I woke up feeling awful. I noticed I was still in my gown, and I have a very obvious bandage on my ankle. As I saw Taemin sleeping on the couch beside the bed, I realized about what happened before and almost immediately, my tears started falling.

I remembered how I ran after seeing Kyungsoo and Jongin kissing, and falling in the middle of everyone. The events after that were a little vague, because I was already crying uncontrollably. I do remember Taemin running up beside me, a worried look on his face.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" he asked as he checks on my ankle. I winced as he touched it slightly.

"Just..... take me away from here. I don't wanna be here anymore." I said shakily. I was too weak to function, and it's not just because of my injury, but because of my broken heart.

Taemin lifts me up, and the people's whispers grew louder, making me feel conscious. But at that moment, I don't care anymore, I just want to get the hell out of that place.

As we were walking out, I saw Jongin, his eyes fixated on Taemin. He turns to me, and I feel like I was being stabbed a million times. I didn't even wanna see him, so I turned away.

"No! Don't follow. Go away." I tried my best saying. 

I hate myself. Why did I have to fall in love with him? It's so stupid, I feel so stupid for thinking that maybe he feels the same way. He was always so nice to me, he makes me feel special, but...... I should've known.

I should've known that Kyungsoo has always been the one who's more important to him than me. So if he doesn't want me anymore, then it's okay. I don't want him as well.

It's so much easier said than done though. And I don't think I'll be able to move on from loving him with the fact that we live right next to each other.

The same foot that was badly injured when Jongin and I went up the mountain was the one that got twisted from last night's party. And this time, it was twice more painful, because not only do I have a broken ankle, I also have a broken heart.

I cried all night. Even after the doctors have managed to treat my sprain, the tears won't stop falling. Maybe because when I finally realized I was starting to like someone, when I finally realized that there's someone who's give me encouragement to move on and live my life normally, that person just...... loves someone else.

The worst part of it was, before I met Jongin, I was determined of what I was about to do. I had everything planned out. When I finished writing the book, I'd get blind, and then I'd refuse any type of surgery. I've accepted my fate, I've accepted that in a few months or years I won't ever be normal anymore.

But Jongin made me believe that I could see again, that I could be able to see the world as it changes over time. He made me want to see again.

Taemin hasn't left since last night. He always comforted me, and always asked me what was wrong, but I don't know what to answer. I'm just so confused right now.

I saw him stirring and immediately wiped the tears that are freely falling down my face. He notices them anyway as he approached my bed.

"Can you please tell me what is going on?" he asks calmly. I refused to make eye contact. I didn't want him to see me like this. I've always been known as that cheerful person.

I heard him sigh and got shocked as he held onto my hand. I felt him kissing it, and somehow I felt relieved. I felt so relieved that Taemin's there with me.

I wished Taemin was the one that I liked instead of Jongin. Maybe everything would've been better.

"It pains me to see you like this. I know these tears isn't just about your ankle anymore. Please...... I deserve to know that truth."

I turned to him and saw him staring at me intently, his eyes starting to glisten.

"Why do you look like you're about to cry?" I frowned as I squeezed his hand a bit. "I'm okay, it's probably because of the sprain. It still hurts like hell. I think I broke a bone." And a heart.

Taemin sighs, knowing he can't get any answers from me.

"I'll just get your breakfast for you. I'll be back." he says and as he leaves the room, I let the tears fall freely again.

I groaned in frustration. I must look really stupid right now. I know too much crying is bad for my eyes, the doctor specifically said that, but I can't help it. Maybe I do love him so much, and now when I finally realized it, he's....... 

My thought trailed off when I heard the door opening. I didn't get the chance to wipe my tears as I saw Jongin entering, a basket of fruits on one hand.

Suddenly, it's like I felt heavy in my chest again. I figured it wasn't the stuffy ambience at the hall last night that made me wanna leave. It was the fact that Jongin was there.

