It's been two weeks and everything's going pretty well between Jongin and I. So well, that in fact, I'm starting to like it. It wasn't like I didn't love him, I do, it's just that everything happened so quickly that I didn't know how to react.

"Good night." Jongin said as I walk him to the door. We had just finished washing the dishes and it was getting pretty late.

"Good night. Thanks for the dinner, you're still the best cook."

"I know. That's why you liked me right?"

"Hey!" I playfully slapped his arm. He chuckled, and before I could react, he placed a quick peck on my lips.

"Sweet dreams." he said softly and retreated to his apartment.

As I closed the door, I can't help but blush a bit. Jongin has been doing that ever since I confessed, and it makes me feel a mixture of emotions.

I haven't actually told him directly that I loved him. The last time I did that, we were in the hole, and it was a spurt of the moment because I was frustrated and angry and hurt.

But now that he actually feels the same way, I just can't seem to say it to him again. It's so awkward, and the fact that he's with Kyungsoo now just adds more to it. I may like him more than Kyungsoo ever will, but I'm not a boyfriend stealer.

But this won't stop me from loving him. Maybe one day...... I'd get to tell him my feelings. I smile at the thought, and was about to go to bed when my cellphone rang. 

An unknown number was flashing on the screen. Hesitant, I pressed answer.

"Hello?"

"Oh my god Jung Soojung!"

I tried to figure out who the voice belonged to. When I did though, I was speechless.

"How...... did you know my number?"

"You know me, I have connections. Tell me why you got a phone only now? Do you know how worried I was of you?"

"I'm sorry, buying a phone was the least of my problems when I got here..... How are you? How's...... them?"

I heard a sigh from the other line. "They're terrible. They've been so depressed ever since...."

"I know..... It's my fault. But I promise, as soon as I'm done, I'll let you guys know where I am."

"Okay, but Soojung just...... Be careful. You're fragile, you know that. There isn't much time till your eyesight goes worse, you should take care of yourself."

"I will. I love you. I love all of you."

"We love you too. I gotta go, my break is almost over."

I hang up and saved the number with the name "Sooyeon" and got ready for bed. It wasn't easy to fall asleep though, with lots of thoughts running in your head.

My sister's phone call made me think of a lot of things. On why I left, on who I left behind, on what my future holds. I don't know if there's still a way to save me. But I'm still glad Jongin's there.

Taemin visited me the next day. He was still worried sick of me because of the well accident.

"I told you I'm fine." I said as I sat him down on the sofa. He'd been following me around the house ever since he got here, and it's driving me insane.

"I just don't want you hurt, Soojung. You're special to me."

"Your cheesiness will be enough to kill me, Taemin."

"No, I'm not being cheesy." he said as he stands up. He walks near me and holds onto my hand, it gently. "You're special to me."

At this point I wasn't sure on how to react anymore. I had been bothered since last night when Sooyeon called, and now here I am face to face with Taemin as he suddenly blurts out his feelings.

I was lost in my train of thoughts when Taemin suddenly hugs me. I was enveloped with his warmth, and somehow I felt comfort in it. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him as well. His embrace was so comforting, and it made me get rid of all the troubled thoughts I've had since I woke up this morning.

"Oh."

I let go of Taemin at the sound of the voice and turned toward the door to see Jongin staring at us, and his expression wasn't really looking good.

"Jongin! I'm sorry you...... had to see that." Taemin said awkwardly. He looked over at me and slung an arm on my shoulder. "Soojung and I have been talking about pretty deep stuff."

"Like how special she is to you?" Jongin asked, and his voice was dripping of ice. He looks over at me and I couldn't look away from his piercing gaze.

"Have you been eavesdropping the whole time?" Taemin asks. Jongin's cold gaze on me changes with a look of indifference as he looks over to Taemin, as if he doesn't care about what he heard anymore.

"I just happened to be here the moment you confessed your feelings. I should get going then, don't wanna spoil your lovely time."

There was a sarcastic grin spreading across Jongin's face and it's seriously pissing me off. Can he just stop pretending he's okay just once?

"Jongin!" I called to him unconciously as he was about to leave. He turns his head slightly to indicate he was listening, but he never looked directly into my eyes, and that saddened me even more.

"Is everything okay between the two of you?" Taemin whispers to me. I shrugged and looked back at Jongin.

"I---"

"Everything I said, disregard all of it. It doesn't matter anymore." and with that, he left.

"What..... was that all about?" Taemin asked after a moment of silence. I was still staring at the door, at where Jongin was previously standing, my heart filled with confused feelings.

What is wrong with you, Jongin? You are so confusing.......

Taemin stayed a little longer, and he and I talked about the elections and how everyone was rooting for him and how he wished I would be there with him to support him.

But my mind was somewhere else. No matter what I do, Jongin's words kept echoing in my mind. It was just yesterday, we were so happy.........

When Taemin left, I immediately banged on Jongin's door.

"Jongin open this door or I swear to god I will break this down!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I didn't even care if I was making a scene anymore, Jongin has got to stop PMS-ing.

Jongin hurriedly opened the door and pulled me in, making me yelp. He gripped into my arm hard, which made me wince, but I didn't care about the pain anymore. I want answers.

"What the hell was that?" I asked as soon as we were sitting on the sofa. He was beside me, staring at the television as it drones on and on about korean celebrities.

"What do you mean?" he retorted, his voice cold. This wasn't the Jongin I was with yesterday.

"The things you said earlier What was that all about?"

"Maybe it's best if we don't continue with this anymore." he said.

"Continue with what?" I am so confused. Why is he being like this.

I was shocked when Jongin threw the remote control across the room. He stood up and paced around the living room.

"See?! You don't even know what we are right now! Has my feelings for you been one sided all along? Did you just said you loved me for the heck of it?!"

"What? No......"

"Then why don't you say it again! Now that I'm telling you I like you back, you refuse! What is it that you really want?!"

I don't understand why Jongin is screaming at me right now. Where is all this anger coming from?

"What's your problem Jongin?"

"My problem is you! Because obviously, you're just playing with my feelings right now. You're taking advantage of me because I'm vulnerable, right? Because you know I like you back?"

"What are you even saying?! Why would I do that to you?"

"Maybe it's better if we can't be together. Because obviously, only I feel something towards you." he said firmly, pushing me out. He slams the door in my face, leaving me in awe.

What is happening to him? Jongin, you're so confusing.

a/n: what's jongin's problem jesus. ayyyy thank you so much for the 3000+ views I'm not even that good of a writer but really thank you sooooooooooo much! I'll try to update better I don't even know where this is going at this point maybe I'm high we will never know. Thanks for reading!