Chapter 24 – Inner monologue

WARNING: If you are too sensitive, better skip this chapter. Health problems, visions and anxiety will be found here.

“The truth is long to explain, are you ready?” Soneul asked.

“Yes, just start please” Eunah nodded.

“Alright…” she took a deep breath before staring at Eunah straight to her eyes. “I liked him. It was a time ago, when we were trainees. I had a deep serious crush on him.

Eunah broke the eye contact, rolling her eyes to her right, imagining that the conversation was leading to an ‘I love him and you might disappear`.

“But that was a long time ago. I know I shouldn’t have dated him, and even less if he likes you” Soneul finished the sentence.

“What?” Eunah looked surprised. “He likes me? Since when?” she had that you-might-be-confused look.

“Eunah, it could be seen from miles away” she nodded. “And in addition I have realized that I don’t like him anymore”

“Don’t you like him? Seriously? Have you thought about it?” Eunah asked trying not to look happy while that glimpse of hope was trying to make her smile. “Don’t you like him?”

Soneul shook her head. “Ani, I don’t. At first I thought that we have a lot of things in common, but these last days I have realized that we don’t, and it wasn’t a crush or love, it was just an obsession”.

She flipped her hair.  Eunah couldn’t help but focus on her long straight hair and her beautiful sharp eyes. The amount of things that were passing through her mind was almost impossible to handle. Reality crashed just in front of her eyes. She was with a blank stare.

“I don’t also want to lose a friend” Soneul tilted her head and smiled slightly.

Eunah didn’t even make the effort to respond to that last sentence, her heart was starting to go faster.

“So, can we go back to the music room? Soneul asked, making Eunah nod and follow her back to the practice room where the other members were.

They went back to the music room, but just when they were about to come inside Eunah stepped back.

“I need to go to the toilet, I will join you later”

She almost ran to the toilet. She felt how her eyes were becoming watery and some kind of anxiety growing on her chest. What’s wrong with me?

She entered the toilet and took a look at herself at the mirror. She didn’t know why, but she felt her face changing. Her eyes were playing a bad joke on her. Well, in fact it was her brain. Anxiety possessed her, and her eyes were actually making her see like if she were being transformed onto another person.

This is too much to handle.

Soneul’s face was her face now. Soneul’s straight her was her hair now. She wasn’t seeing a vision, she wasn’t imagining it; her brain was tricking her.

I am not her, I don’t have her beautiful orbs, neither her beautiful straight her. I even don’t look Korean, so how would he like me?

She felt her heartbeat go faster, hitting her inner chest strongly. She also started sweating badly.

She broke the eye contact with the Soneul image on the mirror. She checked her han