21 October 2016 (Friday), 11.30 p.m.

Jinho : And I'm back! Thank you guys for waiting on me. You're all the coolest! I see more comments have flooded the chat. More questions... Assuming we'll only be able to answer six questions like before, we might just have to end the broadcast after our 12th question. Let's see how it goes. Are you guys ready? Here we go!

As I looked through the comments, I found a fun question.

[ Cyronx1 ] : If you were born again, would you want to be an idol?

I couldn't help but smile at the camera. I said it's fun, but it was also difficult to answer.

Jinho : Hmm... I mean if I could still sing, I'd still give it a go and try for an audition. No matter how tiring idol life might be, I think I would regret it if I had a chance to audition and didn't go for it. I might always think "Wow... my life could have been different if I went for it...". I don't want to blame myself for not trying. So, the answer is yes! I would be an idol again, because that's the dream!

I smiled as I looked at the next question.

[ drecoxz12 ] : Any idol you envy or look up to?

I immediately replied.

Jinho : It would be weird if I didn't! Let me think...

There are so many people I idolize. For example, Shinee, Infinite, Got7, and many more. I decided to choose the ones I've already met.

Jinho : I'll answer who I envy and who I look up to. I'm very jealous of Jackson. He is very funny and popular! I recently filmed with him on Weekly Idol and he was amazing. He's very nice too. Before I left, he gave me his number. He said to call him if I ever need help or advice on how to be funny on TV. So yeah... I'm jealous of Jackson. However, the person I look up to the most is not a guy, but a girl group member.

I leaned against my seat again. I sighed as I realized how tired I was. I guess talking about personal matters doesn't happen everyday for me.

Jinho : I think a lot of you guys know that I'm a TWICE fan. I feel like... I look up to Mina the most. I was so amazed by what she has achieved before becoming an idol. I'm not saying I want to be a dancer or ballerina like her, but I'm just astonished by all she has accomplished at such a young age. When I was young, all I did was play around. I never took professional singing or dancing lessons. I never lived my life like she did. That's why I look up to her. Sometimes, I even wonder how I got to where I am now.

My eyes were getting a little teary. I managed to hold myself back from crying.

Jinho : Ah I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get so emotional. It's just been really hard these days. I always do my best to make up for all the time I've wasted, but I feel like it's never enough. Do you guys understand what I'm trying to say?

Messages began to pour, saying they understood how I feel, telling me not to cry, and that I'm not alone.

Jinho : Haha thank you guys! That makes me feel a lot better. I'm glad to have all you guys supporting me and De1. Maybe we should think of a name for our fanbase soon... Let's go to the next question now.

I took a deep breath and calmed down. Let's get through this until the end!

[ elarcon ] : What's the most difficult thing about the idol life?

I took my time to think of an answer. I tried to recall what was the most difficult thing for me.

Jinho : Most idols would probably say lack of sleep or having very little private time, but I think I'll be speaking on behalf of foreign idols.

I took out my keychain and showed it on camera.

Jinho : This was my mother's. The hardest part about being an idol for me was that I couldn't spend a lot of time with her. I...

I turned from looking at the keychain to looking at the camera. When I saw my reflection on the lens, I realized I was crying. I quickly wiped it off with my hands.

Jinho : I'm very sorry, everyone! I