Changmin is taking his meds with Jaejoong watching over him. They're having breakfast at 9, Yoochun tried his best to prepare it as you're in the hospital, Jaejoong is too exhausted after what happened last night,the others can't cook and your mother is too sad to even do anything. Mason plays with his airplane while Yoochun is feeding him.

"Appa! Where's omma?" asks Mason swinging his toy back and forth. "Omma is unwell.I'll take you to her after your painting class" says Yoochun,wiping off Mason's mouth. Mason nods, not asking anymore question. Everyone is really quiet today, just simple talks about the house chores and practice session. 

Changmin barely touch his food, his eyes are swollen and his face is bloated.He has his shades on to hide it or Mason will be uneasy without knowing why. Just thinking about facing you hurts him,his body feels so weak,his head feels heavy.His parents will be coming over on evening. Your parents has left to the hospital,they're having their breakfast somewhere else. Changmin understands them for doing so.How can they sit on the same table as him? After he fails to protect their precious daughter.

"I'll be driving" volunteers Yunho. Jaejoong nods,picking up his trench coat and Changmin's. "Keep yourself warm,you might catch cold"

"Thanks Jaejoong hyung"

His in-laws are unhappy with him, so the guys decided to stop ignoring him and treat him well like before. They're still waiting for Changmin to open up and tell them the truth on what's going on between him and Anna. Jaejoong did ask Mr.Choi about Anna's condition.She has been taken to the rehab and will be receiving her treatment well. It's such a relief to hear that. The others didn't know about Anna's suicide attempt last night and they're not asking Changmin's and Jaejoong's whereabout too.Jaejoong is just waiting for the perfect time to tell them all.

Yunho,Jaejoong and Changmin will be visitng you today.Junsu is going to his musical practice,he has no choice but to go there as he's the main actor.Yoochun has to attend the painting class with Mason. Jaejoong walks behind Changmin to the car,afraid that he might collapsed.He's walking a bit wobbly and unstable.

After paying you a visit,Changmin has to pick up the fetus and manage it's funeral.He's planning on to book a space to place the ash. He's going to ask your opinion in naming the baby and tell you that they had a daughter. As soon as he gets in,he leans his body on the seat,falling asleep.He might not get any last night. Yunho asks Jaejoong to keep him company and join him at the backseat.

You open your eyes slowly to see white ceiling, you look at your left leg that has case on.There's no one in the room, just yours alone.Judging your hospital gown, you're in a private hospital. You try to support your upper body with your elbows but end up groaning in pain.

" Sweetie!" Your mother runs towards you,pushing your shoulders backward."Lie down, you're still unwell" You look behind her to see your father walking in, looking as strict as ever. You look at the door expecting your husband,your father realised it,standing in front of you,blocking your view."Changmin will be here in a couple of minutes"

"Really?" you smile bitterly a bit dissapointed as you're hoping him as the first person for you to see when you wake up. Your mother places the flowers she brought in the vase near your bed."Is he ok? Did he hurt himself?"

Your father turns his look away,not answering your question. He must be mad at Changmin for what happen to you. Just then,the door swings open revealing three men in their trench coat. "Honey!" you call over for him. Changmin stops his track but Jaejoong pushes him towards you. He needs to comfort you,not running away.

He bows to your parents,you reach out your hand to him. "Come here" Your father moves away,making a space for him.He holds your hand,squeezing it. "How are you?"

"Better.Come closer." He takes a seat on the chair by your bedside, still holding your hand. You use your other hand to caress his face. "You don't look fine" 

Changmin eagerly shakes his head bringing your hand to his lips,giving you a soft kiss. You carefully take off his shades to see  his bloodshot eyes. "Omo! Why did you cry so much?" you feel pity for him starting to tear up.Changmin sniffs when a tear escape from his right eye. You get panick,something bad must have happened.

"O-Our baby.Our baby!" you pull your hand from his grasp,slowly pulling the cover from your body. Behind the hospital gown, your baby bump is gone. You look at Changmin not moving an inch,his eyes fixed on you.You nervously,lift up your shirt to see a long stitch on your tummy.Your tears well up. Jaejoong turns his look away and so do Yunho.

"Honey....our baby" you're choking on your words,looking at him.He looks at you with tears flowing down his cheeks. "Our baby" you're sobbing,holding on to your chest. Changmin pulls you into his embrace,you cry on his shoulder, still in shock to even accept the fact that you lose your child.

Jaejoong walks out from the room,followed by Yunho and your parents.They will let the both of you to have your time to talk and comfort each other.

Changmin loosens the hug cupping your face. "We had a daughter" says Changmin with his shaky voice. "A pretty daughter"

"Premature baby?"  you curiously ask hoping for twist.

