[Soomi]

 

When Jae Yeon finished signing the released paper, I quickly changed then we headed back to the dorm. I'll admit I was feeling a little light headed but I hate staying in the hospital, I felt like I'm a criminal being convicted because it felt like prison there. I told the girls not to say anything to Jay about me getting out of the hospital; he will just worry even more.

 

I wasn't sure where my search for that boy will go but I know something will lead me right to the right direction.

 

"You are going out?" Jae Yeon asked.

 

I looked at myself in the mirror to see myself wearing them baggy pants white sleeveless-tee along with my white and pink kicks. I chuckled to myself and replied "I guess so". I didn't even realise I was getting ready to go out. I grabbed my backpack then pulled Jae Yeon out into the living room. Lysel and Jaemin were behind the kitchen counter - probably making some food for me.

 

"I'm going out for awhile" I announced.

 

"Where to? I'll go with you" Lysel quickly replied stopping what she was doing. I shook my head and gave them one of my 'I'm alright' smiles.

 

"I don't know where my feet will take me but I want to go on by myself. I'll call one you if I ever get lost or need your help. Just please don't call Jay or anything like that. He's already got so much on his plate right now and I don't want him to worry about me more. I'm a big girl now and I don't need him commanding me on what to do, okay?"

 

"Are you sure you want to go by yourself though?" Min asked. I nodded my head then waved goodbye.

 

. . . .

 

I walked around a few times contemplating if I should continue or not but my feet were in command on where I was going. It was too late when I realised I was only a few metres from the place where Jay saved Minhae. I didn't know if I wanted to continue because Jay told me to stay away from this place before. And he was right I shouldn't be around here, I can hear drug addicts cursing at each other. Have you ever seen movies where drug addicts where shown in an alleyway? Well if you have, that's exactly how this place looks like. I stopped my feet from walking and turned around to head for the pedestrian so I can cross the street. A few steps forward I heard a girl screaming for help.

 

I panicked while wanting to go the other way but my feet dragged me towards the cry for help.

 

'! Jay's going murder me if anything happens to me' I thought to myself before increasing my speed. But if he was here, he would do exactly what I am doing.

 

I reached the alley-way, I saw a guy pinning a girl wearing a mini skirt, a see through t-shirt and hi-cut chucks against the wall.

 

"Get off me you jerk!" The girl commanded. I quickly ran towards her before the guy could land a kiss on her face. I pushed the guy away, grabbed the girl's wrist and started running away. We ran as far as we could away from the alley, I didn't even know where we were going. I just turned left and right whenever I could.

 

"STOP DRAGGING ME!" The girl yelled at me. Some manners she has but I quickly pulled to a stop - huffing and puffing (OH! The feeling of being tired is so refreshing). She shook my hold off her wrist, I turned my back to face her and was very surprise to see Wooyoung's step-sister; Shay.

 

She hasn't changed one bit.

 

"I'm sorry, but are you okay?" I started sounding concern when the truth is I'm asking myself why I even bothered to save her. Alright, maybe I'm kidding... maybe. But I know Jay would have done the same.

 

"Why did you drag me away for?! Are you insane?!" She asked like saving her was the biggest mistake I have ever done.

 

"You were screaming for help and that man was about to do something horrible to you and you're asking me why I saved you? Are you insane? If your brother hears about this, I'm sure he'll think the same" I lectured her. 

 

 

"Who the are you anyway?" She rudely continued.

 

"Doesn't matter who I am what matters is that you are safe. You should be thankful I saved your chickeny from getting . I apologize for thinking maybe you needed my help. And who wouldn't think you are not a hooker or some shiz like that... Look at what you are wearing" I replied to her.

 

"Ah, I get it. You're my brother's new toy. Just be careful, that boy isn't as nice as you think he is" she said while leaning against the wall.

 

"I'm not his girlfriend and I see how much Wooyoung cares for you. He's always coming to your rescue, I know that Wooyoung would kill just to keep you safe so you better watch your mouth little girl. It's alright if you disrespect me but if you continue to disrespect your brother I seriously won't forgive you."

 

I was annoyed by the fact that this girl doesn't even know how much she means to Wooyoung. She's so disrespectful.