He puts the basket on the table beside my bed and slowly takes a seat on the chair where Taemin used to sit earlier. He sighs and rubs on his thighs and his eyes wander towards my ankle.

We were silent for a few minutes. I didn't bother wiping away the tears that kept on falling, I wanted him to see it. I wanted him to get a hint that these tears were because of him. But of course, he wouldn't because he's too naive.

"So......" he started, but even before I could ask him to leave, the door opens once again and an overly energetic Kyungsoo comes in, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He still had that stupid heart shaped smile on, and as he meets eyes with me, his smile flops and is replaced by a look of worry.

"Soojung?!?!!?!?! Why are you crying?" he says as he puts the bouquet down on the sofa and pushes Jongin away from the chair to sit on it.

"I'm fine." I tried smiling, but Kyungsoo wasn't buying it. He hold onto my hand tightly, making me flinch.

"Leave her alone, Kyungsoo. Let's go." I heard Jongin, and I feel like crying again. Does he really want to leave that fast? Does he not want to see me anymore?

"I'm so relieved that Taemin is there to take care of you. It must be wonderful having him as a boyfriend." Kyungsoo says, completely ignoring Jongin.

I was about to protest that Taemin and I aren't together, but was cut off by Kyungsoo's next words.

"Just like how happy I am now that Jongin is officially my boyfriend."

Ah. So it's official, they're together. I feel like throwing up because of all the emotions I'm feeling right now. I waited for him to deny it like what he usually does, but he just stands there, looking away from me.

Somehow, the tears doubled and I found myself sobbing harder, surprising him and Kyungsoo.

"Oh my god are you okay!!??!?!?!!?" Kyungsoo panics.

"Yeah...... My sprain is getting more and more painful the more I talk." I tried reasoning out.

I saw Jongin running towards me and I got a little surprised as he started massaging the area near my sprain. I tried my best to move it away from him, even though it hurts so much. He looks at me, confused.

"I'm fine." I said firmly. "I just need to rest. Please leave."

I saw sadness in Jongin's eyes, but it only passed by in a blur and he was back with his serious face.

"Let's go Kyungsoo." he says and pulls Kyungsoo by the hand. I looked away as I saw them intertwining their hands.

"Rest well, Soojung! Please get better so you and I can have double dates with Jongin and Taemin. Bye!" Kyungsoo waves his hands goodbye.

I lied down on my bed and curled into a ball. I feel like dying right there and then. During these moments, I wished I was already blind, that way I wouldn't have to see them and deal with the pain, because this pain is stupid. I feel so stupid for crying over someone who doesn't love me back.

I was more than happy to have stayed in the hospital for a couple more days because that means I wouldn't have to see Jongin. Just being in the same building as him makes me feel so stuffy. I'm also glad that he never visited after the last time. Kyungsoo still comes occassionally, and I can't get mad at him, he's too adorable.

I can't get mad at Jongin either. It's so dumb to get angry at him because he never even knew about my feelings.

I had a lot of thoughts in my head while I was at the hospital, and it helped me a lot on my story. By now, the notebook is almost filled with words, and I might need to buy a new one. Writing the perfect story is my main goal after all. Falling in love with Jongin is just a bonus in all of this, and a very very bad bonus.

When it was time for me to get out, Taemin decided that we should all go on a trip. 

"But aren't you gonna be busy since the elections are coming next year?" I asked.

"If I'd have to choose you over being a president, I'd do it any day." he says as he winks at me.

I rolled my eyes at him. He seems sweeter during the past couple of weeks. It's still awkward as hell, but I'm trying to cope up with it, knowing he can be random.

"I'm inviting Jongin and Kyungsoo, is that okay with you?" he asked as he helps me open my front door.

I stared at him uneasily, then glance at Jongin's front door. It sounds quiet inside, so I have assumed he's back to working.

