WARNING: Contains suicidal references

"But Chanyeol," Beakhyun whined as we walked up the stairs to the dorm, "That is obviously my hat!"

Chanyeol turned around to face Baekhyun and gave an evil grin, "But Baekhyun," He whined, impersonating Baekhyun, "It suits me better!"

Chen found this hilarious and was laughing along with Luhan, who was beside him as we climbed the stairs. I tried to smile, to show that I was 'okay', but the way Luhan kept looking over at me, I knew he knew that I wasn't okay. That I'm glad about, I absolute hate sharing how I feel, the way my dad brought me up thaught me that with showing emotion, comes more grief, so it's nailed into me now, and I can't get rid of it. But knowing someone else know my true feelings makes me feel glad because I don't have to admit it, I don't have to defy my unfortunate normlity.

"It's true Baek," Chen giggled, which earned him an annoyed looking glare from Baekhyun.

"Sehun, tell these idiots that I am the most beautiful looking person wearing this hat!" Baekhyun argued.

The others grinned at me, and I forcefully grin, "Hyung, if you were bubble tea, not even I would choose you."

A round of laughter spread among us and Baekhyun frowned. "You're all just jealous of my good-looks," He said, pushing open the dorm door.

"What good looks?" Chen asked as they all filtered through the door way.

I go to follow, already hearing Baekhyun consulting the others about his hat, but Luhan grips my hand and pulls me back. My heart beat quickens and my eyes widen. His light hair shone in the light cascading from the half open door, his eyes twinkled and I could tell he was reading my pain with them, and his hand squeezed mine once out of reasurance, making my breath go for a moment.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong Sehun?" He pondered quietly. "It's not like you to abandon bubble tea...or look so spooked."

I swallow, I have a feeling that I shouldn't tell him that it was my dad who had held the door open for us, it would make him worry even more for me, and I don't want that. So it almost breaks me to lie to him, but it shouldn't because I normally lie about how I feel.

I gave him a small smile, "Nothing is really wrong," I paused, thinking of an excuse. "I-I felta little light headed and wanted to come back and lie in bed...That's all," That sounds alright I think. "But getting some fresh air helped a bit, I'm better now."

Luhan raised his eyebrows at me and cupped my cheek with his left hand. "You go lie down in bed, I'm going to get you some noodle soup, because you know it has special healing qualities to make you better for dance practice tomorrow," Luhan said through a cute smile.

"Sure thing doctor," I supress with a laugh.

Luhan looks down at the floor, then back up at me, "Get a move on, you'll only get more ill if you stay here."

I give him a real smile, an