 

"Whatever you say, but just so you know that man wasn't going to me, I paid him to act with me so the boy I like would save my chickeny . But no thanks to you all that is ruined." She explained before turning her back and marching away from me.

 

I laughed lightly to myself thinking about how low someone would get to get noticed by the one they 'like'. I wasted my time running from someone whom Shay paid to "" her. I sighed to myself and headed out to the bus stop on the other side of the road.

 

I was thinking of where to go then one place popped into my head.

 

Maybe there, I'll have some luck.

 

. . . . . .

 

There it was.

 

Nothing changed.

 

The gate was still white, towering over me. I slowly opened the gate and headed towards my grave. Yes, I was at the cemetery, maybe here I'd have some luck. I continued walking until I reached my grave. I saw a girl sitting in front of my tombstone scribbling while talking. As I slowly come forward, I start to realise that it was my sister sitting by my grave drawing.

 

"Hey" I motioned.

 

She looked up, smiled and said "Hey".

 

"Can I?" I asked her while gesturing if I could sit next to her. I'm finding me a bit creepy right now but I didn't care, this is something I've been wishing to do... I've wanted to exchange words with my sister for so long now.

 

"Sure. You visit my sister often? I haven't seen you around"

 

"Uh- No. This is actually my first time coming here, I'm Jay's girlfriend." I told her. I waited for her to react when I said I was 'Jay's girlfriend'. I expected something like anger or pain but instead I got an 'Oh, Congrats'. No lies about her congratulating me, she really is happy for me and Jay which was a shock, because not long ago she was crying over Jay.

 

"So what brings you around?"

 

"Nothing really, I just thought I'll walk about and well I ended near here so I thought might as well come down. Jay told me about your sister being buried around here so yeah. And plus my cousin's buried not far from here" I lied.

 

"Ah, sorry about your cousin"

 

"It's okay, long time ago."

 

She didn't say anything else and just continued drawing. I didn't bother her anymore; I just looked around the place to see if anyone else was around. Maybe the person who saved me is watching from afar or something, I don't even know why I'm expecting him to be around. I mean, I doubt he remembers I even existed right after he saved me right? I focused my eyes back to my grave, I just realised that there were two set of flowers lying on both sides of my tombstone. On the right were the pink-white roses my sister always buys for my birthday while on the left was red roses.

 

"You bring in two sets of flowers every time you come around?" I asked Ellie.

 

"No" she replied confused. I pointed towards the flowers and an 'o' formed in .

 

"I don't know who they are from, this isn't the first time someone beat me into bringing flowers for my sister ya'know. She was quite a popular girl, so I guess they are from her fans."

 

"Ahh" I said then got back to deep thinking.

 

I had 4 people in mind right now.

 

My saviour, Khun, Jay and Taec.

 

One of them four is bound to still be visiting me but I can never be too sure.

 

"How long have you and Jay been together for?" Ellie spoke still scribbling on her drawing pad. So she is interested after all.

 

"Not long, we are pretty recent."

 

"How is he anyway? He hasn't been replying to any of my messages. I heard about the whole scandal thing and just wanted to make sure he was alright" She said without getting distracted from what she was doing.

 

"He's not doing well but he is trying his best to hide it. We're actually separated right now; his company decided it was best for us to just go separate until this whole issue dies down. He is pretty devastated but we can't do anything about it. We're just trying our best to do different things while we're separated" I explained to her. I have one reason why I was telling her all of these, and that reason is that no matter what angle you look at it from, she's still my sister.

 

"I'm sorry to hear that. This whole thing must be harder for you though right?"

 

"I don't think so, in my opinion, nothing can compare to what Jay's feeling right now. My pain is inferior to what he is feeling."

 

She didn't say anything else and just continued scribbling on her drawing pad.

 

I scanned my sister from head to toes.

 

From the last time I remember her - a lot has changed. My sister have always preferred her hair to be long, she always says it looks better on a girl if she has long hair. But now her hair is not as long as she would normally have it. It was just below her shoulders which was quite interesting. She never use to use fakes nails, she would spend days/months to grow her nails and design them herself but now she's wearing fake nails.

 

Her clothing style also changed.

