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Chapter 19

 

“Jae, what were you thinking?” Heechul asked as soon as he got Jaejoong up the stair. “Did you have any idea as to what I would think when I noticed your bed empty?” Heechul sat at the end of Jaejoong’s bed as Jaejoong began to change out of his clothes. “Jae I’m waiting.”

 

“I don’t know, I-I just wasn’t thinking straight Umma. I couldn’t sleep I thought some air would do me good,” Jaejoong answered. “I just wanted some air.”

 

“Well next time just open a window. I know this place is difficult for you Jae, but you got to stop and think, you can’t go off in the middle of the night, you’re 15 years old anything could have happen to you. Do you realise that?”

 

“But it didn’t, nothing happened to me Umma.”

 

“That’s not the point,” Heechul raise his hand to his head before shaking it, “Something could have, never do that again Jaejoong. I was out of my mind when I saw you were gone, if you father or brother were here they would probably feel the same way I do about this, and would want to give you a good needed lecture.”

 

“If everyone was here I could probably sleep.” Jaejoong mumbled to himself as Heechul left the room returning with a towel to dry Jaejoong hair off.

“What did you say?” Heechul asked, “I know you said something.”

 

“N-no I didn’t.”

 

“Come on I’m your mother, I know you mumbled so I wouldn’t hear you…” Heechul softly glared at him, “Care to share you thoughts?” Heechul asked as he started to rub Jaejoong’s hair, “Seriously when did you grow so tall?”

 

“No.” Jaejoong answered simply. “I'm not that tall...”

 

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me but we will continue this in the morning. It’s late, you need some sleep,” Heechul told him pulling the cover down, allowing Jaejoong to get in. He covered Jaejoong up to his shoulder, “Now stay in that bed, before I tie you to the bed.” Heechul kissed the top of his head, “Try and get some sleep!” Just as Heechul was about to leave, Jaejoong quickly pulled his arm.

 

“What is it?” Heechul asked, he sat down on the side of the bed. He looked at the fur ball at the end of the bed cuddle up, he want to say, “Someone made her place right at home.”

 

“Stay, p-please stay until I fall asleep.” Jaejoong refused to give his mother an eye contact. “Stay…” he hated that  he felt like such a baby.

 

Heechul understood completely, he fixed up the pillows and lay beside Jaejoong, “I’ll stay with you now, close your eyes and sleep.” Heechul told him. He couldn’t help but stayed awake for a while watching over his son and he finally drifted off to sleep. It was only about an hour into his sleep, did Jaejoong start to trash around. Heechul quickly tried to wake him.

 

“Jaeoong, Jaejoong wake up!” Heechul shook Jaeoong lightly, making Jaejoong shot up from the bed, breathing heavily as he meet the worried eyes from his mother. Jaejoong covered his ear, the haunting voice of the people that bullied him, were running around inside his head. He wanted to forget them but he couldn’t, they were always there taunting him. “Jae…” Heechul called again. Jaejoong kept his eye closed, rocking back and forward with his hands over his ears. Heechul brushed his hands over Jaejoong’s hand. “Jae listen to my voice, just my voice, it only a bad dream. I’m right beside you honey, open your eyes and look at me. Please Jae, you’ll see you’re safe and sound with me.” Jaejoong looked around taking his hands from his eyes. “Was it the voices again? Come on take deep breathes now.” Jaejoong nodded as he took deep breath, “Here take this.” Heechul held out a small pill in his hand, Jaejoong stare at it. “Take it, you’ll sleep better.” Heechul told him, holding the pill to his mouth before handing Jaejoong a glass of water from his bedside locker. Jaejoong took a sip and dropped the glass accidently before covering his ear again. Heechul could see the panic, he looked around for something to distract Jae from it. He picked up the cat and held it in front of Jae. Jaejoong eyes widened, shocked and terrify by the smashing of the glass, but his eyes focus on the little cat.

 

“It’s okay Jae, it okay…” Heechul allowed Jaejoong to hold the cat, it seemed to have worked. Jaejoong’s eyes turned from fear to warm eyes, he was more relaxed. “Stay in bed, go back to sleep. I’ll clean this up.” Heechul got up from the bed cleaned up the sharp glasses before returning to Jaejoong’s side where he found Jaejoong fast asleep with the kitten cuddle up next to him, Heechul lay on the bed next to him and caress the side of Jaejoong’s face. “If only I could make everything alright for you.” He eventually got back up and made his way back to his room and held out his phone, as he stay by the window looking out into the darkness.

 

“Heechul, why are you calling so late? It’s like 3:40 in the morning there right? I was going to call you in the morning.” Heechul smiled hearing his husband’s voice.

 

“Guess I beat you to it Siwon, I’m so happy to hear your voice.” Heechul said softly “How are you my love?”

 

“Missing you and our younger son like crazy, other than that it’s alright here.”

 

“How’s Donghae? I miss you both so much.”  Heechul repeated his thoughts, as he thought about them a lot.

 

“Hmm… He’s a bit down, I keep telling him it’s not his fault but you know how he can be.” Siwon sighed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He failed a few exams, I told him he can make them up. It wasn’t like we all didn’t have another individual on our minds at the time, he thinks he’s let us down,” Siwon told him. “No matter what I say to him.”

