My hands were shaking as I entered the restaurant. I can't believe I agreed to this.

Ever since Kyungsoo and I saw each other yesterday, we've exchanged numbers and have been talking nonstop, updating each other with our lives.

He's actually the son of a really famous entertainment company, and was trying to keep it lowkey because he didn't want people to assume his status.

Oh, and he's now a famous idol too. From that same company. Figures why he needs to keep his identity a secret.

He basically got me into this meetup. I've tried to reject, but he looked so desperate. 

"I really think you should meet up with Taemin and I. He was so surprised when I told him I saw you. He had been looking for you all along. How come he never found you?"

I sighed. I wonder that too, coming from a man who manages an entire country.

The place looked pristine, it seems like only the richest people can enter here. I was fortunate enough to be picked up by Kyungsoo's driver, but I think all this lavishness really isn't for me.

The lady by the door asked for my name, then led me into a long hallway. There was a door by the end of it, and she told me someone was waiting for me inside.

I gulped as she walks away, wondering if I should enter or not. A lot of questions ran through my head.

Did I really think this through? Is what I'm doing the right thing?

At the end of it all, I didn't think it was fair for me to let go of my friendship with Kyungsoo and Taemin. They deserve to know the truth at least. And maybe tonight I'll tell them.

I turned the knob and opened the door slowly, making its creaking noises rattle me even more.

I wasn't even close to opening the door halfway when it busted open, and in front revealed a very surprised, almost near to tears Taemin, with Kyungsoo behind him sitting on one of the chairs.

"Oh Soojung." that was all he said before he wrapped his arms around me, sighing deep.

I took on his scent, and sighed in relief as well. I thought he'd hate me for what I did, but all this time he was looking for me too.

I hugged him back and let him know how much I've missed him as well.

We were like that for a few minutes before Kyungsoo cleared his throat.

"Soojung! You're just in time!" he said cheerfully, pulling me out of Taemin's embrace and dragging me towards one of the chairs.

The view in front of me was just spectacular. The food on the table could feed almost 50 people, with every kind of main course, salad, and dessert laid on it.

There weren't any windows, probably for protection, but the room was well lit and wide, with a feeling of openness to it.

"They just served the food. You didn't know how dizzy I was as they started entering these dishes one by one. Taemin really is THAT guy, huh?" Kyungsoo joked, lightening the mood.

I chuckled and glanced at Taemin, and he looks relieved that I wasn't awkward with anything.

"Thank you, Taem, you really didn't have to."

"No, you deserve this. I missed you. A whole lot. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

I was perplexed. Does he still have feelings for me? After all those years?

Kyungsoo smiled at us smugly but didn't say anything.

"I think you all deserve an explanation." I said when we finished our meal.

They both looked at me but didn't say a word, so I continued.

"Kyungsoo, I'm sorry that I had to hid this from you for the longest time. I know the last time you've seen me, I was a mess, and I think you need to know why, and why I left."

I looked over to Taemin for support, and he nodded his head in reply.

"I'm sick, Kyungsoo. I have glaucoma."

The shock was evident on his face, but he didn't say a word.

"I was just at the doctors yesterday, and they told me there wouldn't be much time left till I......."

I suddenly found it hard to speak. I always said I'd accept my fate as it is, but truth be told, it scared me, thinking it might happen anytime soon. Not when I already have a motivation to see the beauty of life.

Not when I have the motivation to fight.

Kyungsoo looks at me with the saddest expression, and I was surprised when he started tearing up.

"Soojung I...... I didn't know you were going through so much. I always see you so happy, always so positive..... How..... how did this happen?"

"Beforr I left San Diego, I was already experiencing symptoms. I was always so dizzy, always had headaches, and blurry visions. I thought it was just because I'm having problems with my eyesight but...... I didn't think it would be this worse. It was hard, painful, to look at the faces of my parents as they struggled to take in all of that's happening. I didn't wanna burden them anymore. So I left. With the money that should've been for my transplant. I know, that was a move, but I just didn't wanna do the treatment anymore. I'm anemic, and if I did go on with the operation, there's a 50% chance of survival. I didn't want them to have to go through that, only to be crushed in the end in case....."

I stopped to catch my breath. I didn't know I was already crying. Taemin also was, and the dinner we had now tasted sour in my mouth. I just wanted to throw it all up. I gulped and continued.

