When we arrived at Jinri's flower shop, it was empty.

"Is it usually like this?" I asked her as I stared at the flowers all around us. 

It looked like heaven in here. You could tell the person taking care of these cares for them well. I kinda admire Jinri now for her dedication with these plants, as well as her staff for keeping all these orderly despite her being busy with me.

"They're usually here in the front desk being noisy, where could they be?" she said as she approaches the front desk.

I followed her and noticed a notebook lying on top of it, and my heart rate suddenly went up.

I looked at it, confused. Why did I reacted like that? What is wrong with me?

Jinri was busy calling someone on the phone, and I know it's rude to touch other people's belongings, but my curiosity got the best of me. I have to find out why I felt that way over a measly notebook.

I opened a random page. Inside looked like a journal entry. Well, more than that. It looked like a novel.

I froze. I know this handwriting all too well. I stared at the notebook even more, finally realizing what it is. Of course, I'd feel this way. Of course I'd know this. I was the one that bought this.

For her.

Suddenly, all those thoughts I keep pushing out of my head came back to me in a single blow. How much I hate this arranged marriage. How much I didn't want to obey that 's orders anymore. How much I wanna run away again, live my lif differently, simple but free.

How much I wanna find her, and make her love me again. Even if it means breaking my heart one more time.

I hate to admit this. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling vulnerable, because the last time I did, my mother died in my arms. And I wasn't able to save her. But for Soojung......

I gasped. I haven't even thought of her name in ages. Saying it in my head after the longest time..... it solidified my feelings. It made it true. I really still did love her.

I read a part of the paragraph she wrote and almost bursted into tears.

I think I’m ready to let you go. I know I never really had you in the first place but still, it’s the sentiment that counts. I had you in every way it could have mattered. I loved you, I wanted you. I would have torn myself apart to please you. I would have destroyed myself. So, see, it’s a good thing that I’m ready to let you go. Oh, how I wish that were true. You will always be my safe place. I could talk to you when the anxiety made it impossible to talk to anyone else. But now? When I look at you all I see are missed chances, and a string of almosts, maybes. I look at you and I see my ruin. It’s time to let go. I love you, goodbye. You’ll always be my almost.

I can't deal with this. I can't hide what I really feel forever. This is not me. And this is not the Jongin that Soojung loved.

It's time to be brave again. 

"Hey, so i was just infromed they're at the hospital, something happened and-"

"Which hospital?" I asked in panic. Jinri looked at me with shock evident on her face.

"Umm, Inha University Hospital, but why would you-"

"I have to go Jinri, I'm sorry." I said one last time and ran out.

Funny how much I've been hiding these feelings for years, masking them as anger and hatred, but one simple journal entry and my world is upside down again.

I just..... love her after all.

I looked and looked for her all day, but I couldn't find her. I was tired and heartbroken, and I still can't find her. What is she doing in the hospital anyway?

"Mr. Kim, there's some information on a patient named Jung Soojung who was just here in the ENT department. I can't disclose personal information to you, but I can talk to her doctor, are you somewhat of a family member to her?" one of the ladies in the front desk says as she approaches me.

ENT? What would she be doing there? I tried to think of a time wherein I might remember her sick, but I couldn't think of any. Except..... that time I was forcefully taken home, and Taemin......

Anger boiled from my system. Does Taemin knew anything about this except me? Does the know too? Now that I think about it, we never really talked about her again after that time. After her letter.

I went home immediately. I have to get out of this hell hole. I have to find Soojung.

"What are you doing?!" the says as he enters my room. I've just started packing and I moved hastily, just shoving every piece of clothing I can find in my luggage.

"Hey! I said what are you doing!" he approaches and shoves me away. When I was unresponsive, I felt a stinging sensation on the right side of my cheek. I fell to the floor from the impact.

"I thought you've finally come to your senses but you're still a worthless piece of crap! What do you think you're doing, when you're only days away from the public announcement of your engagement?!" he says, spitting his words harshly.

