Random drawing I did when I first thought of this scene

Chapter 68 - Drip Drop Teardrop

The slow motion continued when Yi-en dropped to his knees with wide eyes, staring at me in utter disbelief and I could only stare back to watch his body collide with the cold asphalt. As usual, I could only watch. I had never been taught to act right away.

Yi-en's eyes didn't leave me, not even when the gun clattered to the ground and he started crying out for me. His quiet and husky voice shook me to the core and it got louder and louder until a sob interrupted him. “Turtle. Tu- H-Hyungwon.” The pain seemed to set in because he rolled up with a scream. A moment later and time sped up again as I dropped my gun as well, the plastic and metal completely useless now anyway.

Hyungwon! H-Hyung-

Sangwon! I'll be right there! Sangwon, it's gonna be over soo- let me go! Let me go to him! For 's sake, let me go to my brother!

There was nobody holding me back this time but it still took me several seconds to move. He's your enemy, Hyungwon. What does he even deserve? I pressed my lips together and knelt down by his side, not knowing how to ease his pain. I didn't want to see him like that. Wanting him out of my sight and wanting him hurt were two different things. And this right here looked worse than just a normal wound.

I carefully clasped my shaking fingers around his arms to make him face me and my eyes got stuck on the liquid tinting the already dark clothes pitch black. Yi-en's hands that had been pressing against the wound were red with blood, his reddish hair suddenly appearing to be mocking him as though it had known all along. “L-let me see”, I squeaked through clattering teeth, all hatred gone and I weaved my fingers through his to get them away from the wound. He would only make things worse if he kept moving.

I didn't need to see what it looked like underneath the darkened cloth to know what was going to happen. No first aid could save him. No surgery would be able to stop the blood from flowing out until it was too late anyway. The dark cloth covering his stomach spoke for itself – the bullet had hit its mark but whose bullet was it anyway?

I raised my head, scanned the nearby houses, the ruins, the shadows but nobody could be seen. Nobody but me and Yi-en who was crying, shaking, trying to thrash around – but every movement only made things worse so I forced him down by the arms again. “Stay still”, I ordered with a whisper but he was too busy panicking and staring at me in absolute shock to hear it right away. “Stay still you giant idiotic bamboo rat!”, I repeated and a quiet sob got mixed into my words.

The emotions were still there. I thought I had turned my back on Yi-en, I actually had but he was still someone I had once cared about. And if you care about a person once it's not really that easy to watch them ing die. This was Yi-en dying there in front of me. The one who had raised me up when I wanted to die myself. The one who was there when I cried, who would protect me if something happened, who would hold me, cradle me in his arms until I stopped shaking at night.

And now that he was the one crying I noticed that I could never forget about what he had done to help me. But I still couldn't help him. Helpless, useless, weak. Times had changed, we had grown apart, but memories brought me back to my old me to feel a sense of pity. “What do you say? Will I make it?”, he asked though his eyes told me that he knew the answer. He was suffering.

Don't look at me like that. “Look at me, Yi-en”, I whispered, quickly so that I wouldn't break out into a panic attack before I could say it all. He deserved my undivided attention at that moment and I had to deal with his for once. Just this once. “There's a lot I wanted to say and a lot I thought I didn't need to say but you look like and I will just talk so you'd better stay with me and look at me until I'm done with you, alright? Did you hear me officer Tuan?”

“T-Tuan at your- argh, at your service. Now you're p-paying attention to me...huh?”, he managed to chuckle between two pained breaths. “Let me- let me say something...first.”

“What, I-”

“I know you're tired, ha, of hearing it-” He wanted to curl up again but my grip was strong, forcing his shoulders down. “-but I love you...still. So much. But you a-and I are...differ...ent...and-” A sigh escaped his lips when he forced himself to relax and take a couple of deep breaths, the dark stain spreading across his stomach area. “I'm sorry I c-couldn't unders-understand you.”

