I tugged at the dress Jinri made me wear. I really wasn't used to short dresses, let alone expensive ones like these. The fabric felt marvelous between my fingers, and I opted to tugging it again, just to feel it.

"I really don't think I should go inside." I tell her as we made our way to the stairs.

"Come on, Soojung. Enjoy this moment. I want you to enjoy tonight. I know how the past couple of days had been cruel to you. I really should've never forced you, but seeing how troubled you were, I can't let you rot by yourself. So please, see this as an opportunity to enjoy. To be happy. Just tonight. Also, you can finally meet my fiance." she replies.

I have to agree with her statement. The past days have been harsher than usual, witb the blurry visions coming more often. After that black out moment at the flower shop, I thought eveeythinv would've slowed down again, but it just kept getting worse.

I sighed. So maybe my numbered days are coming to an end. I looked around me, and for the first time saw color. I saw a marvelous staircase, and a big chandelier, and huge paintings lining up the walls.

I smiled to myself. She was right. I was so busy thinking about when I'll lose my sight, I forget to actually look with them still working.

A lady in formal wear approached us and told Jinri she has to be by the door now in position for when her name is announced. She looks at me apprehensively, not wanting to leave me behind.

"Go, I'll follow after a little while." I shoo-ed her with a smile.

She hugs me and walks carefully up the flight of stairs with the lady assisting her in her gown.

As she climbs up, I stared at her retreating back. When will I ever get to see Jinri's smile again? She was the closest I have to having my sister here. I suddenly felt sad. I miss Sooyeon. I can't even remember what she looks like anymore. And the next time she'll see me....... I won't be able to see her.

I shook the lonely thoughts out of my head. Tonight is a good night. It's Jinri's engagement party. I shouldn't ruin the mood and give myself a good time for once.

I climbed up the stairs just in time for the venue's big doors to open and Jinri stepping inside. I stalled by the door for a few minutes and waited for the applause to die down. When all the attention was back on the stage, I made my way inside slowly, just in time to see..... Taemin holding the mic?

I was confused. How exactly close is Taemin to Jinri for him to be attending this engagement party?

"It is with great honor that I present to you, my brother, Kim Jongin, and her soon to be wife, Choi Jinri. We look forward into this collective gathering between the two families, and I ask for all of your blessings and well wishes."

I froze on my spot. My head started spinning uncontrollably, and I feel myself fainting. In front me me, camera shutter were blasting from every part of the room, making vision blurry than it already is.

Taemin is Jongin's brother? Moreover, Jinri's alleged fiance...... was Jongin?

I don't think my body can process this much information in one day.

My eyes searched for him in the crowd, and saw him with Jinri. In the middle of the dance floor.

They were dancing slowly, with Jongin leaning ever so slightly to whisper in her ear. They looked..... so in love.

Someone spoke over the mic, but I never really understood what he said. My ears were ringing, and my heart was pounding so loud against my chest.

It was only when I saw Jinri kissing Jongin that I was snapped back into reality.

My vision blurred amd blurred, and I held onto the door for support. I looked over to the stage, and albeit blurry vision, I saw Taemin looking straight at me, a shocked expression on his face.

I have to get out of here.

I looked over at Jongin one last time, and my world crushed when I saw him staring back, the same shocked expression evident in his eyes.

Yes. Tonight is a good night. But not for me. And never for me.

I ran out of the venue, going down the stairs with quick steps. It was a good choice to wear flats tonight, at least I can escape when I need to.

But I know I can never escape from my feelings. But that's the least of my problems now..... right?

I reached outside and continued running, away from this place, away from everything. If I knew this day wasn't gonna be as good to me as it was to Jinri, I never should've come. All I wanted was to live with the thought that Jongin forgets me, but now that it's happening, now that I see it with my own eyes, I never realized how painful it could be.

I was so distracted in my thoughts that I didn't realize I was running towards an open road. Only when I heard a loud beeping sound that I was brought back to my senses, and awaiting for the crash of metal to bones, I was ready for it. I was never afraid of dying anyway.

I felt strong arms tugging me harshly away from incoming cars and instead of falling into asphalt I fell into a sea of warm chest. I heard ragged breathing that I know so well whose from, and pushed him away from me, wriggling myself free of his hold.