 

She hated the fact that her "fat" legs (she likes to call her chickeny legs) are exposing whenever she wears mini shorts or skirts but now that's exactly how she's dressed.

 

Her face hasn't changed though.

 

Skin so flawless, so beautiful.

 

I wanted to hang out a bit more with her but I didn't have time to. I realised that it was getting late, scared that the girls are worried about me already.

 

"I have to go" I suddenly blurted out. She looked at me and smiled.

 

"I'll go with you" she said. She closed her book, and got up.

 

"Aye sis, I'll come back tomorrow okay? I made a new friend. Isn't that what you always wanted? Get out of my box and make new friends? The ones who won't let me down?" She said followed by a laugh.

 

I remember telling her exactly what she had just said.

 

I guess she's starting to live her life the way I wanted her to.

 

On another note, I couldn't say no to her going with me. I wanted to spend more time with my sister even if I don't look like me. My appearance might have changed but I'm still me... really.

 

"So where do you live?" She asked me as we started walking.

 

"Not far from here, probably 15-20 minutes’ walk" I replied to her.

 

She chuckled then asks "That's not far for you?"

 

I shook my head while she continued to make fun of me.

 

I've missed this; the times where she'd make fun of how I see things.

 

"Come on I'll take you home" She offered as we exit the cemetery. I didn't notice before but her yellow Porsche was parked outside under a tree. "Nice ride" I commented. She smiled at me then continued on to her car.

 

I remember her car like it was yesterday.

 

She opened the door for me and gestured for me to go inside. I did what she instructed and headed inside. As soon as I stepped inside, I saw one of my necklaces dangling around her rear-view mirror. It was one of the customized necklaces that were given to me by the many companies who support my company. It was a heart-shaped necklace with my name customized in the middle - Soomi.

 

As she slid inside the car I couldn't help but think how hard the years must have been for her without me by her side.

 

"Do you like it?" She asked. I broke my gaze from the necklace and smiled at her.

 

"Must be hard, huh?"

 

"Yeah, sort of.  Every day I get reminded of her, it's not a bad thing really... it just makes it harder for me to live each day." She said honestly. I didn't continue with my questions, I didn't want to hurt my sister.

 

“But it's alright I guess. I mean this is part of life you know” She continued as we drove away. She still manages to smile for the sake of being strong.

 

I admire my sister for being the person that she is. Although hardships come her way, she manages to smile and be strong.

 

“You don't mind if I take a detour right? I just have to see my mum for a quick second to drop something and then I can drop you off.”

 

“No, I don't mind at all.”  I told her and she smiled.

. . .

 

We arrived at 'our house'.

 

Mum was sitting by the porch, I'm guessing waiting for Ellie. My mum still looked as beautiful and as strict as ever.

 

“Ma” my sister spoke while dragging me towards the house with her. My mother smiled and got up from where she was sitting.

 

“Why are you so late?” She asked. Ellie just smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I wasn't really making eye contact with my mum because I couldn't bear it.

 

“And who's this young lady?” She asked Ellie.

 

“Oh this is---” Ellie stopped and looked at me realizing I never told her my name.

 

My head fully titled towards my mother’s direction with my hand extended forward then spoke “Heo Soomi... I'm Heo Soomi”.

 

My mother stared at me with so much pain in her eyes but was trying her best to hide it from me and from Ellie.

 

She held onto my hand for a few moments then pulled me quickly into a hug followed by a loud cry. I felt her tears going through my shirt. I felt a knife stabbing my heart. I didn't know what to say. Ellie on the other hand quickly pulled out mother away and quickly pulled her towards the house.

 

My feet didn't move.

 

I didn't want to move.

 

A few seconds later, Ellie was out of the house again. She looked at me with a pale smile. Her aura totally changed.

 

“I'll take you home”

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind your mum of your sister” I told her.

 

“Don't worry about it, she just thought she saw Soomi in you” she answered as we walked side by side to her car without saying another word.

 

. . .

 

“Sorry about the drama” she apologized while bowing as I stood on the stairs. I shook my head a little then smiled.

 

“It was nothing. It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope that your mother is fine” I told her.

 

“I'll see you around” she ended while waving goodbye.

 

I waved goodbye and headed towards the house.

 

For a quick moment of my life, my family and I were... reunited.