"Who said I'm getting engaged?" I retorted strongly. I stood up and wiped the blood that was trickling down my mouth and continued packing.

"What is wrong with you?!" he attempted to push me again, but I was fast to push him first.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SOOJUNG! WHY ARE YOU KEEPING HER AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed.

"Again with this girl! You're out of your damn mind, Jongin! It's been 3 years! And you're still hung up on some girl that doesn't even really love you!"

"You're lying! I know you did something to her! And I need to know what it is, because it's only her I will love! So guess what? I'm not attending your stupid wedding!"

I closed my luggage forcefully and briskly walked towards the door. Suddenly, guards outside started holding me by my arms and legs.

"What the ! Let me go!" I tried getting out of their grasp, but just like that fateful day when they forced me here, I wasn't strong enough.

"You really are testing my patience, Kim Jongin. This is how I know you will never level up to Taemin's intelligence. Taemin knows what's more important, and you only think about yourself."

He leaves the room and the guards pushed me onto the bed. That night, for the first time in forever, I was locked again inside my room. I didn't even try to break free anymore. I know my strength wouldn't be enough for this.

I just have to accept that I put myself in this situation. All because I let my anger the best of me. Stupid Jongin. You deserve this.

That midnight, I hear my door creaking open. My back turned and the lights off, I checked to see who it was, and came face to face with Taemin. I layed there, silent, staring at him.

Taemin opened the lights and stood there silently as well.

"Ooh, how badly I wanna hit you right now." I remarked, looking at him with such hate.

"Jongin, I'm sorry I couldn't do anything."

"No, you can. You just choose not to. You know why? Because you hate to admit you're working like that dog you are for that old evil man."

"You don't get to talk to my father like that anymore, Jongin. Not when you're in this house." he replied, looking angrier more than ever.

I was taken aback. Taemin never was this angry with me. That old man really has poisoned his brain hasn't he.

Still, I wasn't fazed.

"You can't intimidate me, Taemin. You have a lot of explaining to do." He looked questioning so I continued. "What do you know about Soojung that you're not telling me?"

The shock that registered in his face was fleeting, but I noticed it anyway.

"Look Jongin, I'm not in the position to tell you that."

"So you do know something about her? And you never even minded telling me for 3 years? You let me be consumed by my anger for her? Wow. And I thought you were different. You're selfish just like him."

"Will you please let me explain before you jump into conclusions like that! That's the same reason why you never knew anything about her for the last 3 years!" he screams at me. I glared at him even more.

"You're selfish, Taemin. I regret having done all these things for you."

Taemin opens the door and closes the lights. His silhouette shines from the door's opening. He looks back at me one last time.

"I never asked you to." he says finally, before closing the door behind him.

I thought a lot about the past incident that night. All I remembered was Taemin saying Soojung needs to be taken to the hospital, and then the guards dragged me out of the building. 

I thought about her letter. How she said she hates me to my guts. I re-read that letter over and over again until I've memorized it by heart. For 3 years, I've believed everything written into that piece of paper, not realizing one thing.

Soojung was too nice to say those words. Even if she did hated me, she'd never had phrased it in that way, as if to push me away.

I banged my fists on the table. How stupid of me to realize this only now. Only now when I read her journal. How wrong of me to let her suffer the past 3 years in her sickness alone. I wondered what her relations with Jinri are. Jinri is my last hope.

But the next day, I couldn't even go back to the flower shop. I couldn't even see Jinri.

"I've informed her that you will nit be meeting up until Saturday. Also, your bodyguards will be with you 24/7 for the next few days until the weekend, so don't you even try escaping and looking for that worthless girl. You're going to be married to Jinri, and that's final." he tells me in the morning.

I had no choice but to obey. I had no power in this house, the moment I accepted his offer. The moment I let myself into this mess, because I thought this was a better coping mechanism instead of finding Soojung and asking her where I went wrong.

