Facing Fact
A New Kind of Love
**********
Back at the dorm I finished some leftover work. What happened after that occurred so abruptly I was practically in shock the whole time.
Minho had just finished his shower when he walked out of the bathroom straight up to my desk and asked, "Kibum, do you like me?"
I shot up at this question. It was just so sudden I stood there speechless.
"Wh- wha- what?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
He walked closer to me and repeated slowly, "I said, do you like me?"
"Ugh, what is this? Suddenly asking such a question?" I tried chuckling it off and going to the bathroom but he held my arm to stop me.
"Admit it. I see the way you look at me. How awestruck you become when you see me and when I talk to you." His grip on my arm tightened.
My lips quivered. "Minho please just-"
"Don't lie to yourself. You like me. You can't stand to not look at me. Admit it." he demanded with a menacing smile.
"Minho PLEASE let me-"
"ADMIT IT!!"
I was on the verge of tears. I was not prepared for such humiliation. I wanted it all to end right then and there. I decides to break it all there. "Alright! I like you! I REALLY like you ok!? Now will you just let go!?"
A tear rolled down my cheek. Minho lightened his grip on my arm and used his other hand to wipe my tear. He whispered, "Kibum-ah. It's ok. I like you too." I slowly lifted my head as he leaned forward and planted his lips on mine.
And we kissed. And kissed. And kissed. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pushed me back. Now I was sitting on my desk, with my legs wrapped around his waist, his arms around mine and my arms around his neck. He started giving me neck kisses and my name.
"Key... Key..."
My eyes were closed. I began to let out sighs and moans. I've never felt this sort of pleasure before. I was too in the moment to respond but I soon did. "Yea Minho?"
"Wakeup." He commanded coldly.
"Wakeup." he repeated.
I was lost for words. "What?"
Finally it hit me. "KIBUM-AH WAKE UP!!"
I finally woke up and shot up from my bed with a gasp for air. Minho was on the side of my bed, his hand lightly gripping my arm.
"You ok? You were sweating so much. You looked like you were having a bad dream."
I looked around. He was right. My sheets were soaked from my sweat. What just happened didn't actually happen. It was all a dream.
"Uh-" I answered nervously. "Y- Yea. It was a nightmare, that's all."
He let out a huge sigh. "That's good. You're ok." He looked at me and patted my arm. "Just get ready. Class starts soon." He said quietly before leaving the room with his books.
For a moment I just sat there in my bed, thinking about that dream. Did I really dream that? Something that intense?
I figured this was something serious, and what I discovered next further confirmed my suspicions.
I looked under my covers and let out a huge groan.
Oh . This is just GREAT.
What i dreamed up wasn't any nightmare. It was a wet dream.
*********
What nightmare did Key have that made him so tense? I couldnt help but worry about him as I went to the shoe store. I needed new sneakers. My old pair had worn out.
I was searching the aisles when i noticed a familiar face.
"Jonghyun Sunbaenim?"
The familiar face turned around and smiled. "Minho-goon! So good to see you!" He came over to hug me. "How have you been?"
"I've been well. How have you been, Sunbaenim?"
"Oh please, call me Sunbae. No need to speak to me formally. I'm just here to pick up shoes for Key. He needed new ones."
They must be really close. "How do you know Key?" I anxiously asked.
"I've known him for years. He moved to Seoul and we became friends."
"Where did he move from?"
He looked at me with puzzlement, and then smiled.
"Minho-goon~ if you wanna know you can just ask him."
I turned red in embarassment. "Sorry, I didnt realize I was being nosy."
He patted the side of my arm. "Don't be sorry. I get it. We all become curious like that. You never know what you're doing when you're in love."
I chuckled before I registered the last part. "Sorry, what did you say?"
He smiled back at me. "You dont have to pretend. I know you like Key."
My eyes widened. Before I could ask what the hell he was talking about he explained. "I've seen the way you look at him. The way your eyes light up when he talks. The way you smile when you're near him. That's exactly how I felt when I was in love."
I just stood there frozen. I cant believe it. Could I really be in love? With Key? Or at the least like him?
