy, not wanting to do anything. The two women talks in low voices for a while before Hannah can go up to Jonghyun’s old room, that now is used as a guestroom. She opens the door to the dark bedroom and puts down her bag on the side before she closes the door after her. It’s too dark to see much when the door is closed, but she swept her eyes around the room when it was open and for that know where Jonghyun is. Quietly, she goes to the bed and lies down next to him, lying on her side and waiting for her eyes to adjust in the dark. Jonghyun is lying on his stomach, facing the other side. She can’t tell if he is asleep or not. With her hand slowly reaching out on the space between them to touch him, she stops halfway when Jonghyun moves. He turns his head around and tired eyes meet hers. “Hi…” Hannah whispers, giving him a small smile in the dark. She touches his arm. “I missed you.” “I missed you too,” Jonghyun mumbles. He blinks slowly, as if he wants to sleep more. It hurts, Hannah thinks, seeing him like this. “Do you want to go for a walk?” Hannah wonders. “You haven’t been outside all week.” “Mom told you that?” “Mm. Sodam did too. It’s dark outside, we can go for a walk with Roo,” she suggests, watching his face while wondering how to make him feel better. “What do you say?” He sighs deeply before giving a low hum in response.   When they leave the house, Sodam looks grateful but she doesn’t say anything. She just gives a nod and a soft smile, letting her younger brother go for a walk. It is Hannah who holds the leash to the dog, and once they get to the street, Jonghyun reaches for her free hand. Their walk is quiet for a start, neither saying anything, their pace is slow and they make many stops as the dog wants to smell every meter. It’s calming and the air is cool to their faces. It feels good to take a walk outside, to not have anyone else next to her than Jonghyun. She doesn’t know how he feels about it. “I’ve decided what to do,” Jonghyun mumbles, breaking their silence. “Mm…” she hums in response. “I’ll come to Sweden with you.” She turns her head to look up at him with a frown. “You- What?” she asks, dumbfounded, blinking at him in confusion. Jonghyun nods, his voice low and thoughtful as he explains; “I’ve thought it through. I know you won’t want to go to Sweden without knowing how I am, and honestly, I don’t… … I’ll miss you, if you go without me. And… well, it will be good to get away for a bit.” “Jonghyun, you know I’m going there to work, right? I won’t have much free time-” “That’s okay. It will be a change of scenery,” Jonghyun mentions and he sighs, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. “Unless you think I’ll be a nuisance.” To that, Hannah just pouts. He won’t be a nuisance. It’s actually a good idea, she thinks, because when talking to the ladies she said she will probably not go to Sweden because she doesn’t want to leave Jonghyun. The thought of being at the other side of the globe at this time, being away from him, it won’t work. Just being in Japan was breaking her heart of worry. She doesn’t try to talk him out of it. It feels good he made the decision himself. They start talking a lot during the rest of the walk. About Sweden, about the up-coming days with Christmas and preparations to go to Sweden, about psychologists that Hannah has called and who has been calling and visiting Jonghyun. Minho and Key came by today, Taemin had visited Jonghyun at the hospital, and Onew has been texting Jonghyun a lot more than usual these past few days. Hannah has talked to all four of them as well. Taemin had called her when she was in Japan, wanting to hear how she is doing. A lot of people are reaching out to both Hannah and Jonghyun this week. Taking a walk seems to be good for him, Hannah thinks, since he starts talking and his pace fastens. Though he doesn’t say anything about how he is feeling.   The next day, they stay at the house for most of the day. It is a lot of discussions. Jonghyun’s sister and mother wants to know what they will do. They have been given counselling at the hospital to know more about how families should behave and react around someone with such a severe depression. They talk for a long time. His mother does not approve of Jonghyun going to Sweden, they argue about it and she says she will call the hospital to see if he is even allowed to go. But the hospital can’t do anything. Jonghyun will go abroad with his wife, there is nothing they can do about that. No matter what his mother says, no matter how much she complains and tells Hannah to speak reason