My heart was beating fast, not because of the ghosts but because I think I'm lost again. I shouldn't have suggested this game, I should know better that I'm imcompetent and I'm gonna get lost in a forest in the middle of the night. I clutched onto my flashlight tightly, hoping to see anyone.

I was taken aback as I slipped, and I found myself falling down something. A hole? Why is there a hole in the middle of the forest?! I braced myself for the impact of my towards the ground, but instead, I fell on something...... or mabe someone. I heared it groaning and immediately felt alarmed. What if it's a bear?????

"Ouch......" I heard it moan and gasped.

"Jongin? Is that you?" I asked cautiously. I leaned in closer and took note of his musky scent. I immediately felt relief. "Oh my god it is you I know your scent!" I said as I hugged him tightly.

That probably came off as borderline creepy, but I didn't care anymore. I was shaking in fear. Funny how Jongin is always there whenever I'm in trouble. That makes me even more grateful to him.

"Soojung..... I...... I can't breathe....." I heard him mutter and I took my arms off him immediately. I couldn't see his face because I seem to have dropped my flashlight earlier when I slipped, so it must be up this hole.

The hole wasn't big, but it was big enough for us to breathe normally without squishing each other. I suddenly felt conscious being in the same place as Jongin. But that isn't important right now, what's more important is us getting out of here.

"HELP! HELP US!" I screamed over and over again. I encouraged him to do the same but he just stays silent, so I did all the work.

"Stop. No one's gonna hear you. Let's just wait till morning." he said, and I felt his hand on top of my mouth shutting me up.

I blushed, and I am so glad it's dark here or else I'd be an embarrassing mess. Jongin takes his hand off my mouth after a few seconds, and I hear him sigh.

This feels really uncomfortable. I feel like, even when we can be so peaceful like this, there's still a wall between us, a wall I cannot cross, because I'm scared that if I crossed it, he'd hate me.

Gradually, the tension eased up and we both found our peace while sitting next to each other on this dark, cold night. I turned my head to his direction, and although I can't see his face, my heart and mind has memorized every part of it, and I imagined him in the most comfortable expression he could muster.

"Isn't it strange?" I said all of a sudden, breaking the silent aura.

"What is?"

"You know a lot of things about me even without me telling you. I know nothing about you."

"You know about my family."

"That doesn't define anything, Jongin. I mean, like, what's your favorite food? favorite color? What do you like doing besides pissing me off and calling me names?"

I heard him sighing again, and nothing was heard after a while except our breaths.

"I wanna die. Right now." I heard him mutter. Panicked, my hands searched for his and when I found them, I held on to them tight.

"Don't say that!" I screeched. I looked up and saw the moon above us, glowing ever so brightly. In the slight glow the moon gave, I saw the silhouette of Jongin's face, and I saw that he was looking at me.

"I thought I already helped you overcome your suicidal thoughts..... I guess not. But Jongin....... I hope there are days where you fall in love with being alive. And I hope a part of your heart stays there forever."

I felt his grasp on my hand tighten, and I felt sad all of a sudden. If I could hold your hand like this forever, I would Jongin. But it's too bad that somebody else has already taken that spot from me.

I heard him chuckle, and after that, it was another round of silence, but a comfortable one. I love the feeling his hands gave, how he's slowly tracing circles around my palm, and even if we were stuck in this hole forever, it's okay because only then can I be like this with him.

"Chicken." 

"Huh?"

"My favorite food is chicken. My favorite colors are red and black. And the thing I like most in the world besides pissing you off is dancing. What else do you wanna know?"

I was speechless. He said those things to me like it was nothing, and he's so confident about everything about himself. I asked him a few more questions, and he answered them diligently. With every answer I receive, it makes me feel closer to Jongin, and I like this feeling.

"My turn to ask you. What's going on between you and your family?" his question had me taken aback. I never really thought there would come a time where I'd talk to him about my family. I planned the things I have to say in my head, making sure to leave out the rest of the details.

"Nothing's really going on. I love my mother and father, and I also have an older sister. Her name's Sooyeon. I love them so much that I feel like I'm burdening them because of my problems, that's why I decided to leave and go here in Korea. My mother has told me a lot about her home country and I've always been curious.

