[Soomi]

I didn't know how long I was waiting by the beach for Jay to come but he came eventually. The waves were calming down now; the water was coming down to normal level too.

“You know it's bad for someone to be thinking too much” He told me once again when he realised that I kept ignoring everything he was saying. I know everyone else headed for bed already, I don't even know why; I mean it's not that late yet.

“Here's for you” Jay repeated while shoving me the two boxes of letters until now I haven't found time to read. It was horrifying really, I didn't want to know what Taecyeon or Khun had to say to me; it really didn't matter anymore but Jay insists that I read them for the sake of him.

I sighed to myself and took the boxes to myself. I stood up and looked at Jay, he looked back confused.

“I'll be reading this in my room; I think it’s going to be awkward with you around. I'll call you as soon as I finish the whole thing. I doubt I'll finish it but I'll try my best to finish it” I told him. After I bent down to his height and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He smiled at me and waved goodbye.

How did I end up with such an amazing and understanding boyfriend?

. . . .

I got back to the room and the girls were fast asleep already. I didn't want to wake them so I went outside the balcony to read the letters. I promised myself to only read 3 letters each, I didn't want to burden myself with what they wrote so I'm randomly picking 3 letters from them both.

I started with Khun's letter because everything looks so neat, hehe, no offence to that Taecyeon. I picked up one letter and opened it. There were no dates on the letter; it started with “Dear Soomi”. I skipped ahead to the body of the letter, skimming here and there, trying to find the most important part of the letter that I could find useful and tell Jay about.

The letter was nothing but a bunch of stories how he was struggling over the life as a trainee at JYP Entertainment. He was telling me just how much he misses Thailand and that he would like to have more vacation days. This letter was during their 10/10 promotions, I know how hectic their schedules were back then and I'm surprised that he even got to write me a letter. At the end of the letter there was just a smiley face and his initials. If you're wondering how it looks like, it is like this – NBH =]. Isn't he adorable?

I picked another letter and opened it. The same thing, it started with “Dear Soomi” then the body of the letter. He was talking about how Jay flew to Seattle to visit his family and friends. He was telling me how he was feeling lonely and how he wanted to see me again because we had so much to discuss. I'm guessing he wanted to discuss about ‘us’. He told me that he looks forward in seeing me so we could talk once in for all. The letter ended with the same thing as the first letter I read.

I closed the letter and shoved it down to my side. One more letter from Khun's pile and I'm off to read Taecyeon's. I picked the last letter and it was inside a different envelope. It must have been the prettiest and thicker out of all of them. I slowly pulled the papers inside; there were at least 5 pages of papers inside the envelope. Each paper was numbered in the order I should be reading it. I wasn't really keen on reading it but then it was the last letter from his pile so might as well do so.

Part 1 of the letter, Khun was discussing about how sad he was because he and I couldn't see each other because of my busy schedule. Gosh, my sister makes the worst excuse ever. But anyway, basically during the whole duration of the letter he was telling me how he really did want to meet with me to discuss something important which led me to Part 2.

He asked me if I could give him a chance to court me. He is so old fashion, what's with the courting? Then after the questions, he confessed to me. A confession I wish I never read.

'I know I will sound ridiculous and I would be crossing the line but I don't know if I will ever get the chance to say this to you, I want to let you know that I have fallen in love with you. I feel like this is it, you're the one for me. I wouldn't be writing to you if I didn't think you were special. The moment we bumped into each other back then, something inside of me changed and I wish I could say these words to you face to face but I can't; I love you... I know I'm crazy but it's all because of you. Please understand that this is how I truly feel for you'– Part 2 said. I quickly folded the letters back the same way and shoved it back in the folder.

This is ridiculous, seriously it is.

I quickly dialed Jay's phone and waited for him to pick up.

{“Where are you?”

“I'm still here”

“Alright stay there Jay, don't move!”} I said and hanged up.

I grabbed both boxes and slowly walked inside the room and snuck out to the beach. I saw Jay still sitting in the same position when I left him. I stomped my way towards him and as soon as I reached him, I dropped both boxes to his side. He looked at me confused while I glared at him.

“Tell me what exactly do you want from me? I mean so what if I don't read these letters?” I asked him.

“Mi, we've discussed about this. Just read them, and if you don't want to, I'll read them for you” he said while opening Khun's box. I dropped to my knees and closed the box straight away.

“Why are you so upset?” He asked.

“Jay, look, I don't care what's written in each of those papers. If they are not from you then they are not worth any of time. There's no point of me looking back on these, it’s going to make me regret a lot of things. It's going to make me hate a lot of people and I don't want that. Babe, I've been given another month to breathe, to laugh, to smile, to be friends with people and to love... I don't want them to take that away from me” I told him.

“But these are the past” he replied.

“Screw the past!” I told him. I walked in front of him and held onto his hand, I looked deep in his eyes and smiled at him.

“I'm looking at my future right now; no past can ever ruin that. Jay, it's our time to write our own letters; our time to write our own stories and let the world see that this is our future and screw the past!” I said to him and gave him a kiss on the lips. I felt a smile form on his lips, and then he pulled me away and laughed.

“Screw the past!” he said and pulled me into his arms.

'Yes Jay, screw the past. Let's look at the future together'I thought to myself and hugged Jay tighter.