An Awkward Talk
A New Kind of LoveFor our date we ate dinner at the mall. Our double date wasn't anything special but for once I actually liked it. Taemin even complimented my look for today and for giving effort towards the date. My date wasnt that bad either. She and I shared some laughs ate our meal. Still did not feel interested in going further but at least I enjoyed myself.
We were all laughing when from afar i noticed Kibum and a girl walking from the theater. Together. Laughing. Smiling.
I realized it was the same girl who approached Key earlier at phys ed. Probably his girlfriend, I thought.
I tried to brush it off and return to the double date but my mind was still stuck on Kibum and his datefor the rest of the date.
I took another quick look and I almost feel sorry for doing so. At that moment Kibum's mood changed from jovial and fun to down. Upset. Almost about to cry. I couldnt take my eyes off him, but I had to since it was soon time for us to go.
******
"How come you didn't cry!?" Nicole asked in between laughs. She was still drying up her tears that spilled over the 2~3 hours of the film. "You always cry when we watch this. This is literally the first time you didnt cry!"
"Yah, I've seen it before hundreds of times. I've cried enough." I told her. In reality I was trying - for once - to suppress my tears. I guessed she could tell I was lying because she stopped laughing suddenly.
"Oh Kibum-ah~" she put her arm around my shoulders. "It's my fault. I should not have brought you out here. After what happened between you and her-"
"No, don't say that" I softly scolded. "I still enjoyed it. I still liked seeing it with you. I just didn't want to cry again. You know I cried a lot after my girlfriend and I broke up."
"Hey, let's forget about that wench. Come on. Let's get some food."
We didnt talk about her after that. Thank God.
Back at the dorm Minho was sitting at his desk. He said hi as I went to wash my face.
"Where were you?" he asked.
"I was seeing a movie."
"With your girlfriend?" he asked abruptly.
I turned around and looked straight at him as I dried my face with a towel. "She's not my girlfriend." I sighed. "Her name's Nicole. We're just friends." Which by the way couldnt get more true than that. I honestly couldnt imagine dating Nicole.
"Oh, sorry. I saw u with her earlier in phys ed and thought-"
"It's fine. Really. This isn't the first time someone thought we were dating." I've been asked so many times I've gotten used to it. I guess people forget that guys and girls can be friends.
I went to lie down in bed. It was silent for about a minute when something caught my attention.
*********
"How did you know I was with Nicole?" he asked.
I hesitated and panicked for a second. Would he think it was creepy that I saw him?
I ultimately decided that I could just say I happened to see him. I walked over to my bed as I admitted, "I happened to see you two at the mall. On my date."
"Oh. I didn't see you there."
"I was at the café."
"Oh." He said and nothing more. That was close, I thought to myself as I plopped down on the bed.
Then, coming to a sort of realization, he finally asked slowly, "So if you knew I was there then why did you ask-"
"I forgot I saw you ok!?" I fired back, which i immediately regretted.
We were silent for a while as we got ready for bed.
After a while he asked, "So how was your date?"
"It went well." I mentioned before I could forget, "By the way, thanks for the makeup. My friend really liked it." I kinda chuckled in between. "He said my face glowed in the light."
"He!?" Kibum's eyes widened. "You were dating a guy?"
"No!" I laughed awkwardly before I elaborated. "He's my friend. He takes me on double dates with two other girls."
"Dates?" he questioned. "Sounds like you've been on lots of them."
"Well, yea. Not cuz I want to." I said that because I didnt want to come off as a player after having been on so many dates.
"What do you mean?"
After some hesitation, I spilled. "My friend takes me on all these double dates cuz he really wants a girlfriend. He takes me along because he thinks it will be awkward without me. He's done this so many times so by default I go on many dates."
"Oh." he said. He slowly walked over to me. "So... you're single then?"
I froze at this question. I can understand that he came to that realization. But Why would he ask that? In that way? Wasnt it kinda obvious? "Pretty much, yes."
Instead of dropping it, he went on. "Then why do you go on the dates?"
"I don't know." I answered with frustration. "I just don't wanna let him down. He's my friend and I dont like seeing him lonely. He's desperately in need of someone and I just go to give him guidance. That's all." I forgot to mention the free food I get since Taemin's always the one paying.
"But you dont like meeting these girls?" he asked inquisitively.
I thought a bit before answering. "I don't hate them necessarily. It just gets tiring after a while. Going on many dates with the same girls - or same type rather."
"Same type?" he asked perplexedly.
"He always sets me up with girls who 'like athletes.' All they do is compliment my looks and text to their friends how hot I am." I realized this could be interpretted as bragging, and I'm usually not one to brag. I rested my head against my hand. "It's just annoying how they don't really care about me. It's all about muscles for them."
"I think that's ridiculous. You're way more than just 'good looks.'"
I lifted my head and looked at him. This remark surprised me. I mean, sure we talked and had laughs here and there but other than that we barely new each other. What could he possibly say about me?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It's true. Everyone's like that. There's more to a person than just looks. Look at you for instance." He motioned towards me with his hands. "Sure you're handsome and all, but you're funny and charming as well and-" He paused, then continued, almost hesitantly, "I-I mean... I'm just saying... you know... a person isn't just an appearance."
I nodded in agreement. For a moment we were just staring at each other, before he looked away, said, stammering, "I need to go brush my teeth." and walked hastefully to the bathroom. I wanted to thank him for saying those things - for seeing me as more than an appearance, but I didnt have it in my gut to do so.
I lied down in bed, pondering over what just happened. What he just said about me before I drifted off to sleep.
********
I slammed the bathroom door shut and looked desperately in the mirror. Why did I HAVE to say all those things?? About him being handsome and charming and all. I even asked him about being single! Now he's gonna get the wrong idea and think weird stuff about me like I'm a or something...
Wait a minute. Why am I worried about what he will think about me? He's just another person. I'm not trying to impress anyone. So I said he has a good personality. That's a compliment. It's his fault if he interprets it weirdly.
Yea. It's not weird to compliment others. If anything, I was being nice to him. He should thank me.
With this thought in mind, I brushed my teeth with ease and went to bed. Minho had already fallen asleep but left himself uncovered. I went to spread his sheets over him well - after all, it was kinda chilly that night - before dropping to my bed.
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