Intuition: the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

That was what I felt while I was holding Soojung's hand. It's like after our skins touched, my eyes opened and I knew what she's feeling. And that made me realize a lot of things too. It made me realize why I was running away from my own feelings.

I was avoiding that feeling of love, I didn't want to fall in love with Soojung because I was afraid to be left alone again, after everything that happened to me, I was afraid to love too much and get disappointed in the end, because that's what I tend to do. I love too much and never spare any for myself.

I know she's mad at me for something I didn't know I did, and I was determined to know it, because I want to apologize, and I want to tell her what I feel, but she kept pushing me away, and it's pointless to just get it out of her. She's wrong for doing that, and it makes me angry.

Out of all the months that I've known her, I've memorized her emotions, her mannerisms, her everything that I don't even recognize it. That's why when I sensed she was crying, I had no other choice but to just express what I feel. Even if she's wrong, if I see her cry, everything turns different. I know I'm already the one at fault.

I can't take seeing her crying, because if she's hurting I'm hurt too. No matter how much I push the feeling away, no matter how much I avoid it

I love Soojung. Maybe this isn't love yet, maybe it hasn't reached to the level of love yet, but I know I want her in my life and I'd die if she left me and kept avoiding me.

So I kissed her, and poured all the hidden emotions I had through that kiss, hoping that maybe she'd understand, that she'd know that even though I never said it, I mean it, and that I don't want her anywhere else other than with me.

"It hurts so much already...... That I can't tell you what I feel....... That I see you happy with someone else, but please...... Know that no matter what, I like you, and you alone....." I whispered after breaking our kiss.

As if on cue, we heard Kyungsoo's voice from a distance.

"Jongin!!!!! Where are you!!!"

I let Soojung go and tried to scream with all my might!

"Kyungsoo! Here! Soojung and I fell on a hole! Help us out!"

After a while, Kyungsoo came back with Taemin and a bunch of people who helped us get out of the well. I looked over to Soojung, and her eyes were still at me, she was staring at me hard with a serious expression as Taemin wrapped a towel around her and hugged her tight, kissing her hair.

That gesture definitely made me jealous, but now that Soojung knows my feelings, I feel somewhat relieved, because I know that she feels the same way about me. I know that she's with Taemin now, and it's okay, because I love her, and for me, that's all that matters.

"Jongin." Taemin calls beside me as I was about to go to sleep that night. Kyungsoo was already snoring like a pig beside me, which pissed me off even more.

"What? I thought you're already asleep."

"I just wanna let you know one thing." he said seriously, and although I can't see his face, I could already imagine his gaze at me.

"I like Soojung. Hell, I love her." he said without hesitations. "I love her as much as I love you."

I cleared my throat, trying not to sound uncomfortable.

"So? She's already yours, why do you need to tell me this."

"I want to marry her. Before my father decides to arrange a marriage for me with some random girl I know I'll never like. Rich people, they're all so full of themselves, I hate those kind of people. I like people like Soojung."

At this point, I was trying to control my emotions. When he said he wanted to marry Soojung, I swear I almost wanna punch him.

"What's your point?"

"I want you to help me. Help me make her love me. You know me well, tell her how nice and great I am. And when she finally returns the feelings I have for her, I'll marry her right away. You'll help me right, Jongin? You're my brother."

I stayed silent. Loving Soojung without Taemin knowing was hard enough, and now he wants me to help him get Soojung? I pretended to sleep so I wouldn't be forced to say yes or no. Taemin clicks his tongue and turns away from me.

His words never left my mind until the next morning, until we got home, until I'm sitting at the foot of my bed, staring in the empty wall in front of me.

I know Taemin. I know there had been a time when there was something we both wanted. Back then, I always let him have it, even if I obviously want it more than him, because that one time I refused, he almost died.

It was a bike we shared, and I wouldn't let him ride it longer because it was unfair, the bike was both ours. He decided to ride the huge mountain bike my father owned so we both could ride  bike in the open road. Only, it wasn't an open road.

