Chapter 20 - Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I was really curious as to what Minhyuk would be like when I got back from work, but I was immensely disappointed when the usual sunflower-like smile greeted me in the afternoon. Nothing, literally nothing, hinted at his behavior from before and I didn't know if I should ask him about it or not. I tried to act normal but couldn't help shooting him a few unsure glances every now and then.

It was early in the evening and we were sitting on the sofas, complete except for Shownu, when Minhyuk said that he still had to go to the eldest's uncle to grab a bunch of flowers for the next day and stated that he'd be back in forty minutes. I could tell he was lowkey asking me to come along, but Kihyun interfered and said that I had to help him prepare dinner in the meantime, getting me out of the affair. The white-haired male puffed his cheeks but agreed without much arguing and was past the door only five minutes later.

Changkyun cocked his head to the side and stared at his orphan friend with a raised eyebrow. “Why would you ask Hyungwon to cook with you? You've got me, haven't you?”

Wonho chuckled and stretched his back before leaning against the youngest without a trace left of the highly intelligent and calculating guy I had seen in the morning. “True that. Did something happen today?” He shot me a questioning look. I guessed that the remaining Delphinium cursing through his veins made him softer and it definitely had the same effect on me even after a whole day. I was much more relaxed around him though he didn't give me any reason to. “You're not planning on ignoring him again, are you?”

“What? No, Kihyun was the one to-”

“Kyun, you're a horrible cookmaid, I'd choose a monkey over you”, Kihyun interrupted me and limped towards the kitchen before turning back. “But that aside, I wanted to tell Hyungwon that he doesn't have to worry about Minhyuk.” His eyes were on me for a long time and he sighed. “I know what he's like and I can take care of him. He just doesn't remember what happened, you know?”

Jooheon who was lounging on the armchair craned his neck to be able to look at Kihyun with a raised eyebrow. “Now that I think of it, when did he have his Delphinium yesterday? I didn't see him take it.”

“It was very late when he came back into the garden”, Wonho explained, “Around three in the morning maybe, I was already dozing off.”

Changkyun furrowed his brows. “Where did he go?”

“Something must have come up”, Kihyun said before any of the other two could open their mouths. “No biggie. What's more important is that the effect was still there when he woke up in the morning.”

Everybody inhaled sharply but then, out of nowhere, Wonho began to chuckle and looked at me. “Let me guess!”, he demanded while shifting to let Changkyun rest his head on his lap comfortably. It looked as though they were brothers and I tried not to think about how much I wished to know what having a brother felt like again. The unrestricted trust in each other. The memories you shared. You don't have a brother, Hyungwon. I blinked to get these thoughts out of my mind and focused on Wonho who was observing me with a curious pair of eyes. “Our baby Hyungwon witnessed Minhyuk on drugs, right? How was it?”

I swallowed and looked to Kihyun for help, still not comfortable with directly talking to the blonde. Kihyun leaned on one of his crutches with a smirk. “Yeah, well, he was kind of threatening to kill you for invading his space.”

Wonho raised his brows in surprise and Jooheon barely held back a chuckle. “Serves you right.” He then glanced at me. “So, you got to know Madhyuk? No wonder you were so careful around him today, I was scared as when I first saw him like that.”

“You must know”, Kihyun explained calmly, “that there are several extreme emotions that occur when he's high. Be it anger, sadness or complete apathy, we can never be sure which outcome we might get. It depends on his mood, the amount of his suppressed emotions and his thoughts.”

“Madhyuk is the worst of them”, Jooheon added with a serious nod and I didn't know where to look with everybody staring at me for a reaction of any kind. I felt weird, listening to Kihyun's explanation: Just a few days prior I'd have wondered if I should run away and distance myself from all these bipolar psychos around me. But not today. I didn't worry about myself first; it was Minhyuk's mental state I worried about at that very moment.

I bit my lip, lowering my voice into a whisper. “What kind of suppressed emotions?”

