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Chapter 23

 

Donghae was waiting in the principal office for the third time, but this was the first time his father had been called from work, he knew when the principal mentioned his father, he was in trouble is waiting. His heart tense when he heard a knock on the door.

Knock knock knock...

Donghae watched his father enter the room, his eyes travelled to Donghae scanning him down before returning to the principal.

“Oh, Mr Choi, come in please have a seat.” Siwon enters the principal office. “Thank you for coming.”

“What is this about?” Siwon turned to look at his son, who would not meet his gaze not even once. Donghae knew his father would be disappointed at him. He just lost his cool, he hated hearing people talk about his brother. They didn’t have a clue what they had put his brother through. What they did almost cost him and his parents Jaejoong’s life. That was something he would never forgive. Donghae knew his father wasn’t on best terms with the school after what happened to Jaejoong, neither his mother but his father is here now.

“It’s better if we take a seat first.” The principal asked Siwon to sit in the chair beside Donghae.

“I regret to inform you, that your son was involved in another fight today. If it continues we may have to expel your son. We gave him the benefit of the doubt but since it seem to be recurring. Now we know Donghae had being going through a troubling time, we thought it was best to call you in first, so we can discuss this matter.” Donghae could see his father was livid, but it wasn’t at him, it was at the principal.

The principal continued, “In the last number of weeks, Donghae’s grades have dropped substantially.” The principal took hold of a documents from a folder. “Also the constant fighting is concerning my staff, he used to be a top student, but now fighting with fellow students? As a student his main duty is to study, not to fight.” Siwon massages his temple. Right now he just wanted to take Donghae out of this school. It was useless to talk to someone like this principal.

 

“I’m sure my son have a reasonable explanation.”

 

“Fighting is against school rule.”

 

“And so bulling, yet you didn’t stop them from picking on my other son, did you?” Siwon questioned reasonably. Just having this conversation was giving him headache. “Donghae I’d like you to explain to the principal why you started a fight.”

 

“T-they m-made him d-do i-it…” Donghae spoke in a low voice, no more than a whisper.

 

“Made him do what? Who?” then it hit him as he asked, his eyes widened when Donghae didn’t answer, the emotional sadness lingering in his eye as he thought about it.

 

“Jae…”

 “They force him to.” Donghae held out his hand looking on the inside of his arm as he spoke in Korean to his father, making the principal look to the two. Not understand a word they were saying to one another, “How they could do something so cruel, it’s so inhumane.” They weren’t people in his eye, “How could they Appa?”

 

“Donghae get your bag, we’re leaving.” Siwon stood up ready to leave.

 

“Appa?” Donghae called out to his father worriedly.

 

“I’m withdrawing my son from this school.”

 

“I beg your pardon.”

 

“This school has already nearly cost me my younger son’s life. When he entered this school he was excited, for the first time to be in the same school as his brother and most of all to have real friends in his life.” He sighed, “For the first time in his life he wasn’t a sick kid but a normal kid.” Siwon told him, “And what those people did to him? It’s something I can never forgive this school most of all. I agree to let my son stay here as he said he wanted to finish the year. You have already tried to pay my family off, so it doesn’t come public what happen to my son, but know I see this place won’t accept what you did to a 15 year old boy.”

 

“You know my wife and I regret bring him here, if it wasn’t for the cancer treatment, we would have never come to the state. Come Donghae we’re leaving.” Siwon made his way out of the office. Both of them didn’t speak on the way home until Siwon pulled up outside their home. Donghae turned to his father, he knew his father was stress, especially since they were separated from Jaejoong and his wife.

 

“Appa I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.” Siwon leaned back, “You had your reasons, and although I wish you would have handle in better. I would probably have lost it too, and your mother would have flipped. So feel like telling me what else you have found out?” They went inside, Donghae told him how he had been trying to find out what lead Jaejoong down that path. Siwon held his head in his hands as Donghae told him everything he knew, about how some of Jaejoong so call friend stood back and allowed it to happen. Siwon wanted nothing more than to have the floor open up and swallow him whole. How could he not have noticed it before it was too late. How was he going to explain this to his wife. He thought back to the moment he found out Jaejoong had been hurting himself.

 

Flashback:

 

“Jae why are you doing this?” Siwon held a cotton cloth to his arm, looking over his shoulder to his wife. His eyes darting over the droplets of blood falling from blood stained cloth. “Jae talk to me.” But he didn’t, Jaejoong was sitting on the ground next to his window it was like no one was home in Jaejoong shell of a body. It wasn’t the first time Jaejoong had done this, he though they were making progress. But no, Jaejoong had managed to find something sharp and began to cut slits into his porcelain white skin. He thought he had removed all shape objects from the house. Donghae was standing in the door way shaking his head. The image of Jaejoong wasn’t for the sweet little baby they raise. But a boy who is scared and desperate for help if only they had pick up on it sooner. The last time he was cutting himself, it nearly cost him his life.