Because the bike was so big, he couldn't get off of it easily. He drove towards the open road without waiting for me, and a huge truck almost hit him. If that truck didn't hit the brakes at the right time, Taemin wouldn't be here right now.

I received a huge punishment because of that, having nothing to eat for three days except a loaf of bread and a small carton of milk.

Would that happen again, if I won't give Soojung up to him? I don't know, but right now, I don't care anymore. Soojung is someone I care about. It's about time I have what's deserving to be mine.

There was a knock on my door that breaks my thoughts, and I ran hurriedly towards it, and I was surprised to see Soojung standing outside, a notebook and pen on both hands. It looked new, the old notebook must've been full of notes now.

"Hi." I said awkwardly. She looks everywhere but me, and it adds more to the tension that's already surrounding us.

"Hi. So uh..... the story, I need to material, new inspirations so....."

I let her in. She sits on the sofa, glancing at my walls.

"It's sky blue now......"

"Yeah..... You told me they were boring so I...... saved money to buy paint."

"You really did that? Because I told you your walls were boring?" she looks flustered. I nodded in response, awkwardly touching the back of my neck.

"You have an influence..... And you kept picking on my poor walls."

She chuckles, and it's the most beautiful sound I ever heard. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I think this is what being in love makes you do.

We began conversing with each other involving her story, with her asking more about my life and me willingly telling her everything she doesn't know. I'm not gonna be afraid anymore, I want her to know the real me. But I guess I haven't told her everything about me yet.

"Well that was...... a lot. I remember when the first time we met, you look unsure about telling me about your life. Now you just went and spilled everything. And really? Jjangoo?"

"Hey don't tease the horse's name, I loved him like he was part of the family."

"You know..... I've always wondered why you never talk about your family. Like, I mean I get it, you already told me the bad things, but aren't there any good things at all? How come you never tell me anything positive?"

I looked at her, hesitant to answer her question. She seem to have noticed my uncomfortable expression, so she looks away and stutters.

"I'm sorry, that must've been a sensitive topic, I shouldn't have as---"

"No no, don't be sorry. Maybe...... maybe I'm not ready to talk about them yet. Believe me, Soojung, I'm trying my best for you to get to know me better, so you could see how honest I am, and how honest I was that night when I said those things to you."

She looks at me once again, her expression soft.

"You don't have to prove anything, really."

"But I want to. Because I want you."

I notice a blush creeping up her face and I felt my own cheeks getting hot.

"I should....... probably go. It's late, you should rest." she said after a while. She stands up and heads to the door, but before she could leave I ran to her and hugged her from behind.

"Jongin, what----"

"Shhh. Let's just stay like this for a while. I like it."

It was quiet for a few seconds, the only sound are our shallow breaths and my own heartbeat beating wildly on my chest.

"Do you like me, Soojung?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"I just wanna hear it again." I turned her around so she faces me, and she bows her head, refusing to make eye contact. "Say you like me again."

"No."

I pouted, but slowly moved closer to her. Before she can do anything more, I pressed my lips against hers, tasting her again. Her lips still felt like the last time, and as I kiss her, my feeling grow even more.

"I like you. A lot." I whispered and kissed her again.

For now, I'll just enjoy this moment. For now, I won't care of anything else. For now, I'll love her like I've never loved anyone before.

a/n: I'm back after a month! I hope people are still anticipating for an update, I kinda became rusty because of such a long time of not updating so this is all I can offer now. It was hard to update whenever I think about another member in exo leaving, it was complete hell from me when wyf left. Thankfully, everything is fine now and I finally got a grip again. I'll try to update this as soon as possible, and as soon as I think of a good scenario. You said finally Soojung and Jongin can be together? WRONG! I'm gonna torment you guys more mwahahahaha! Thanks for reading! PDC is back in business.