I shook my head as I denied what he said. "Even if I liked Key there's not much I can-"
"Look, Minho-goon," he interrupted. He softened his voice and squeezed my shoulder. "I'm not telling you to confess to him or not. That's your call. But you shouldn't deny your true feelings. It's only gonna hurt you if you lie to yourself."
I absorbed what he said as he looked at his watch and ran to purchase his shoes. "I gotta go. Got a wedding to plan."
"Sunbae? You plan weddings?"
"Just my own. Anyway see you around." And with that he was out the door. I laughed to myself. Glad to know he and Key weren't dating.
I stood there thinking about what to do next before the lady and the cashier asked if I needed help. I made my purchase and left.
On my way back to the dorm. I kept thinking about what Sunbae said. Is he right? Do I actually like Key?
Wait a minute. Even if I do like him, why am I so tense? Is it because he's a guy? I mean, so what if he's a guy? How's that different from liking a girl? Come to think of it, I didn't like seeing Key with either Nicole or Jonghyun Sunbae...
I realized it now. I like him. I. Like. Kim Kibum. I like him.
***********
"A WET DREAM!?" Nicole gasped. We were in the common room of our floor.
"Shhh!" I put my finger to my lips and scolded nervously. "Keep it down. I dont want the whole school to know."
"Mian~ but a," she whispered this time. "wet dream?"
I quickly admonished her. "Look, I didnt call you here to tell you my embarassing moments. I asked you to come for help. What do I do? What does this mean? I think this means something."
"Yah. You dont even need me here. You and I both know what this means."
"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.
She gave me that 'you know what i mean' look. Secretly I knew what she was talking about. I didnt want to hear it.
"Face it Key. We both know you like him."
Yep, that was it. I did not want to hear that out loud. I knew I made a mistake coming to Nicole. I tried to act as befuddled as possible. "WHAT!? Where did you get that from?"
"Key, stop it. It's not good to lie to yourself. C'mon. I see how you look at him and how your mood brightens when he'a around. And this 'dream' of yours only confirms it."
I hid my face behind my hands because deep down I knew she was right. I wanted to avoid it as much as I could but I didnt think I could.
"Kibum-ah?" I didnt answer. I was about to cry. "Kim Kibum! Say something."
At last I looked up. No tears yet. But they were coming. "It's true." Before she could ask me to clarify I spilled. "I like him. No, I really like him."
She smiled. "See? That wasnt so hard. You knew all this time but tried to deny it."
"Well who wouldnt? It's not everyday you like someone so much. And besides, what do I do know? Just because I like him doesnt mean he likes me back." I wanted so badly to cry again.
She put her arm around my shoulders. "Hey, don't cry. It's ok. Everyone feels that way when theyre in love." I looked up at her. Sure I liked Minho but I wasnt ready to use that 'L' word anytime soon. She continued, "Remember when you liked Soyeon?" I cringed at the sound of her name. "And you were too shy to tell her? But when you told her she said she liked you too?"
I rolled my eyes. "And we all know how that turned out."
"My point is this you dont have to be so afraid."
"How can I not be afraid?" I was frustrated at all of it. I was starting to yell. "I like a guy. He's not gonna like me back just because I like him. And what am I supposed to do? Just sit back quietly as he goes on all those dates with all those girls?! He's gonna think I'm CRAZY if I tell him anything! And even if he did like guys there's no way he's gonna like me. I'm not athletic. Or even that masculine."
I would've gone on but I didnt want to cry. I placed my hand on my forehead.
Nicole embraced me in a hug. "It's gonna be fine. Dont cry Key. Don't cry."
***********
I leaned back against the common room door. I was gonna cry. I ran back to the dorm before anyone saw me.
I couldnt believe what I had heard. Key likes me. He actually likes me. Glad to know I wasnt crazy.
By now I had accepted the fact that I like him. And now I know he likes me back. But why do I still feel uneasy?
What should I do? We like each other but he's scared. I'm scared. Perhaps I should give it some time?
Someone knocked on the door. I opened it to see a dismal Key whose eyes were red. He slowly walked inside before collapsing in the middle of the room and breaking out into tears. I ran over to him and asked why he was crying. He kept crying so I just wrapped my arms around him and rested his head on my shoulder to try to comfort him.
I decided not to say anything. I need some time to think about this. About what to do. About how to approach him.
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