 

“Is he with you now? Maybe I say something to him.”

 

 “That probably would be useful if he was here, he’s gone out.”

 

“Oh…” Heechul was a little depressed.

 

“ You okay?”

 

“Could’ve been better I suppose, Jaejoong decided to go for a midnight stroll,” Heechul told him.

 

“He what? You’re joking right?”

 

“No I’m not joking,I was out of my mind with worries. Here I went to check on him to find his bed empty, to tell the truth I nearly lost it when he came back through the door. And all the awful thoughts ran through my head.”

 

“Well I guess he’s getting better, it took us months to get him to leave the house.” Siwon tried to make a joke about it.

 

“Not funny.”

 

“Sorry! He didn’t did he?” Siwon asked already knowing the worry they shared.

 

“No, he showed me his arms,” Heechul sighed, “Though it didn’t stop me imagining the worse, he said he got lost.”

 

“Do you believe him?”

 

“The lost bit yes, but Yunho going after him no. You find this interesting, our son covered for Leeteuk and Kangin’s eldest,” he laughed, “Maybe there’s hope he’ll get better,” but the images of what just happened pass his eyes, “Though awful people still haunts him.”

 

“Where is he now?”

 

“Sleeping, I’ve given him something, he will be out for a while. I didn’t know what else to do, he woke up screaming in his sleep. I never realized how much it haunted him. Now wonder the doctor gave me these, can you imagine I’m supposed to be signing him up for school tomorrow,  but if tonight anything to go by he’s not ready. All Leeteuk’s work in getting me an appointment at out old school.”

 

“He’ll never be ready if we don’t force him a little Chullie, it’s not like we haven’t talk to him about it for a while. This will be good for Jaejoong, he’ll make new friends and...”

 

“That’s a good thing?”

 

“Heechul?”

 

“But is it?” Heechul asked. “I’m not sure anymore.”

 

“Heechul? Not everyone is the same...”

 

 

“You know I still remember the day he went into remission, he was so happy. He had finally got the all clear to go back to school and be with his friends. I can still picture his happy face as you and I both dropped him off at the school, he was such a happy little kid until….”

 

“Heechul…”

 

“Middle school…”

 

“Heechul don’t talk about it, it will only upset you.” Siwon tried to reason with his wife. “It’s too awful.”

 

“Imagine how it is for Jaejoong, he relives it every day, he can’t even sleep without something in his system. How can I send him to school when he’s like this? What if something happens again, I can’t bear it. He can’t bare it either; what if it’s going make him want to end it all? Siwon I have to think whats best for him, I have a responsibility as his mother to protect him.”

 

 

“Heechul we’ve been through this, this is for Jaejoong’s own good.” Siwon sighed he really wanted to hug his wife, he wanted to shelter his son too. But in the long run it would just make things worse. “Jaejoong will be get better if we continue with what we planned. How does he’s getting on with Leetuek and Kangin’s boys?”

 

“They’re friendly to him, but Jae has freak out at them a few times, he’s not use to their brotherly bricking. Beside Jae is very timid around them.”

 

“But you said he covered for Yunho…”

 

“Yes, I think that’s the most he ever said,” he laughed. “Mabye he has a soft spot of Yunho.”

 

“Don’t tell me that, let get him back on the mend. Before no, he’s not allowed to be in a relationship until he’s at least 30!”

 

“Siwon…”

 

“He’s my baby boy. No way, it’s out of the question,” he could hear Heechul laughing on the other side of the phone, “Oh I almost forgot a letter came today, Jae has to get tested again.”

 

“Seriously?” Heechul exclaim, “Great this is bloody just perfect timing, you better fax it to me. I’ll get Jaejoong tested, but not until he finished his first week in school.” Heechul dreaded those test after the last time they came back positive. Jaejoong had to go for months of treatment, treatment that made him so weak, while they tried to find a match for their son. Months of watching his decline, until he couldn’t leave the hospital it was so heartbreaking for them. They nearly lost him. The day they thought they had, Heechul’s heart ached.

 

“Heechul?” Siwon picked up on the tenseness from his wife.

 

“I’m okay, just...”

 

“I know, I’ll fax them to you.”

 

“Thanks tell Donghae I love him and don’t order in any more take out. I know you eat the food I made, it don’t even take you long to defrost it, two minutes and it’s done.”

 

“Will do Heechul.”

 

“Promise me.”

 

“I promise Heechul, now go back to sleep,” Siwon told him.

 

“Okay, oh Siwon I love you… oh and tell Donghae to ring me if he need to talk, he probably won’t though, me being his mother and all. Seriously our kids, thought we raised them the same, they are two completely different people, different interest and all.”

 

“At least they always get on.”

 

“Take care of yourself Chullie and tell Jaejoong we love him from me.”

 

“I will, night honey.” Heechul sat there for a moment thinking, Siwon had a point. He put the phone back, before making his way back to Jaejoong room and lay down beside him.

 

 

 

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will  try and update again... have to go out for a little while today so here you go enjoy reader..

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Aenkr28 will not be betaing for me for a little while. It's coming to exams and she needs to studies....

we should wish her the best of luck

 

I hope you like this update....

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