Hello readers, I am going to say sorry fro the previous chapter again. I am sorry of any of you now need help because of it :'D. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

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I prepared myself in the bathroom, still feeling my father's sick hands tracing lines all over my scarred skin. It was disturbing, what he did to me. I am now spoiled for anyone, even Violet. I am just like a flower, who has rotted away, no one wants that flower. People want the perfect untouched flowers.

I washed my face, and with that the tiredness and pain from last night. I hope I didn't upset Luhan when I regected his worry for me. Heck, he doesn't deserve how I treat him, he barely gets any sleep because of me, he worries over me, I scare him when I freak out, I should treat him better. I should just stop remebering, maybe it would be better it I just wasn't anywhere near him. He didn't need all this. But despite this, he stays. He stays and makes me calm, makes me smile, without him I would be as good as dead.

 I shrug on my training clothes and walk out the bathroom. Voices travelled down the hallway, mostly talking about food. I find myself smiling at the sense of normallness, something I haven't really felt much.

A few of the heads turn when I walk into the kitchen, wearing a half fake smile.

"Goodmorning hyungs," I said with a wave.

I heard voices mutter "goodmorning" back at me. I drag myself nect to a seat by Chen, who was having a heated conversation with Lay about how ducks have knees. I can't help but giggle at this conversation they were having, but then suddenly, Chen turned to me, a question on the tip of his tounge.

"Sehun, please tell Lay that ducks do actually have knees."

I shrug my shoulder, "I'm no expert on ducks, but I'm guessing they have knees."

Lay sighs and shovels another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. I pick up a piece of toast from the plate in the middle of the table. Luckily someone had already buttered it, saving me from the job. I bite hungarily into the crunchy toast, savouring the taste.

My eyes wonder around the room. I see Tao and Kris searching the cupboard for more food, Baekhyun directing them to a certain shelf. Suho was talking to Kai about a new dance, Xiumin sitting at the counter behind them. D.O was sat by himself in the lounge, reading a book, Chanyeol was eating happily at the left side of the table, and then my eyes land on Luhan.

He was sat at the end of the table, on the opposite side of the table, picking at his food slowly. His eyes were glued to me, like a worried parent. He gave me a small smile, hoping that some of that smile would end up on my face, and not this fake one I was wearing now. 

As hard as tried, I just couldn't supress a smile for him. I wanted to badly, but it was too hard. His eyes left mine, somehow making me feel upset. 

"Guys, we need to go, come on," Suho's voice said.

I raise up from my seat, and placed the plate in the sink, making a mental note to clean it later. I didn't let myself go to Luhan's s