He never wanted to do this. To be used as someone who lured people in, made them trust him... only for him to go and betray them. He always remembered their faces whenever they found out what he had done. How he had used them and now they were finally meeting their end. It would haunt him to his grave. 

He didn't enjoy doing what he did 

But he had to do it 

It meant that nobody hurt his family and he got to go home alive.

Whenever somebody asked him about his life, he always had a story planned to tell them. It was a simple story, a believable story if you thought about it. What was stingy about a fifteen year old boy moving from China to Korea, having enough of his dad's controlling powers and running away to escape from the pressures? Everybody and anybody always believed him. Heck, some people were able to understand him on a more deeper level, having stories that were very similar to his! 

That was not his real story though. He couldn't tell people his real story, otherwise they would figure out that he was a fake all along. He couldn't risk it. No matter how many people he betrayed. He wanted to go back to his family alive. 

The real story is that he did grow up in China for the first fifteen years of his life. That much was true. The reality was that he didn't move to Korea with his parents. There wasn't any parents, just his dad after his mum died when he was just a child. There was no promotion for his dad because his dad was the freaking mayor of his hometown! There was no pushy father either, he was always supportive of his son no matter what decision he made. He was always one step behind him to pick him up when he fell. 

The only other true thing to his story was that he hasn't spoken to his dad for a while. Shortly before his sixteenth birthday, he was kidnapped. Turns out that the people who kidnapped him knew he was the mayor's son, threatening his dad that they would kill him if he didn't hand over a large sum of money before the week was up. 

Oh how his dad worked hard. He busted his off trying to get the money by the end of the week. He had already lost his wife, he didn't want to lose his son. Alas though... he was too late. His son was expecting death. Instead he was sold to someone up in Shanghai. It was there his first bits of work as a mole began. 

It wasn't hard. He was still a young boy. He could attract the attention of people and have them fall at his knee's because of how afraid he was, how fragile he was. All because he just wanted to go home. It wasn't bloody work, he was just promised freedom if he did as he was told. If he worked hard, he would go back to his dad. 

The working went from a month to three months, three months to a year, a year to a year and a half where one day he was chucked on a ship and sent to Korea where he first came into contact with Yunho and his gang. That was where it got bloody. 

His first targets were a group of fifteen men. It wasn't that difficult seeing as two of them were Chinese like he was. Seeing him as an afraid young lad in a foreign country, they took him in easily. It was there they taught him Korean, gave him their food, gave him their clothes. Only for him to throw it back at them when he finally handed them over to Yunho. He often dreams about their expressions when they found out that he had betrayed him. 

The second group only consisted of five men. They were relatively new to the business and therefore it didn't take long for Yunho to take care of them. One had barely managed to escape though and the last that was heard of him was that he was now living in some city in northern Japan. 

One more 

That's what Yunho always told him 

One more and then he would be on the first plane back to China where he would be reunited with his father 

Those countless times of betrayal, constant beatings if he was close to being discovered or if he did something wrong. It would all be worth something in the end. It would be worth it. 

By the time he was asked to go take care of Kris, Yunho was able to help him out long before they started tracking down Kris. Knowing some people, he was able to get his mole a job. Start from the bottom, get to the top and work in a chemist. A sound job, believable job. Throw in an apartment and all the mole had to do now was build up Kris' trust and reel him in ready for Yunho to make the attack. 

It was a lot harder this time though

The mole hadn't taken into account how Kris would be bringing in others. How young Jongin was, how fragile Sehun was, how tormented Baekhyun was of his past that it took him almost a year to get back to what he considered normal. They trusted him. They built up a friendship with him. They made him part of their family. 

He was able to act out the part of the devoting friend. The fragile foreigner. The hard worker. As time went on though, the feelings he was conveying towards them were genuine. 

He didn't want to do this anymore 

Stalling Yunho was easy. Throw him in the wrong direction, it earnt the mole a beating. At least it gave the others extra time on their lives. Convince Kris to move into his apartment so that they weren't out in the open, an exposed nerve for Yunho or the police to hunt down. Stop them from bringing back others, he couldn't risk anyone else being hurt in this when he had already done so much to others. He couldn't let his friends, his family, his everything at this moment die in his hands. 

He promised to himself that no matter what, Yunho was not going to hurt them. Even if he was hurt himself. Even if Kris and the others hated him for the rest of their lives. At least they got to live. 

People call him the perfect example of an employee. A perfect example of a hard worker. A perfect friend. 

Everyday he looks at himself in the mirror, traces his fingers over the numerous injuries Yunho has given him the previous few weeks, reminds himself of the guilty conscience that weighs him down everyday. He knows himself;

Zhang Yixing is far from perfect...