Chapter 57 - The Dark Horse

“And you can't be mistaken? That bomb wasn't America but China?”, Jooheon asked in disbelief and I my lips with a nod.

“No doubt. I heard an officer talk to his friend about it.” Hyungwon's head turned towards me but I only concentrated on clenching my teeth once I was done talking. I wouldn't tell on him but that didn't mean I supported his decision to keep his spy-nature a secret from us. I still couldn't believe it.

Changkyun craned his neck and shuffled closer to have a look at my lowered eyes. “Why did you cry?”

“I didn't-” I stopped myself with a sigh. Of course they'd pick up on that minor detail. “It was just a shock.”

Hyungwon's hand twitched as if to hold on to my arm but he regained his composure and cleared his throat to talk for the first time since we had entered the house. “You would be the same if you had seen the ruins. It's all so real all of a sudden.” His hand twitched again and I forced myself to look elsewhere to not be distracted any more.

Kihyun buried a hand in his hair and sighed. “We need to act. It doesn't matter if we're on nobody's side, we'll get bombed by China and America all the same if it goes on like this.”

Shownu took a few deep breaths while massaging his temples. “We need Wonho to decide on what to do. We're in this together.”

“I say we go down to Ulsan and join the American force. I've had enough of those rats called officers”, Jooheon groaned and Hyungwon agreed quietly.

“It would be the best to do that. Let's wait for Wonho to come back, gather our things and go for now. We might come back sooner or later but it's not safe here. Nowhere is safe anymore, we need to be on the move.”

I closed my eyes and wanted to leave for my room but turned around again to look at Hyungwon. “You think there won't be any more unwanted surprises if we go?”

We stared at each other for a solid ten seconds during which my whole frustration was conveyed to him and he his lips with clouded eyes. “I don't think there can be a more unwanted surprise than having your last stocks bombed.”

“If you say so.”

“It's really weird, isn't it? How did they manage to hit our stocks if they dropped the bomb at random? It's almost as if-” I walked up the stairs and closed the door to my room before Changkyun could finish that thought, leaning my head against the wood in resignation.

I was trying hard not to believe Hyungwon's every word. I felt like I shouldn't just accept all of his suggestions like leaving for somewhere unknown. It might have been Jooheon to throw the first stone but Hyungwon had agreed without hesitation. It could be a trap. It could have been planned all along.

At the same time I was trying to believe him. Every time I would say something indirectly directed at him he would get it and react in a way that sounded hurt or defensive. I just couldn't bring myself to think he had been lying to us for months. He didn't seem to be like that. I didn't want to believe that Hyungwon had given out information to the army. I didn't want him to feel guilty after seeing all the hurt in his eyes.

“Really, why am I like this?”, I groaned while dragging my feet towards the bed again. I didn't know what to think anymore.

It was the irregular sounds that caught my attention shortly before the door to my room opened and Kihyun stepped in with a careful but kind smile. “Mind if I say something?”

“Whatever you want”, I replied with a shrug and he hobbled to my desk to sit down in the old chair.

“I'm not in favor of you walking around with crusty hands. You should wash them.”

I glanced at my palms to find them littered with tiny dark red dots of dried blood. How come I had forgotten all about how I had hurt my hands when I fell back at the alley? The skin started itching all of a sudden and I bit down on my lower lip. “I tripped.”

“The reason doesn't matter but the outcome. Stand up, we're going to the bathroom.”

“Nah, I'm fine.” Kihyun's eyes narrowed at my lack of compliance and he drew himself up to go to the bathroom and come back with whatever he needed to wash the crusty blood off. I knew resisting any longer would result in him hitting me with his crutches so I just held out my hands for him to have a look at. “It's nothing major, only a lot of little stuff. It's not as bad as it looks.”

“Is playing things down one of your favorite games these days? Because you've been doing that a lot lately”, Kihyun mumbled and I let out a hiss when he wiped the sore skin with a cotton soaked with disinfectant.

“How would you even know?”

“You would never be this gloomy if there wasn't something on your mind. You wouldn't get defensive either. Spit it out.”

Another sigh broke out of me and Kihyun sat down beside me on the bed. Hyungwon is a spy and I think he could have betrayed us but still he wouldn't do that and he also told me he had no intention of doing it so it's fine? I shook my head in a hurry. “I can't tell you because I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone.”

Again I could feel his eyes on me but did my best to keep mine down. “It's something about Hyungwon, right? That walking secret, really. I hope it's nothing that consumes the two of you separately.”

“Why would you bring Hyungwon into this all of a sudden? I never mentioned him, did I? I didn't, right?” I glanced at Kihyun by accident and saw his raised brow right before stopping myself. So much for being normal. I leaned back lying down on the bed with my legs dangling from the side.

My opponent poked my belly with his index finger and I groaned while curling into a small ball. “You're weird today”, Kihyun muttered with a pout. “You're either too clingy or unapproachable but never like this. Did you confess your love or anything?”

“Did not!”, I gasped with gigantic eyes disbelieving of what the other was assuming out of the blue. “Stop asking, it's...it's much more complicated than that.”

“Suddenly it's not that surprising that your relationship is so ambiguous anymore”, Kihyun sighed and drew himself up by his crutches. “Whatever you say. I'll go get something to eat before the markets are emptied out by panicking people buying all there is.”

“Do that”, I mumbled with my eyes directed at the ceiling and listened to the sound of his crutches before I was wrapped in silence again.

What have you done to me?

Did you confess your love or anything?

Did I? Was that the reason why I was being this irrational and indecisive? “No way I did. He's a spy and I'm just angry”, I whispered to myself with a firm shake of my head. “Right, I just don't know why I'm angry and that's it.” Of course nobody was there to agree with me and I rolled over to bury my face in my cushion with a sigh. That just couldn't be it.

________________

I was angry for the next few hours. At Yi-en. At myself. At the world. Simply everything that had caused Minhyuk to doubt me. I wanted to clarify things but how? There wasn't anything else I could say to him but the stuff I had said before entering the house again. It was frustrating to have to endure his jabs.

I heard an officer talk to his friend about it. I wasn't Yi-en's friend anymore. I wasn't anything.

You think there won't be any more unwanted surprises if we go? Why did it sound like he expected me to betray him once the time was right?

Shownu cleared his throat after Kihyun had left for the supermarket with Changkyun in tow. “You're scowling.”

I swallowed quickly and blinked. “I am?”

Jooheon groaned while stretching his limbs on the armchair. “Are you thinking about the war? Because same. Don't worry too much.”

“I'm not- well, yeah, I'm worried. But not for myself but us as a group. I was wondering how I could keep us together. I don't want us to fall apart once we get there. How will I prevent them from breaking us up to go to different places.” I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Yeah, that was the overall problem. Minhyuk was just a part of it. A very big and nerve-wrecking part. Okay maybe this was all about him.

“I don't think you can influence them that easily. This isn't BTS or Seventeen. It's America”, Shownu muttered and I nodded my head with a slight smirk. I could disclose some information without getting caught, at least I believed I could.

“That's true, I need to be useful first and I do have something to offer. I have information about the army I took from the Chinese intranet from during the radio tower thing.” I my lips and avoided directly looking at them. “I copied them before destroying the access. They're upstairs on a thumb drive in my room. America might listen to my humble request if I offer them that in return. That's...yeah, that's what I was thinking about.” Apart from Minhyuk.

“Y