"Yeah, sure." I said nonchalantly. I feel like this would be a good idea, maybe seeing them together more often would help me move on.

After 2 weeks, Taemin called me up to get ready for the trip. As I was packing my luggage, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and was surprised at who was on the other side, making me slam the door in his face.

"So I haven't seen you in weeks, and the first thing you're gonna do is throw a door at me. Wow, good job Soojung. Nice way to treat your friends." I heard Jongin as he groans from pain.

I took a deep breath before slowly opening the door again, and saw him rubbing on his forehead that was starting to turn red.

"Yes hello. What's your problem?" he said as he makes eye contact. I looked away from his piercing gaze.

"I should be asking you what's your problem. What do you want?" I asked casually, still looking down at my feet. I noticed a shiny ring on his finger and my heart ached at the thought that maybe, it was his and Kyungsoo's couple rings.

"My problem is we should'nt be avoiding each other like this and start packing together for the trip just like the old times. I know you're a dumb lady, you probably forgot to pack your underwear."

I widened my eyes and slapped his arm hard. "ert!" I screamed.

"Well then you're someone who likes to keep your feelings away. That's worse."

I was silent at his words. I had a feeling he knew I was avoiding him. I tried to act cool.

"What do you mean?"

"I meant, I know something's wrong. I know you're mad at me. So tell me what's wrong. I already told you a lot about me, why can't you do the same?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Ah, so is that why you can't keep eye contact with me and profusely avoiding me?"

"Hey you were the one who's avoiding me before! Don't put this all on me!"

He looks at me in shock, like he didn't think I would notice that. He sighs and shakes his head.

"Just let me cook you dinner. You've been eating fastfood for weeks now, I always hear the delivery man and see bowls outside your apartment when I get home."

I gave up and let him in. I do miss his cooking. He's always so meticulous, and he knows which foods I like and don't like. I at cooking.

I heard him chuckle as he sees the mess of clothes in the middle of my living room. I decided to pack there because it was hot in my room, summer's almost coming.

I watched him as he prepares the food, and how careful he is of choosing what to put and what not to put. We've only known each other for months, but it's like he memorized everything about me, yet I don't know anything about him, apart from the fact that he had a broken family.

He's so beautiful, and I feel so angry at myself that I only noticed this now. He has always been beautiful, even back then when he didn't even cared to look at me, even back then when all he ever wore were dark clothes and had his bangs over his eyes.

I found myself standing up and silently walking towards him. I stared at his back, and without thinking I wrapped my hands around his waist and remembered the time when we rode a bike together.

"Soojung?" I heard him, but I didn't let go. This may be the last time I'll ever get to do this. I held on fro a couple more seconds before I felt him gently taking my arms off him.

He turned around, and he was staring at me, but unlike before when all I ever saw was a serious gaze, this time his eyes were full of emotions I couldn't read, but at the same time I could feel.

He never said a word, but it's like I already knew what he was thinking. My lower lip trembled, and he clicks his tongue before pulling me close, wrapping his arms around my small form. His chin was on top of my head, and he made circular on my back, which comforted me a whole lot.

Only Jongin had the power to do that, to make the tears stop even before they could fall down. I found comfort in his embrace, and I felt like I was falling in love with him even more.

Realizing this, I took all the strength I could muster to push him away. He seems taken aback, but the same melancholic eyes stared at me right through my soul.

"I..... I'm sorry." he says as he drops the spatula and makes a mad dash towards the door. When I heard it close, I collapsed on the floor with a thud. My ankle hurt like hell, and the potato pancakes in the stove are long forgotten, with a burning smell lingering in the air, but I didn't care anymore. 

The warm feeling his embrace gave was still lingering within me, and for now, it's the only thing I'm holding on to.

a/n: maybe I'll do a double update today because everyone's getting mad that kaisoo is happening. As I've said, kyungsoo is just a minor character so just chill and wait for the next update.

(istg one more time....... im gonna delete this story......)