with Jonghyun, the decision has been made. Hannah won’t tell him to change his mind either. They go back to the apartment after dinner with his mother and sister. It’s December 24, the day that Hannah usually spends Christmas with 5 Pieces. But today, all those plans are cancelled for her. The other ladies had lunch at home and they have spent the afternoon doing charity work. Hannah was supposed to do it too, but at the beginning of the week, she cancelled – they agreed on it, deciding that this weekend she must be with her husband. To be there when he goes back to the apartment. Where it happened almost a week ago, where he decided to take his life. When parking the car, the atmosphere is changing. Hannah thought it would go well, but feeling how nervous he is getting, she is getting nervous too. They are quiet going up in the elevator, the tension rising. But walking inside the hall, it’s like nothing is different. The air in there isn’t weird, everything is the way it should; as if they expected it to be a crime scene. For sure, Jonghyun’s mother has been here. She has been cleaning, changing the bedsheets, she has filled the fridge with homemade side-dishes. She had to do something else than visit the hospital when Jonghyun was there. “Right…” Hannah remembers when thinking it’s too empty in the hall, “Tiger is at the house.” “That’s right…” Jonghyun mumbles and nods, sighing as he takes his shoes off. It’s awkward, going in and start unpacking – one from being at the hospital and one from being in Japan. Seeing the bed, seeing the food his mother has brought, seeing their home that has a crack in it. “Are you taking a shower first?” Hannah wonders. Jonghyun bites his lip, staring at the bed he put his bag on. The bed he almost a week ago tried to commit suicide in. “I think I’m going to just… lie down in the sofa or something.” “You know, you still smell like the hospital,” Hannah points out, getting up next to him to try look at his face. Her expression is soft. “We can take a shower together, if you want.” Her suggestion doesn’t seem like a good one. Jonghyun bends forward, emptying his bag. “I’m not in the mood right now.” Hannah reaches for his arm to turn him to face her, noticing how he is avoiding looking at her. Guilt. He is thinking of last time they were in here, when he was unconscious. “It’s not ual,” she honestly tells him and he gives her a quick glance. “You haven’t showered and if you don’t have the energy to shower by yourself, all you need to do is stand in it. I’ll help you.” Not ual, Jonghyun thinks. She convinces him to get in the shower and while all Jonghyun does is undress, he watches his wife prepare the water and the towels and shove him in to get wet. Her words are repeating in his mind when Hannah walks inside the shower to him. . Not ual. She blinks from the water hitting her face when taking her hands to his hair, starting to help him shower. He keeps watching her face, seeing her a bit bothered by the water but focused. The water keeps running when she reaches for the shampoo bottle, pouring it in her hands and gently massaging it in his hair. She pulls lightly for him to lean his head back to not get the soap in his eyes. Gentle, Jonghyun thinks. His mind is occupied by her. She’s not doing this for it to be ual, she isn’t expecting anything from him other than to let her wash him. The way she touches him, washing his hair and neck, just having her stand in front of him despite what he has put her through. Jonghyun’s hand touches her hip, caressing her skin lightly. He sighs from the conflicted thoughts in his mind and leans his head down on her shoulder. “Not ual, you said,” he tells her, thinking he is going to start crying. His voice wavers. “Nabi, you can’t say that when you’re standing in front of me.” “Do you want me to put clothes on?” Hannah suggests. The words are meant as a joke but her tone doesn’t follow. Her voice is as gentle as her touch. He shuts his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw from the tears burning in his eyes. His arms wrap around her for a hug. “I love you so damn much,” he mumbles.   After a shower, Hannah dries his hair. He gets pampered to the extreme, something he normally enjoys a lot. To have her wash his hair, to tell him to lie down on the sofa for her to prepare the facial mask and lotion and take care of him from top to toe. Hannah does it all. Normally, he would be the one asking her for most of these things. He doesn’t dislike that she does it at this time, he enjoys it, staring at her while she cares for him or keeping