One time, something happened at home. It was really bad, very very bad. That was the first time I saw my mother cry, and I didn't want to see her cry ever again. I figured I was the problem why she was always so stressed and hurt, so with all my savings and with the help of my sister, I left secretly."

"But why did your sister let you leave? Isn't that kind of weird?"

"No, don't take it the wrong way. My sister and I loved each other, and she loves me even more than her boyfriend, Donghae oppa. But she also knows I've been suffering from seeing my mother all stressed out. She helped me leave, not because she wanted me to leave, but because she wanted me to get better treatment."

"Are you......... sick?" there was a hesitation in his voice, and I could tell he knows this is a sensitive topic.

"Maybe...... maybe not......." I tried to leave him guessing. It's better for him to not know, I don't want to get him involved.

"Just tell me. Tell me if you're sick, if you're hurting, if you're in pain. I hate it when you're being like this, Soojung."

I felt the frustration in his voice and it made me furrow my brows. I stayed silent and let him continue.

"I know there's something that I did that made you upset. And I want you to tell me what it is, because whenever I see you faking a smile at me, it hurts me so much. Just tell me what's bothering you, whatever it is."

So he notices. I'm just not good at hiding my feelings I guess. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I was about to say next.

"Maybe I got hurt about some things. Maybe the pain was so unbearable that I just had to pretend I was okay with it. But I was not okay Jongin. And I don't think I ever will be."

"What would you be hurt of?"

"I don't know.........." I was having a push and pull kind of feeling. Whenever I feel like I wanna tell him I love him, another part of me hesitates.

"Dammit Jung Soojung just tell me what it is!" he said, a tone of frustration already evident in his voice. I let go of his hand and stood up, angry that he's forcing me.

"I don't need to tell you anything, it's all in the past and we're both okay now." Actually, we aren't okay....... 

I saw him standing up as well and he grabs my arm, making me stumble a little.

"You think we're okay now? Really? This doesn't look okay at all to me. It feels like a thick air still surrounds between us whenever we're together. It's like there's a wall you're building between us that I can't cross no matter what I do!" 

I gasped. But that's exactly what I feel towards him.......

"This conversation is pointless. Let's just call for help so we can get out of here." I'm too tired to deal with these emotions right now. It won't help if we fight while we're stuck on a hole like this, things could get brutal. And I know how short Jongin's temper is.

I tried to climb the slippery walls, but to no avail, which made me even more annoyed. I just had to get away from Jongin right now. I'm afraid that if I stayed longer, all my feelings would just come pouring out and that is something I don't want to happen.

I got surprised as Jongin suddenly pulled me and made me face him. The moon shined even more, making me see his face more clearly, and when I made out his expression, I felt tears forming in my eyes. He looked so sad and frustrated, and I don't want him to feel that way. I don't want to burden him like how I burdened my parents.

"Why are you crying? Just tell me what I did wrong!"

"You did nothing wrong okay! It was my fault! Everything was my fault because I was so stupid to love you so much like this, and I'm so stupid to think you'd feel the same way! But you don't Jongin! You don't!" what am I doing? I'm looking like an idiot again. I pity myself so much, on why I was too weak.

I buried my hands in my face and crouched down, sobbing loudly. I just let all of it out, I knew this would happen. I hate myself. Jongin's gonna hate me too. He's gonna think I'm stup---

I felt him pulling me upwards again and what he did next made me cry even harder.

Because even though I'm the most stupid girl on earth right now, and I say things so thoughtlessly......

I got a kiss on the lips from Kim Jongin.

a/n: THERE YOU GO! KAISTAL! Everyone's getting frustrated with lack of kaistal but really I planned all that to brace yourselves for a whole lot of kaistal in the next coming episodes. I'm tryna build up the story first okay? Be patient.

Also! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 SUBSCRIBERS LIKE OH MY GOD WOW THANK YOU REALLY NEVER THOUGHT I'D GET THS FAR WOW HIT ME WITH A SPOON

I promis to give you guys even more better updates in the future so thanks for sticking up with me. Thanks for reading! :)