Wonho hummed while dismissing my question with a wave of his hand. “We all know his smile can't always be a hundred percent honest. We know that there's something bothering him and it's most likely his forgotten past. Well, this time it was me, but you get the point.”

I nodded and hugged myself as I was suddenly feeling cold. “Then maybe if you helped him remember the rest he would change.”

“You bet he would”, Jooheon snorted, averting his gaze with a groan. “But not for the better.”

His comment had me furrow my brows and Changkyun and Kihyun shut their mouths tightly, leaving me with the flirt and the student to talk this out with. “How would you know?”, I asked and before Jooheon could say anything, Wonho interfered.

“Why would you want to know, darling? Is our little boy interesting all of a sudden?”

I clenched my teeth and glared at him, but he just raised his eyebrow in expectation, causing me to draw a deep breath. “It's completely irrelevant right now, but I'm simply willing to try to understand the bunch of weirdos I'm staying with. It's a fact that I don't want anyone to suffer on their own as long as there's a way to help.”

“Well, you're not very good at taking care of yourself though, are you? You suffer on your own as well”, Wonho kept asking and I straightened my back, shooting him a meaningful glance.

“Of course you can't take care of yourself. Nobody can take care of themselves, don't you think?”

A moment of surprised silence passed before the blonde caught on and a spark of amusement lit up his eyes. “So you have to stay around those who can? Hyungwon, you learn really fast, I think I might be falling for you.”

“ off, you-”

“Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about”, Jooheon interrupted our little verbal exchange while massaging his temples. “But back to the main point: We tried helping Minhyuk, but he buries himself in a hole if he starts to remember. He's not strong enough to bear the story's whole weight, so we have him stay clueless instead.”

The front door opened all of a sudden and everybody spun around with a start, thinking it was Minhyuk, just to see Shownu stand in the corridor with a confused expression. “You all look so serious, did something happen?”

I swallowed, returning my gaze to Jooheon in shock without answering the leader's question. “You know what happened to him? But he told me you didn't know either.”

Jooheon gave me a sad smile and avoided eye contact at all cost. “We discussed this a long time ago and it's the best for him to stay the way he is right now.”

“But that's heartless.” I shot up from my seat and let my gaze wander over the five guys standing and sitting around the room. “He's unhappy with that big hole in his memories. Don't you want him to cheer up and-”

“Do you think we didn't try, smartass?”, Wonho interrupted me with a hiss and Shownu cleared his throat, having caught on in a matter of seconds, and everybody turned their heads towards him.

“Yes, there are times when Minhyuk isn't happy with his situation. Yes, we do want him to cheer up.” The leader's voice gained power and volume until it filled the whole room and had me duck my head a little. “But when we're telling you that he gets worse if he finds out about his past we're telling you the truth. I don't want this devilish cycle to start over and over in an attempt to help him, because every time he'll fall back into Delphinium and his addiction will get worse and worse until his body can't take it anymore. Do you want that, Hyungwon? Help him until he's lost and without a chance of finding his way back? Do you?”

I was overwhelmed by his pained voice and immediately lowered my head, standing straight like a boy being scolded. What was I thinking, meddling with their business? I barely knew them for one month and here I was, reproaching them for their actions. Why did I even bother, Minhyuk's worries weren't mine at all. I forced myself to stop thinking about his mental health and bit my lip instead. “I guess I don't know enough to excoriate your decisions yet.”

I saw Shownu's body relax and he ran a hand through his hair with a deep sigh. “You couldn't sense it, it's a legitimate argument. But Minhyuk is a difficult topic. Maybe he'll remember one day and maybe he'll bear the burden, but I won't be the one to tell him anything.”

“Yeah, you're not the only one with trust issues and you should keep that in mind”, Wonho tossed in and I noticed how everybody had gotten quiet, looking anywhere but at me.

Kihyun shifted awkwardly in his place. “We might tell you more another time, but you'll have to simply trust us for now and accept things the way they ar