I stared at Soojung while making my morning coffee. She had been admitted out of the hospital a week ago, and until then, I've never seen her smile or act lively.

This is totally a different side of her. Although I admit I like it that's she's finally shutting up, I can't stand the silence. I've been in the silence all my life, and when she came, I kind of got used to the noise.

The doctor advised that I stay with her at all times, so I've been living in her apartment for the time being. She didn't want my boring apartment anyways, so I opted to stay here instead, and leave when she's asleep.

I was staring at her for so long already that I didn't notice the hot water already spilling on my cup. I felt the burn in my hand and retracted it away.

"Holy !" I screamed. It cought her attention, and without thinking, she rushed to me and fell down on the cold wooden floor even before she reached me.

"Soojung!" I said as I run to her aid, carrying her back to the sofa. It's like she isn't aware that her foot is still sprained. "What the hell are you doing!"

"You scared me! Of course I would come to you and check what's wrong!" she said, her voice cracking a bit.

I caught her almost tearing up face and felt bad for screaming at her. She hasn't been herself lately, and here I am starting another fight with her.

"I'm sorry. But I'm fine, you should be worried of yourself."

I stood up and placed my burning hand on running water, and waited for the sting to disappear. She was staring at me the whole time, it bore holes on my head.

I served her breakfast, but just like during the past couple of days, she only took a bite and stopped eating.

"One spoonful? That's all? After all the trouble I went through just to cook a meal for you?"

"I'm full." she said lifelessly.

I didn't want to argue anymore, seeing that she's getting teary eyed again, so I let it go and ate my food silently.

"Wouldn't it be nice if pain didn't exist?" she asked all of a sudden. I looked up from my meal and stared at her weirdly.

"If suffering wasn't part of this world, would it be a good thing or a bad thing?" she continued. I swallowed my food and looked straight at her.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Didn't some famous author said that. It's your choice to suffer from the pain, or not let it get to you."

As I said those words, I reflected on my own problems. Maybe it would be better if I listen to myself sometimes.

"And if pain didn't exist, then people would be happy all the time. Don't you think that's boring? Nothing to spice up your life? Sure you're having a hard time, but everything shall pass. It's up to you to continue living in that pain or letting it go."

Soojung gasped, like an idea just strucked in her head, and she looked at me, her smile reappearing after a couple of days.

"Thanks, Jongin. I told you you were perfect."

And with what she said, I felt a little confident. Maybe I wasn't that miserable after all.

I received a call from Taemin that afternoon. I ignored it, but he kept calling and I got irritated.

"What?!" I screeched. I heard him laughing from the other line and almost threw my phone across the room.

"You know I can crack your head up, Jongin. Don't ignore me." he said. "Can you come with me?"

"No." then I ended the call.

I went out to buy some vegetables and was greatly surprised to see guards lined up on the hall, and Taemin knocking at my apartment door. He looked at me, surprised.

"What are you doing in another person's apartment?" he looked at me suspiciously, his eyes wide.

I got what he was thinking and waved my hands. "No! It wasn't like that I swear!"

I tried to explain myself but in a matter of seconds, tons of guards started crowding up on me, and they started to carry all the way to Taemin's car.

"I could walk you know!" I screamed when we were inside. Taemin laughed, and I growled at him.

"Don't be like that to your brother, Jongin."

"I told you call me Kai!"

"Okay okay, sorry." he said and instructed the driver to drive. I didn't know where we were going, but I made sure as soon as this car stops, I'll run out and away from him.

The road was getting more and more familiar, and I knew this wasn't going to end good. As the view of a familiar house comes to view, my rage became bigger and bigger.

Taemin noticed this and started backing away from me.

I exploded when the car stopped.

"LEE TAEMIN YOU ING DOUCHEBAG! I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA DO THIS I HATE YOU I ING HATE YOU!" I said as I punched him mercilessly.

"Kim Jongin stop it right now! He needs to talk to you! Stop being a baby and be mature about this!" Taemin said as he shields his body with his arms.

The guards immediately held me and pulled me away from Taemin, now with a bloody mouth and a few scratches on his arm. Serves him right.

"Welcome back to the blue house." a familiar voice resonates from a distance, and I turned towards the front of the house and sees him standing there, a big smile on his face.

I ing hate that smile.

I pushed the guards holding me and fixed myself, before bowing. I heard him chuckle and my fists balled up on instinct, but I held it in.

"Shall we go inside, Jongin?" he says as he stretches his arms towards me, calling me in.

"Call him Kai from now on, appa." I heard Taemin say.

