Nobody understood why Kyungsoo did what he did. Not even I, or Jongin, or his own parents. Not even Sooyeon, whom he last talked to.

"Soojung why are you taking so long in the bathroom!" Jongin's voice echoes from outside.

I chuckled and put the contents of my little brown box back inside, closing it gently and hiding it under the sink. Jongin still doesn't know I kept everything.

"Okay, that's it I'm coming inside I don't care if you're some world famous writer, you can't give me attitude like this!" Jongin's voice grew as he slams the door open, seeing me sitting on the bathroom floor. He rushed to me and held me between his arms. "Are you okay? Did you faint?"

"I'm okay Jongin. Don't worry. I was putting something in the cabinets under the sink." I replied and gently his arm. He sighed in relief and helped me up.

"Don't scare me like that. I'm still not used to seeing you so healthy."

"It's been 5 years, Jongin, let it go."

"I can't. I just can't."

Sensing the the mood was turning gray, I gave him a kiss on the lips and smiled. He looked back at me and the corners of his lips started lifting.

"You really make me the happiest with your little quirks, Jung Soojung."

"That's what I'm here for. As your wife. And the mother of your child."

"My child, who by the way is drenched in milk and cereals right now, and so I need to wash her here." he replies. I widened my eyes and hit him in the shoulder.

"Kim Jongin I told you to stop playing food wars with Youngmi!"

"But she started throwing cereals at me!"

I massaged my head that was starting to ache. "I'll get her here, you ready the bath!"

"Aye, aye, my beaitiful, intelligent, and responsible wife!" Jongin replies as he does a salute. I rolled my eyes and started walking out.

"Hey, Soojung?" he says before I could even get out the door.

I turned around in annoyance and found something between his fingers.

"I miss Kyungsoo too. Everyday. But if there's one thing I will always be to him, is grateful. If you still think about it, and still blame yourself for it, know that he did it because he loves you, so much, as much as I do. You don't have to go through it alone. If you have to cry it out, cry. And I will cry with you. Okay? Take care of those eyes. They came from a wonderful person, and a wonderful friend." he says, waving Kyungsoo's donor card.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. At that moment, a wave of comfort suddenly hit me. And right then, I knew, this has always been where I will belong.

"Thank you for loving me like this all this time. All of you."

Maybe I've always been lucky all along.

~

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has been with this fic since it came out in 2014! After 4 years, finally, I'm closing this fic. It has been a journey, I almost gave up on this too, but I wanted to finish this with the intent of fulfillment. And I finally did! I know, the ending may be unclear for some, but that's what's so great about it, you get to imagine your own version of Soojung and Jongin's love story! Again, I am so thankful to everyone who is reading, will read, and has read this fic. I'm not the best writer, but Pas de Chance is one of my works that I know I'll always be proud of. From here on out, I'll also announce my retirement from aff. It has been fun writing imaginary stories between my favorite people in the kpop idol world for how many years, but now I'm moving to better things ahead. I won't delete any of my stories, nor my account, and will still visit from time to time. And maybe if I feel like it, I'll start writing a one shot again or two, but for now this is goodbye~ 

This has been dreampuffs, and as always, Kaistal will live on. ❤️

ps: you can find me on twitter, @jan26baby!