I tried distracting myself with meetings, talking about the developments to be constructed by the government, etc. I hate it that I can't do anything, but I have to see her first, and to know the truth before jumping into any conclusions.

One thing is for sure. I love her. Only her.

Just like that, Saturday rolled by pretty quickly. I looked at the watch on my hand for the umpteenth time, hoping this party can be done and over with.

Jinri was still nowhere in sight, but a lot of prominent people have arrived at the venue, and even if I can't help it I feel nervous for some reason.

"These are big names, Jongin. Don't this up, and please work with us diligently." the says as he walks off to greet the owners of a famous car company who just arrived.

Taemin was across the room from me, looking at me with laser eyes. We are still at war, and I planned to keep it that way. I don't wanna even see his face again, not after betraying me like this.

The mc walks over to the podium and clears his throat. Everyone on their table looked up to him in wonder.

"Tonight is an important gathering for all of us. It is with great pleasure that our president is present tonight for an important announcement regarding his family. And may we all welcome, tonight's muse, Ms. Choi Jinri."

The big wooden doors opened, and beyond them revealed Jinri in a heavenly white dress, looking ethereal.

I fixed my bow tie and approached her, holding out my arm. She held onto it and we walked together towards the stage.

The reporters at the event were snapping pictures like crazy. I knew from that moment on, the whole South Korea would know of this nuptial, and maybe including Soojung, so I had to do it. Right now.

"Jinri, I have to talk to you." I told her quietly. She looked at me with questionable eyes.

As I was about to ask her, we were interrupted by the host.

"And now may we please ask Mr. Kim and Ms. Choi to start off this evening's gathering with a waltz."

I was taken aback, but the music already started, and Jinri was looking at me with expectant eyes.

I held out my hand and bowed. She took it and we started waltzing in the open floor in front of everyone.

The cameras around us shuttered like crazy. They must be marveling at this moment, but I am in my most uncomfortable state.

Suddenly, I hear Taemin's voice ringing through the microphone.

"It is with great honor that I present to you, my brother, Kim Jongin, and her soon to be wife, Choi Jinri. We look forward into this collective gathering between the two families, and I ask for all of your blessings and well wishes."

I furrowed my brows. I thought he was gonna help me get out of here till the end, I was wrong. I looked at Jinri and she had the most perplexed expression she could muster.

"What's going on Jongin?" she asks.

"I need to ask you something. About your friend." 

"What? Who?" 

"Soojung. Do you know her?"

The shock on her face was evident, and I knew I got her full attention.

"Can we get a kiss from the couple?" the host booms on the mic once again.

I was surprised as Jinri caresses my face. The shutters from the cameras around us grew louder, and I was conscious over the excessive attention.

Suddenly, she kisses me in the area near my lips. The people cheered for the both of us. I looked over at her and she had the widest smile on her face.

My eyes swam over the sea of people around us, and my eyes caught attention over someone.

She also had her eyes wide as she stared at me from across the room.

I looked over to Taemin onstage and also saw him looking towards Soojung's direction, like he also didn't expect to see her here.

I marveled into her appearance. It's been a while since I've seen her, but she still looks as beautiful as she was when I last saw her. The long red hair was gorgeous, but her new short, black hair was attractive as well. She also looked thinner, and I worried for her health. I have to see her. I have to talk to her.

I was snapped back into reality when she turned to her heels and started running out of the venue. I let go of my hold on Jinri and started running towards her direction.

"Jongin!" Taemin's voice booms through the mic. I stopped at my tracks, just by the door. "Don't do this."

I chuckled at his desperate tone, looking back at him with a smirk. The shutters have since grown louder, both focused on me and on a confused Jinri in the middle of the dancefloor.

"Your father was right, Taem. I will never be like you." I said, not even minding that everyone in this room can hear me now.

"Because unlike you, I am brave enough to go after what I actually want."

And with that, I ran out of the hall, towards the girl I truly loved.