Another chapter. Awww. :-( sorry if the story became like this. Mianhe. Don't forget to comment or subscribe! Add me as a friend too! :-)

-baeqchan

A B A N D O N E D

It’s already 6 in the morning and everyone is still asleep and enjoying their sweet dreams. I sat on the sofa outside the house since I got home, waiting for someone. Hours passed already and he hasn’t got home after the incident. It’s my choice to wait for him because I wanted to see him come home safe. I don’t feel sleepy at all.

I decided to go outside to find him. I want to assure that he’s okay. I put my jacket on and started searching for him in the town. I have hopes that I’ll see him inside the bars, drinking alone. I’ve searched every corner but unfortunately I can’t find him. This is all my fault. I sat on the sidewalk and run my hand through my face as I feel like crying again.

"Did you know about this?" A voice made me come to life. I immediately turn around and saw his exhausted appearance. His hair was messy.

"Jong-" I  tried to call his name but he yelled at me.

"Did you know about this?!" He doesn’t care if he can get everybody’s attention. I bit my lip so hard.

"Yes! Yes!" I shouted and I can feel the tears flowing on my cheeks but still I am holding the remaining tears behind.

"I'm sorry, Jongin, I don't know how to say it to you. I-" I say.

"Enough." I tried to explain but his tones is so scary that I haven’t heard it before.

"Pleas-"  I tried to approach him. "I said enough!" He yelled.

"Jong-"

"Get out! Get out!"

I'm done. I'm done hurting Jongin. I don't want to make him anymore miserable. I left him and started crying as soon as I can. I realize that the more he sees me the more he's hurt. Is this a forbidden love? How tragic that is. I should have not comeback. I should have just married Luhan and didn't know about my brothers. I could have not hurt them more. Once is enough.

I run and run and a screech, break of the car had me stopped. Wide open eyes looking awful, all I can see were people staring at me. Nobody dares to come closer to me. I bow down my head and slowly walked. The beeping of the cars was driving me crazy. Hit me if you want. That's okay. I'm not a good person to be living in this world, so kill me. Tears flowing from my eyes gave me blurry vision of everything. I can't see clearly the road I am walking to. People's chatter made me want to kill myself. I felt that my heart started to feel the struggle that I am suffering right now. I clasp my chest with my hand trying to ease the pain that suddenly took my strength. My visions got more blurry but not because of the tears but from something I don't know. My knees gave up causing me to kneel on the floor. I'm sad that I'm already causing so much trouble. The people went closer to me asking if I'm okay. But a voice gave me some hope.

"Hyorin- ah!" He shakes me to make me comeback to my senses. I tried to recognize his face, but unfortunately everything went black.

...

"Hyorin-ah. Get well soon. I'm always here." Those were words I had been hearing for the mean time. I tried to open my eyes for I don't know how many times but for this time I succeed. A blurry image to the clear one makes me assure that it was Luhan.

"Oh, god. You're awake. Wait here I'll call the doctor." He quickly kissed me on my forehead and run towards the door. I travel my eyes around the room and all the walls were painted white. A cross at center made me a bit uncomfortable. Maybe it's the reason why all of these were happening. I've never been into the church for so long. Is this a sign that I should go to the church and have a faith on him, again? The door opens and the doctor smiled at me.

"How are you feeling?" He asks. He checked my eyes using his mini flash light and asks me how many fingers and etc.

"I don't feel anything right now. I'm good." I say.

"You don't feel any pain in your chest?" He assures.

"N-no. I feel great!" I fake a smile for him to believe me.

"Okay, so that means the medicines were working." He planted a smile on his face.

"Y-yeah."

"Can you tell me what you're talking about?" Luhan interupted us using his serious tone.

"Who-"

"I'm her boyfriend."

"Okay, let's talk outside." The doctor immediately went outside and Luhan followed him.

"Wait, let me know-" I sigh in disbelief that they left me not knowing anything. unfortunately, the images of what happened earlier flashes back in me and my head started to ache along with my chest. Am I this hurt that my chest is seriously in pain?

I got annoyed listening to the tic toc of the clock. It's so silent and I feel scared. I remember those times where I've been into hospital for almost everyday because of my illness. I hope it's not back. I don't want to make people worried about me. 

"Take a rest and don't you dare move a bit." Luhan say. He's back for a while now, but he's acting strange.

"Why are you like this? I'm not dying so stop acting like I am." I  say. He's been acting really weird after the conversation he had with the doctor earlier. I tried to ask him but he seriously doesn’t have the plan on answering me.

"Just sleep, okay. When you wake up your mother's gonna be here soon." He said. His face is emotionless. I can't read his face at all.

"Luhan tell me what the doctor said. I am not sleeping if you’re not telling me." I said to him with a tone. I don't like it when people keep secrets to me especially when it's about me. I have the right to know because I'm the one who has something.

"You're sleeping." He said and was about to go when I held his hand. For the first time I remember that I held his hands this tight.

"N-"

"Just ing sleep!" I saw him paused after yelling at me. I know he's shock with his sudden action so am I. He run his hand through his hair and sat beside me. He took my hand and started to caress it.

"I'm sorry." He say.

"I know. Please tell me what the doctor told you. You've been like this after you talked to him. Is there something I need to know?" I pleaded.

"No-nothing." He stammer. I can feel his hands shake.

"Please? I have the right to know, Luhan." I pleaded him and he's thinking really hard to what he's gonna say. 

"You had a heart operation before, right?" He asks. With that question I know what's happening but my mind doesn't want it to be real.

"Y-yes. Why?" Oh, God, please don't let this happen.

"He said your-- your heart's been through so much emotional sufferings and it- it can't hold for that long." He started to explain. In every word he say there is worries. There is a tone that says he's not into what he's saying.

"What? I don't understand." Does that mean I can be happy now? I think that's right. jongin is mad at me. I can't be happy when he's angry at me.

"He said that you can't be that happy or sad. Your emotions might kill you, Hyorin."

"No. You're telling me that I have that heart problem again? I'm all healed! Why are you saying that? Let's find another doctor. I know that test he did was a mistake. I don't have that illness. I'm good. See? Why are you saying that?!" And I began to sob. Luhan pulled me to a hug and I continued crying.

"Stop that, Hyorin!" Luhan scolded while tapping my back. I know what Luhan said. But that news cannot be tolerated.