 

He looked at his wife and then to his other son before turning back to Jaejoong to cradle him, his expression showing pure sadness. “You can’t keep doing this Jaejoong, please Jaejoong, your mother and I want to understand why you’re doing this? Please tell us why you’re cutting again? Can’t you see how much your upsetting your mother and I?” He cradled Jaejoong like the he was a baby, waiting for Jaejoong to come back to himself he brushed his hand against Jaejoong cheek. He felt Jaejoong become tensed up. Before the tears flow. “Heechul.”

 

“Heechul knelt down beside him reaching for Jaejoong hand and caress it. What else could they do, but hold him tightly? “We’ve got you Jae!”

 

“Jae…” Heechul called as Donghae walked into the room picking up his laptop that lay on the floor near him wondering what it was doing in here in the first place. What his eyes met on the screen wasn’t something he wanted to see.

 

“Umma?” He remembered Donghae calling for them to look at the screen as he turned it to them, “How did he…?”

 

“Umma I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was missing….” He had just arrive home from school twenty minutes ago. He had just come up to call Jaejoong for dinner as his mother asked him to… when he shouted for his parents.

 

End of Flashback.

 

“Appa.” Donghae called his father from his truants. Siwon turned his focus back on Donghae. He was supposed to be a good father to his boys. Yet he had missed something that he should have been on the lookout for.

 

“Sorry Donghae, I’m not been a good father.”

 

“Appa…”

 

“So what should we eat for dinner tonight? Frozen foods your Umma made or take-out?” He smiled at Donghae. He could see his father was trying to change the subject.

 

“Should we tell Umma?” Siwon shook his head.

 

“I think it’s better if I do that in person, you know how you Umma can be.” Siwon told him. “We need to be strong Donghae, strong for ourselves and for Jaejoong.”

 

“Appa what they did to him…”

 

“I know,” Siwon shrugged taking a deep breath. “Because of what they did, Jae wasn’t able to cope,” he thought about it. “I-I guess it became more of a habit than anything what Jaejoong began to do. It was probably a way of Jaejoong trying to reach for us to notice, but we were blind, we got caught in our own lives we fall to notice. When you guys needed us, when Jaejoong needed us.” He wishes he had paid more attention. He was so caught up in paying off Jaejoong medical bill. That he hadn’t had much time to spend with his son. He saw him usually in the morning just before work only for a short time, and dinner. Before Jaejoong would go to his room and lock the door. He wondered how long had this been going on until Jaejoong couldn’t cope anymore.

 

Donghae sat across from his father. His father wasn’t the only one who felt guilty he did too, he thought back.

 

Flashback…

 

“Hyung can I talk to you?” Jaejoong stood outside Donghae’s bedroom door still in his school uniform.

 

“Later Jae, I have to A’s my mid-terms.” That had gone on for weeks. Jaejoong kept asking to talk to him, but Donghae was so caught up with studying or going out with his mates that he didn’t have time for his pesty little brother. When he did have time, Jaejoong was nowhere to be found. Every night, that week Donghae hadn’t seen Jaejoong.

 

“Umma where’s Jae?”

 

“Hmm, he called a little while ago saying he would be late. Something about picking up book at the library.” Heechul told him as he looked at the clock above. It was getting late. “I should give him a call, it’s getting a bit late. But Jaejoong phone had been turned off. “Strange, Siwon…” he called for his husband.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Could you go pick up Jaejoong at the library it’s getting a bit late for him to be walking home.” Although Siwon went to pick up Jaejoong, Siwon couldn’t find him, he wasn’t at the library as they thought. Jaejoong hadn’t come home until well past mid-night. Heechul and Siwon were out of their mind with worries until he came through the door they gave him an ear full on responsible and although they asked him where he had been Jaejoong refused to answer. He lied about being with friends, it was a few days later when Donghae was shock to find Jaejoong waiting outside his classroom. He hadn’t notice how pale Jaejoong was.

 

“Jae?”

 

“Can I walk home with you Hyung?”

 

“Rain check Jae, I’ve got soccer practice.”