"Soo..... Soojung....." I heard him say. It was painful, hearing him say my name again after so long.

I looked at him and my heart breaks even more. He had the most confused look on his face as he stared at me, and he looked so..... lost and broken. Like I did that to him.

"Wow!" I said, a little too cheerful. "I never thought I'd see you again! And here out of all places!"

I was laughing, smiling even, to hide the pain in my eyes. But I know he knew. He knew it was painful for me too.

"Where were you? What happened to you?" he asked so gently. So gently it almost seemed like he's not even angry at me. 

"You should go back inside, Jinri's waiting for you, I don't want to cause more trouble that I've done in your lif-"

"Just answer me Soojung goddamnit!" 

"How could've you gone through everything and still not be angry at me!" I snapped back. "I wrote you a letter, Jongin. I left you, I left you without warning. I broke all the things I said I'd never do to you, but why..... how can you go through life still looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like the stars still shine out from my eyes......" I said it so sadly, I almost believed it too. 

Because beyond the sad, tired eyes, beyond the cold exterior he's trying to show everyone at the party earlier, I could see. I could see how lovingly he looks at me right now, like all past crimes are forgiven. Like there's no need for trial into the court of Jongin's heart.

"Because you are my star." was all he had to say. For me to break down completely. 

I heaved and covered my hands on my face, slowly falling down the ground. I cried and cried and cried like I haven't cried for him, yearned for him in the past 3 years.

I felt him pulling me up and wrapping his arms around me. And it felt comforting, after a long time. Like the comfort feeling left my system, but suddenly now came back. Right when I needed it most. I let him hug me as I cried in my hands, freeing myself from worry for once

"Soojung? Jongin?" a voice behind us resonates.

I was snapped back to reality. No, this is all wrong. Not now. Not now when he's so close to the life I wanted him to live.

I pushed him away harshly and wiped my tears away. I looked back and see Taemin staring at us, still with a shocked expression as he pants.

"Taemin, take me home." I said tiredly. I wanna get away from all of this. I wanna be at peace with myself for once. I figured it was enough to see him, hold him one last time, and my peace would finally come. I got my wish.

"No. No you are not taking her anywhere!" Jongin tantrums. "Not when my questions aren't answered yet! Soojung! Just tell me what's wrong!"

I ignored him and walked towards Taemin. I let him wrap his arms around my shoulders as he guides me away from Jongin.

"It's glad to see you tonight, Jongin. I give you well wishes for your wedding." I said one last time and turned around to walk away from him.

"Why do you keep doing this! Running away!" I heard him screaming, but I kept walking.

He catches up to me and grips at the sides of my arms, shaking me violently.

"Jongin stop that!" Taemin says, pushing him away. Jongin continues to grip.

"Soojung talk to me! Tell me what I did wrong!"

I looked down with a blank expression, staying mute. I felt his grip loosen, and he gives an exhausted sigh.

"You know I've never given up on you. But I can't do this alone, Soojung. I've always fought for you. Can't you fight for me too?" he says one last time, in between huge sobs.

I wanted so bad, to lose my defenses, to hug him, and tell him that I'm still here, that I never stopped loving him.

"Soojung." We all turned around to see Jinri by the door, with tears in her eyes.

Jongin would be happier with her. And I know he's in good hands.

"I'm going home Jinri, sorry I can't make it till the end of the party. Congratulations on your wedding."

Those were the final words I said before tugging Taemin away, towards his car. Only when we were inside, when he started the engine, and when he drove away, did I let my tears fall down freely.

Taemin parks by the side and wraps his arms around me, letting me cry in his shoulders.

"I've been so cruel to him, Taemin. How can he go on in life still loving me like that? How can he not forget me like what he does to everyone before?"

Taemin chuckles as he my hair.

"Maybe because the mind forgets, but the heart doesn't."

~

a/n: okay sorry this chapter , I know because I was frustrated as hell when I was writing this as well, but this was a good build up to something that would happen soon. We're almost nearing the end, people! Thanks to everyone who has been with this fic since 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and now! I can't express it in words how much you motivate me to keep writing, something I've considered giving up during the past year. Your comments do matter, and I read all of them. So keep em coming! Until next update! 💕