"Ah, a new name and a new identity. Sadly, it won't change the fact that you're still on the running to be the next president of South Korea."

I wanted to scream profanities at his face so badly, but I chose not to. I chose to be discreet, and kill him in my mind instead.

Taemin pats my shoulder and I shook it off me, following the president as he started to walk inside.

He instructed the maids to make me change my clothes to an expensive looking suit and tie, and I had no choice but to obey, since I'm in his turf.

We ate lunch in silence, and after that, Taemin and I went to the stables to check on the horses. This was something I liked doing back then. I really missed the horses here.

"Jjangoo grew up pretty well, didn't he?" Taemin said as we take out the horses for a ride. I ignored him, still mad at what he did, and I heard him chuckle before I took off, feeling the cool breeze as it hits my face while Jjangoo gallops through every obstacle on the track.

I got lost in horseback riding that I didn't realize it was already dawn. A maid came up to us.

"The president wants to see the both of you in his office in 30 minutes." she spoke like a robot and left.

So here we were, seated on his big office, as a servant comes in and offers us some tea.

"Okay, let's start this conversation." he said.

"There is no conversation to start." I interrupted. "Because I'm leaving right now." I stood up and walked towards the door, but the guards blocked it, not allowing me to pass.

"What, you're controlling me now too? Just like what you did with my mother?" I said bravely.

"Wouldn't it be better if you just accepted my offer?" he retorted.

"No! I will never be like you! You just the money out of people, and corrupting the government. I will never be proud that you're my father, and I will never be proud to represent you as the next president of South Korea. Goodbye." I replied and pushed the guards away from the door and ran as fast as I can.

The guards never followed me, so I assumed he had stopped pestering me. While on the bus back to the apartment, I received a text message from Taemin.

Kai, you have to be careful from now on. Father says he's gonna do something big that would make you change your mind.

I'm never afraid of him. I can survive without his help.

I arrived home, still pissed as hell. I can't believe Taemin would do such a thing. I trusted him, but he just made me lose that.

I was so angry that I screamed and screamed, until my lungs lost air, until I couldn't hear a sound coming out of my throat. Somehow, this scene seems familiar.

I remember doing this every night before Soojung arrived..... And now, I've done it again. When was the last time I screamed?

Realization came to me. I left Soojung alone all day! I wasn't even able to buy vegetables to make her some stew!

I changed to my normal clothes and ran outside. Typing the password on her door lock swiftly, I ran inside, only to see her laughing while watching a gagshow on television.

"Jongin! You scared me!" she said wide eyed as she stares at me from head to toe. "Why do you look pale?"

"What have you been doing all day?" I asked.

"Well, I was too tired, so I slept. And I just woke up a couple of minutes ago and started watching this."

I sighed. She doesn't look like she's hungry. Still, I made her dinner. She seemed to be back from her original cheerful state, and that made me feel at ease.

"You are a really good cook. This tastes so good!" she said as she chows down on her fried rice. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"You know, my mother also makes a lot of good korean food. I miss her so much!" she whines, and I turned serious. I remember when my mother used to make me food.

And then I remembered what happened today, and it added fuel to the fire. I stood up immediately.

"Where are you going?" she asks, surprised once again.

I glared at her. "Away from you. And next time, remind me not to do anything good for you. You make me sick."

I walked briskly towards the door and slammed it. I hate it how she's so lucky and content with her life, how she has everything. Meanwhile I'm here, dealing with adult stuff. 

My rudeness took it's toll on me though. I couldn't sleep the whole night. I felt bad that I had to say mean things to her again, considering that she's already injured.

It's just that when I get angry, I couldn't control my feelings. Man, I need to have therapy.

I woke up at around 7 in the morning, too early if you ask me, but I just couldn't sleep, so instead I prepared to apologize to Soojung.

I slowly snuck in her apartment in slow, quiet steps. When I opened the door to her room, there was nobody there. Did she went out?

How could she go out when she has a sprained ankle? I searched the bathroom and the kitchen, but she wasn't there either.

I went out to ask the guards of the building and that was when I noticed a note on the foot of my front door.

If you didn't want me around, you could've just said it earlier. Why did you bother taking care of me in the first place.

". I screwed up again." I said to myself as I ran out the building in my pajamas. Soojung you , you should've gotten used to me now.

a/n: and again, here we are with Soojung getting lost and Jongin finding her. Why do I do this..... Am I running out of ideas, or am I just really not good at chaptered fics. Probably the latter. Thanks for reading though! Wait for the next chapter!

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