"Darling...we lose her.I'm so sorry"

"You're lying to me aren't you?" you rub your thumb on his jawline.He lowers his head,avoiding his gaze from you."It's..true. Our daughter is gone"

You close your eyes,forcing yourself to calm down.You manage to get a hold of yourself,you lift his chin up to face you.His tears,like waterfall of regret,glistened his eyes and cheeks,like little pools of sorrow,sending more pain to your heart.How can looking at this guy crying makes you feel like a knife stabbing on your chest?

"I'm the one who's sorry honey...I fail to protect our daughter" you reach over his face but he grabs your arm,stopping you."Don't put the blame on yourself...I'm the one who failed to be a good husband and a father yet you're still so nice to me" he smirks. "You're too kind to me that I took you for granted"

"Maybe..God want it this way..both of us are still not ready to have a child on our own...and our baby knew that her parents are unhappy" You try to soothe yourself,wipping off your tears. Changmin grasp your hands,leaning his forehead to yours. "Let's start anew and this time, there will be no more secrets.This... I promise you"

"You mean it?"

He kisses your forehead."Umm" 

"What about Anna?"

"She's in the right hands.I'll tell you everything after you're discharged from this hospital.Everything..." he's trying to wipe off the memories from his mind but for the last time he will tell you about what really happened and why he's being cruel to you.Then, it's nothing but just midnight dreams.

You feel secure with him by your side,arms around you. The most important thing is...now you're clear of his feelings for you. He's yours and you're sure for that. You have to be stronger for him and your family eventhough you're still yearning for your child. "Honey...I can live without you"

Changmin's eyes widen in surprise,he stares at you in disbelief. You turn your head to face him. "I can live without you honey but...I don't want to"

He  breaks into a smile in relief. "You startled me"

"Keep on smiling like that cause when you smile,I smile too" He rubs his thumb on your tears stained face."Cheesy of you"

"But..honey can you give me some time?"

"Time? Why darling?"

"To actually accept everything, I'm not sure if I can even hold any tears for tomorrow or tonight" 

He understands it must be harder for you as it's hard for him too."I keep on hurting you aren't I? Listen...I can't promise you that there will be no tears shed on the next days you spend with me in the future but I promise you...that I'm here to stay. So, you will have the chance to beat me up"

You giggle softly at his joke. This is the real him, not the one who yelled at you and scary enough to make you shiver. Sincerity flows from him like water in the river, smile curls on your thin lips. You realised loving somone is not an easy task and you should never expect them to be perfect but to learn to accept them despite their weakness and fill the empty space in their heart.

Changmin holds the white jar carefully, on it nicely written 'Shim Haneul'. Haneul means sky, you decided on the name for your daughter. So that everytime when you look up to the sky, it will remind the both of you of her.Yunho slides the glass open for Changmin to place the jar in the space. Yunho pats his back,feeling sorry for him.

"Haneul-ah..."

Jaejoong tastes salty drops of tears on his lips,quickly wiping it away. Yunho feels a tickle upon his ice cold dry cheek, the sound of Changmin calling his daughter's name keep echoing in his mind. 

"Appa..and omma love you. Haneul-ah,forgive appa ne? Appa fails to protect you" says Changmin,his bloodshot red eyes leak with sadness. He touches the glass as if he's caressing his daughter's face."Haneul-ah...we love you" with that he falls on his knees,palms on his face.A single drop of sorry and regret well up from the corner of his eye slowly the dam break. His shoulders move up and down,the sound of his heavy breathing fills the room. Slowly, he lifts his chin up,looking out the window to see sparkly white beads coming down as a falling curtain of frost.

"The first snow" states Jaejoong with his crack voice. 

Your mother is feeding you with a bowl of porridge,you swallow every spoonful without complain. 

"Sweetie,it's the first snow" says your mother with a bright smile on her face.You look out the window."It's...beautiful" Your mouth open in awe. "Haneul...she forgives us" You hug your mother tightly,she your head.Glad to see you're not acting like a living corpse. 

"2 days more you will be discharged and we're taking you with us"

You release the hug,looking at you father with a question look. "Taking me with you?"

"Yes,back to the states"

"But,appa-"

"My decision is final. No compromise. I'll get your divorce papers ready"

You turn to face your mom,asking for explaination."Omma"

"Sweetie...this is not even a marriage.This is just a torture,his trap to keep you with him" 

You shake your head not agreeing on what your mother said."Omma,we love each other.Our marriage is just a bit complicated"

"After losing your child,isn't clear to you at how complicated and tough it is? He ran to other woman before you,that's what you call love?"

"I trust him.He must have his own reasons,omma,appa. I'm staying"

"Nam _____! Don't be a fool! I've done everything.I just need your signature and his.Then,this fantasy marriage of yours is over!" 

___________________________________________________________________

Comments and subs,the longest chap so far,my gift for you...as I'm happy to receive lots of feedbacks 

Stop being rude and leave comments for my hardwork ne? 

Sincerely,me