“Are you sure you want to know?” Seungri ask hesitantly.

“I ask, didn’t I?” TOP’s curious expression didn’t change.

Seungri wonder himself why TOP choose this moment to ask. They were curled up together in bed, nake3d and exhausted. He was lying on his stomach and facing TOP with his hands slip under the pillow. TOP was lying on his back with his face close to him.

He suddenly know the answer to his question. TOP ask because he had finally lower his guard. Seungri’s stomach twist at the feeling. He was not going to repeat his mistake and talk about all his dreams, and he knows better when he is going to tell his deep, dark secret.

They been traveling to few countries for the past week. TOP has been so good and gentle to him. He don’t know when he start opening up to him. But it was strange; he didn’t regret about it. Maybe he start to realize that he could trust TOP. Just a bit.

“You don’t have to tell me,” TOP said in soft voice and turn his head to look at the ceiling.

Seungri did not realized that he had drag the moment too long with his thinking. “Sorry, I was trying to decide which mistake was the worst,” he said. “I have so many to choose from.”

He should never start this ritual of sharing something about them right before they fell asleep. Look at what it lead now...  

“My worst mistake …” Seungri suddenly feel cold wash over his skin. He look away and take a steady breath. “My worst mistake was probably my ex-boyfriend. He was our neighbour’s son.”

Seungri could feel the mood in the room change. TOP slowly turn his face to him but Seungri focus to look at TOP’s broad shoulders. He never tell anyone about Kwon Jiyong. It was his secret, his shame. Maybe it was wrong to share this part of his past with him.

“He was the wrong man to trust.” Seungri admit huskily.

“How long did it last?”

Seungri blink when he heard TOP’s question. His face and voice was so calm. Was that how he really feel or was he holding back so he would reveal more?

“About six months, before he dump me to further his study.” Seungri answer.

“If your uncle know about your secret affair …” TOP murmured.

Seungri shivered at the thought. “I was stupid.”

TOP reach out and rub his hand along Seungri’s bare arm. “You two a lover.”

Love him. He don’t know. By that time he was trapped in his uncle’s house, feeling miserable. When Jiyong promise he would take him away from his uncle, he was so desperate and believe him.”

“How did your cousin find out?”

“I’m not sure.” Seungri said. “At the end, he was taking a lot risks. So was I. I want to rebel.”

TOP frown. “He expose you to danger.”

“I don’t think that was his intention,” Seungri said. Maybe Jiyong was selfish, but Seungri never taught he will do something cruel like that. “We’ll be punished together if someone blow our secret.”

“You need to get out from your uncle’s house before he find out. Marriage was your only way out.”

“Yes.” Out from his uncle’s house. Out from that place. Out from that hell!

“You even willing to marry me.”

“OK enough about me. Now it’s your turn,” Seungri turn to TOP. “What was your biggest mistake?”

There was a long pause between them. Seungri want to make his body shrink because he know he had crossed the line.

“My first wedding,” TOP answer. “It was my biggest mistake.”

Seungri was surprise by TOP’s answer. “Why?” he dare to ask.

“I should never allow my emotions get me again,” TOP declare, his voice become hoarse.

What is he saying? But before Seungri get the answer, TOP suddenly roll on top of him. Seungri’s heart beat hard against his ribs as he feel TOP’s 3r3ction against his skin. TOP wrap his hands around Seungri’s wrists and hold his arms above his head. He lower his head and claimed Seungri’s mouth with his kiss. And Seungri’s pulse beat wildly as his body responded to TOP determined touch.