 

“ Can… then I’ll wait until you’re finished.” Donghae didn’t know it then, but his brother was crying out to him in his own way. If he had, he would have asked Jaejoong what was wrong but he hadn’t. “There no point, I’ll be home late. Hey tell Umma I have a date will you, and I might not be home for dinner if it goes well?” with that Donghae left Jaejoong standing in the hallway alone. As Donghae ran around the pitch he could have sworn he see Jaejoong from across the pitch, but as he looked again he was gone. When he got home he found a note from his parent telling them they would be late and that they had left money on the counter for them to get food. He knock on Jaejoong door, “Jae I’m ordering pizza, do you want anything else?”

 

“N-no!” the voice was shaky but Donghae hadn’t notice, “I’ll call you when it’s here.” If only he had opened Jaejoong’s door, he might have been able to stop Jaejoong but he didn’t. It was only as he set out the plates for the two of them, that Donghae notice something sticking out of his brother’s bag, but as he pulled it closer the bag fell to the bag the content falling out. He notice a lot of crushed up paper, even some of his book were thrown. He opened paper after paper, not believe what he was seeing. He ran upstairs pounding on his brother door calling out his name franticly.

 

“JAEJOONG OPEN THIS DOOR, LOOK I’M HERE,” he thought back to earlier and how Jaejoong wait outside his classroom. He felt so stupid now. “Jaejoong…” he was about to base down the door when he heard the sound of the shower. He ran to the bathroom twisting the door handle. It was lock, “Jaejoong, open this door!” Donghae shouted as he leaned his ear against the door, “Jae pizza here, come out before it gets cold. Jae… answer me, Jaejoong are you okay?” he yelled still waiting for an answer; Donghae began to hit the door, shouting for Jaejoong to open the door. When he got no answer he became scared, “Jae I’m bashing down the door!” He slammed his body against the door again and again, Donghae slammed his body against his door full force until the door flow open. He didn’t care about what he would have to say to his parents, he was worried, “Jae…” The shower was still running, what he saw scared him enough to stop in his tracks and gasp. Jaejoong was laying on the shower floor unconscious his knees were close to the chest while his arm lay again his side… while his head was slumped against the wall. Blood pooled around him mixing with the shower water flowing from the fossit above. Looking down Donghae could see two gaping wounds around Jaejoong wrists. Awaking from his frozen state, Donghae ran to the shower turning off the water above and grabbed towel placing them around Jaejoong wrist. Before he pulled him into his arms. “Jae… Jae, open your eyes for me…” Donghae was panicking. He didn’t know what to do he tapped Jaejoong face before looking at his wrist, the blood had soak into the towel he had wrapped around. He lay Jaejoong onto to ground, before running down the fall to grab the phone before running back to Jaejoong placing his head on his lap.

 

“Ambulance… it’s my brother…” He gave the address before began talking to Jaejoong again. He couldn’t do anything but stay by his side while they waited for the ambulance. When it arrive he stayed by Jaejoong’s side, even when he was placed onto the stretcher and taken to the ambulance outside. He watched his mother’s car pull up, people had already gathered around the house as Jaejoong was loaded into the ambulance. Donghae looked at his mother’s car as it pulled up; he jumped from the car running over. He looked to Donghae his eyes swollen his shirt was over in blood.

 

“What happened?” Heechul ran over, “I’m his mother,” Heechul told the paramedic as he jumped into the ambulance beside Jaejoong. He was about to reach for Jaejoong hand when he saw the thick bandage wrapped around his wrist. His hands shook, staring at Jaejoong wondering what was happening. It wasn’t until they reached the hospital and Jaejoong was taken from him that Heechul held himself before turning to hug Donghae.

 

“Umma.” Donghae cried, “H-He… He…” Heechul pulled back as Donghae looked at his wrist. “He was in the shower Umma.”

 

End flashback.

 

 

He remembered trying to explain to his mother. He really didn’t know what to say. Anything he did say what things his mother didn’t want to hear. He remembered his mother calling his father. He was already breaking down by the fact his son tried to take his own life. It felt it was his fault it wasn’t the first time Jaejoong asked to speak to him. He regretted it. Maybe if he had paid Jaejoong attention that day, he wouldn’t have done what he did.

 

“Donghae…”

 

“Hmmm...” Donghae looked at his father, “I think it times you and I go home, to your mother and to Jaejoong.” Donghae didn’t need to answer.

 

“Appa lets surprise them.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Think of how happy Umma will be.” Donghae had a point. He missed his wife and young son, probably the same way Jaejoong and Heechul missed them. He had only been a few weeks, but it had felt like a long time.

 

 

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Hey guest...

sorry i don't have a computer for a while and typing on a tablet it hard.. si=o their will be a delay, but i will do my best to update

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