Chapter 13 - Monsta X

I could see Hyungwon burning with a million new questions, but he stuck with the rules and waited for me to tell him more. “Yes, he was in the military forces. I know this might be shocking, but he meant no harm. Kihyun isn't one of those who support the Chinese and has never been, so we decided to give him a chance, much to Jooheon's dismay at that time.”

Hyungwon's eyes darted around the room and his lips before taking a deep breath. “Wh-what if he was actually supporting them? Would you have taken him in?”, he asked nervously and I knew something was off as soon as he stumbled over his words.

“Are you scared? We would never let anyone who could harm us into our group. Especially not if they were connected to the Chinese forces. Hyungwon just trust me. You promised.”

Said male glanced at me with an unsure gaze, making me wonder what our oppressor had done to him to turn him into something like this at the mention of the military. I leaned back and turned towards him with my hands folded in my lap. “He just thought he might be able to find his place in the world”, I explained. “He was sick of not knowing where to go. Changkyun and Kihyun are both orphans, you know?”

Hyungwon seemed to remember something and gave me a slightly choppy nod with a voice that was merely a whisper. “He told me the other day.”

I swallowed as I thought back to the day when Changkyun dragged him through our door. “He was trained to become a first-class sniper for over three years, but he ran away with a few others and was the only one to survive. He managed to run away and yet he had nowhere to go. They would search the orphanage first and if they found him he'd be dragged back into that facility of military hell so that he wouldn't tattle.” I shook my head in pity and looked up. “That's when Changkyun found him and recognized him from before, bringing Kihyun to us and we took him in so that he could hide. He was the last to join our group two years ago. Well, until you came along that is.” I gave Hyungwon a weak smile. “Our lovely cripple is still sensitive concerning this topic, but he's getting better. He only ever talks to the youngest about it though – if you try to confront him he gets aggressive.”

My opponent's gaze clouded when he fell silent and I took my time to count the people who had come today while waiting. Thirty-eight. They increased in number, but I couldn't give them much more Delphinium because Shownu's uncle had already warned me about how the flowers needed their time to grow and I couldn't just keep selling more and more. I didn't come all the way here for that kind of answer, Chanyeol's voice echoed in my head, but I blinked until I got rid of it. I'll go there tomorrow, they'll have to learn to wait.

“And now that he's free his leg got paralyzed by a drug. That's unjust”, Hyungwon finally whispered in disbelief, his hand resting at his side as if he wasn't feeling well and I was pulled out of my thoughts, agreeing with a hum.

“It is. But he will be fine. He's strong.” My company fell silent after that and I watched Seungcheol and Bora flirt clumsily for a while before noticing that Hyungwon had taken out some kind of book and started writing in it. “What's that?”

“I won't count this as your question”, he uttered in concentration while drawing big and twirly letters. I craned my neck until I could finally recognize the two words. The Clan. “I decided to write down all I get to know about it. You could say I'm creating a compendium.” When he saw my frown he just shrugged. “I have too many things on my mind, so I need to write them down.”

A smile worked up its way to my lips and I chuckled quietly before patting his shoulder. “Sounds good. Make me look positive please.”

“You wish, dealer.”

“Then I still have two more questions left”, I changed the topic with another smirk, glad that I could leave the dark topic of Kihyun behind. I had run out of legitimate questions a long time ago and since Hyungwon had found the guts to ask about my friend I would ask one I really wanted to know the answer to as well. One he didn't reply to when I asked him on Monday.

“Hyungwon, when was the first time you were let down or disappointed by a person and who was it?”

He stayed silent. It got to the point where I thought he wouldn't answer anymore and accepted the fact that I had lost his interest as he started writing things down in that new book of his. But then he cleared his throat and his lips with eyes that were once more uncertainly darting around the room to watch everything but me.

“When someone made a decision and didn't see it through until the end. When that person was taken from me – or rather walked out on me – without even trying to hold on. That was only about three months ago.”

I swallowed at his husky voice and whispered: “Who was it?”

Hyungwon took a shaking breath and finally locked gazes with me, letting me see a tiny spark of the immense emotional pain burning him on the inside before he concealed it again. “A person I would have trusted with my life. That was the time I was the most disappointed.” I should have asked for a name, I thought and suppressed the urge to keep digging. I was so close to know the answer to Hyungwon's behavior and yet it felt like I was only just scratching at the surface. At least I vaguely knew where his trust issues came from now, but that wasn't enough to satisfy me.

I prepared myself for the same question to answer with a sigh, but he didn't ask anything. “It's your turn”, I encouraged him, but he was definitely lost in thought and I decided that it would be good to just let him think about whatever he wanted to ask and shut my mouth while waiting.

I waited for ten minutes straight and watched him sketch a flower that looked extremely similar to Delphinium in his new book, writing down all I had told him the week before in order. After that, he wrote down the names of the gangs that gathered every Wednesday, but left a gap at the top. Another five minutes later he still hadn't asked his question but didn't write down anything either and I nudged his side with my elbow. “Hyungwon? Are you okay?”

He seemed to snap out of his trance and looked at me with a clouded gaze. “Yeah. I'm just lost in thought. Sorry.”

“Shall we go home?” When he nodded I gave him an uncertain smile and pulled him to his feet as he didn't show any intention of moving on his own, guiding him through the gradually darkening tunnels. “Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?”, I asked when the silence started getting on my nerves and again it seemed like he was far away with his thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, well, I could ask you the same.”

“I'm waiting for your question, idiot.” Still he didn't seem bothered and just kept staring off into the distance. What kind of memory had I triggered with my previous question to turn him into this? Or was it because of Kihyun? Or The Clan?

“Minhyuk.” We had just reached the stairs when he stopped and had me turn around with a frown, looking down at him. “I've got one.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Well, I... You'll answer honestly, right?” I nodded and Hyungwon lowered his gaze, his lips for the umpteenth time that day like he always did when he was nervous. “Minhyuk, have you ever- I mean, do you think you- Ah, never mind.”

“Hyungwon, you'll ask your question right now.”

“What's the name of your gang?”

It took me a moment to decipher his question before frowning. “That's not what you wanted to ask.”

“So what, I changed my mind.” He avoided locking gazes but raised his book. “There's a gap in my list of gangs because I don't know yours.”

I sighed, knowing that he wouldn't give in and buried my hands in the pocket of my hoodie. “It's Monsta X.” It was Hyungwon's turn to frown and he pressed his lips together before giving in and laughing out loud. A laugh came from this emotionally constipated guy in front of me and he noticed his mistake, slapping a hand over his mouth in a hurry.

He bit his lip to suppress his smile and it felt good to see him like this all of a sudden. “Monsta X?”

“What's wrong with that?”, I huffed and crossed my arms as we continued walking. “It was Jooheon's idea.”

“How the hell did he think of something like that?”, my company continued