“Don't say that, Yi-en. Don't say it like that”, I whispered, freeing his left shoulder to take the corresponding hand instead, blood soaking the sleeve of my once perfectly white uniform. “Don't make me feel sorry.”

“No. Don't pity me. It's alright.”

“I don't want to pity you, okay? But I know what you mean and I'm sorry as well but there's just no space for you anymore. For us in the sense of you and I alone. And that makes it so much worse. I loved you. Loved every single thing about you, about the way you behaved around me and me only. It was amazing, you were. Still it's the past, you know? I thought after all this time I could finally move on, I did, at least I think so. You-”

“-shouldn't have...held on to a l-love based...on gratitude”, he finished my sentence for me and the slight smile looked horribly out of place on his distorted and tear stained face. “I know. I take back what I said earlier.” I swallowed heavily and his hold on my hand tightened a little as if to assure me that it was okay. “You're not...my enemy. N-never were...I was yours. Be happy for me, will ya?”

“I hate you”, I managed to utter, “You saying that kind of stuff makes this all the more frustrating and I just want to ing hate you so much but why do you have to d- to go right now? Why are you leaving lying in my arms like Sangwon did? This is not fair.”

“It's not fair, you're...right. Pity yourself. That's better. P-poor turtle.” Yi-en let out a weak cough, no strength left in his body as he tried to keep his eyes on me. “But you're not the one dying right now...are you?”

“It kind of feels the same”, I whispered before I could think about it. It felt like I was being torn apart though he was the one hurting. It felt like I had been shot when the blood soaking my uniform was his. It felt like Sangwon was there in front of me when he wasn't.

“How cheesy.” His voice grew tired and worn out as he took another deep breath. “Tis better to have loved and lost-” I let out a snort. How dare he quote stuff in this situation like some sort of tragic hero? I squeezed his hand to encourage him to finish it. “-than never to have loved at all.”

Yi-en let out another couple of heavy pants before his eyes began to shut slowly. “Hyungwon-”

“Yi-en. Yi-en, stay with me. Keep your eyes open. For 's sake, Yi-en, stay awake!”

And everything that came after that is just a blur of innocent white and the sadly beautiful color of blood.

________________

What have I done? I kept thinking the same thing over and over again as I stared at Hyungwon who hadn't moved from his seat in the hospital's waiting room for the past hour. Not even a twitch of his finger occurred to help me start a conversation. I hadn't known whom it was. Hadn't known who was raising his gun to shoot what I had thought to be mine. Until I got to him who was dying with Hyungwon's fingers digging into his shoulders, shaking him, trying to keep him awake.

What had I done? Simple: I had hit the mark. Better than I had intended to.

“Hyungwon!” I ran up to the person dressed in white that was currently kneeling on the ground, hunched over the body of the Chinese soldier. “Hyungwon are you- , are you alright?” I could hear quiet sobs coming from him, blood on his hands and sleeves, and for a split second I was worried I had hit him as well but then I saw how he was clinging to his opponent's blood-soaked uniform and forced myself to relax. It wasn't his blood.

Then again, why was there so much of it?

I had told the others we had found another one, giving out our location so that they could help us if there was a problem but it looked like I had solved it all on my own...or? “H-Hyungwon?” Tears were streaming down his face. Drip, drop. One after the other. “What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did I-”

“Don't die, I'm sorry. Don't...don't...” I put my hand on his shoulder, crouching down next to him but he only clenched his teeth. I looked at the red-haired male in front of me with my eyes widening. Die? Wait, I didn't aim at any vital part, just enough to-

I rounded Hyungwon and the other guy to have a look at the wound, black and red everywhere. The bullet, where had it hit him? And when I found it, I could tell Hyungwon was right: the man was almost dead. My fingers started shaking as I raised them to my mouth. “He shouldn't be dying.” Hyungwon let out a sob that caused the weird feeling t