"Anyway, it's okay to be blind. At least I'd never be able to see how ugly life is. How bad people really are, how society can be judgemental and how people can make you feel like you're the worst person to ever exist, and put the world's weight on your shoulders. Yes, everybody goes through something, but you can also get through everything. Because you're strong. But this, this is something inevitable. This is something I cannot get out of, so it was better to just accept it as it is."

I laughed at how weak I sound right now. This was not the Soojung I promised to be when I arrived here in Korea.

"But then...... I met him. And it's so stupid to find perfection in someone, because no one is perfect, and he's definitely not someone you'd like when you first meet him but...... to me, he will always mean so much. Too much."

Kyungsoo puts his hands on top of mine. How heavy his heart must feel, knowing about all of this in one single blow tonight.

"But I think it was selfish of me to project my idea of perfection with him. He didn't deserve that pressure I put on him. And when he fell in love with me, that's when I realized he didn't need this too. He didn't need to put up with a sick girl like me."

"But he loved you, Soojung. He's someone who has obtained a black hole in his heart, that prevents him from trusting anyone, but he loved you in his purest form, and I've never seen him like that to anyone, except his mom." Taemin said.

"I know that, Taemin. And you know the worst part? I love him just as much, I love him too much to let him become a part of my messy life."

The aura in the room was gloomy, and nothing was heard except the faint hum the airconditioner gave.

We were all silent for a while, taking in with all the information. I'm sure this surprise Taemin as well, he didn't know half of this story. He deserves to know the truth.

We were all interrupted by a knock on the door. It was the lady that assisted me earlier.

"Mr. Lee, Mr. Jongin is outside with his fiancee, and would like to formally introduce her to you. Should I let them in?"

Panic rises from my system. Now I really feel like throwing up. My ears turned red and I feel a panic attack coming.

Kyungsoo and Taemin weren't prepared either. Kyungsoo was in shambles, his eyes shaking vividly, and Taemin didn't know of he was gonna keep sitting or standing up.

It would've been rude for Taemin to not invite them in, even for just a small chat, but I don't think I'm ready to see him yet. Not when I'm in this state. Not when I'm vulnerable.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo stood up.

"Soojung, wrap this around your head." he said as he takes off his coat.

I was confused, but did as he said.

"Now, on the count of three, we will make a mad dash outside okay? I've already informed my driver, he's waiting for us byvthe entrance. Just bow your head and hold my hand, and run as fast as you can."

"Wait what???? How is gonna work????" I said a little too loud, panic evident in my voice.

"Okay so do you either do that or come face to face with Jongin and his stupid fiancee?" Kyungsoo retorted, panicked as well.

I realized he does have a point and took a deep breath. I looked over to Taemin and ran up to him to hug him one last time.

"I'm sorry about this, I didn't know he'd be here." he whispered in my hair.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I had a good dinner, and I saw you again. And I will see you again soon. I'm not hiding from you anymore." I said in reply.

He lets go of me and kisses my cheek, which eased me up a little bit. Why did I ever think I won't trust Taemin enough to hide from him as well.

I held onto Kyungsoo's hand and wrapped his coat tightly onto my head. In three counts, we started running out of the room, into the long hallway.

I didn't really see anything as my head was bowed, but I did hear Jongin calling Kyungsoo's name.

"Hey, where are you going!" he screams, a voice that I know so much.

I missed that voice.

"Sorry gotta run friend kinda has a stomach ache text you later bye!" Kyungsoo replied while running, not even having a moment to breath.

When we got into the car, the driver sped out of the restaurant pretty quickly, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"That was exhiliarating! One of the most exciting things I've ever done in my life!" Kyungsoo says excitedly, a smile evident on his face.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed my panic attack." I replied, still heaving pretty badly.

A flashback came into my head.

"Hey, listen to me. If you're scared, or lost or whatever, do as I say. You count from 1 to 10. Okay? Count."

I started counting slowly. My heart beat started calming down, but the sinking feeling in my stomach never left. How can he still calm me so much when all I did was leave him?

"I'm sorry for looking like I enjoyed it." Kyungsoo said sadly.

I smiled at him and held his hand.

"I didn't mean it that way. You're my friend, and you're also someone I trust now. Thank you for saving me tonight, Kyungsoo. How could I ever repay you?"

A sly smile curved up his lips.

"Maybe start by meeting up with us whenever you can?" he said hopingly.

I laughed. He's too adorable.

"That's such an easy request." I said, my grip on his hand tightening.