Changmin walks with weary face. He reaches his apartment building. He is absolutely tired and tonight he will only have ramen for diner. He will cook something more appropriate if he is not too tired. Besides, his fridge is kind of empty right now, he need to do groceries. Yunho also doesn’t contact him even he has put his number with his address. Right, Yunho just asked for the sake of politeness. He won’t call him or text him. Ever. He loses him again, now. He smirks, pitying himself for that.

When he reaches second floor, he find someone sits in front of his door. He wears light grey hoodie and buried his face between his knees. His hands hug his feet. That person seems to realizes someone come to his direction because he lifts up his head and gazes towards Changmin.

Changmin gulps. “Yunho? Why you here?” You look like a lost kitten, you know?

“I’ve promised I’ll come when I’ve time. Or you don’t want me to come? Then I should go” Yunho doesn’t feel disappointed if Changmin doesn’t want to see him right now. He shouldn’t disturb someone after work like this.

“No! No! No!” he heard too loud to demanding but who cares? He doesn’t even care if his neighbors might hear him. He can’t lose this. He can’t lose him. Not after Yunho comes in front of him like this. Yunho looks at Changmin still with cute clueless kitten face. “I’m glad to see you here. Really. Let’s get in” he wants to jump in his current place due to happiness. Changmin opens the door, revealing his small studio apartment. Yunho’s eyes automatically look at every corner. It’s clean but it’s small. Not that Yunho hasn’t predicted it before. Of course he has gain information about this place. But he feels sad suddenly. Their shared apartment before is twice bigger, even more. Unconsciously he bites his lower lip. “It’s small I know. But it’s comfortable enough for me”

“So… you have to set up bed every night?” There is no bedpost, it just space, table, wardrobe, TV, kitchen and a door that Yunho believe must be bath room.

“No big deal. It’s more efficient. Bed at night and living room whenever I need.” Yunho quickly opens the fridge and kitchen drawer only to find instant food and some canned, he finds kimchi too. He sighs, feeling twice sadder. “What?” Changmin panics after hears Yunho’s loud sigh “You hungry? I can make something but I only have ramyun. Haven’t do groceries.” He might be tired but Yunho has recharged his energy.

Yunho looks at him with sharp gaze. “Takes a bath! I’ll cook for you!” Changmin just realizes what Yunho’s belonging. It’s grocery bag. Changmin eyes keep looking at Yunho and that bag, can’t find a word. “What are you waiting?” it so sharp that Changmin feels stabbed.

“Huh? Nothing. I’ll take a bath” too shock from Yunho’s stern voice. It’s too unusual for him hearing Yunho voices his anger. Can he call it anger? Maybe it… he doesn’t know how to describe it.

Yunho feels angry to himself. He used to see Changmin’s big appetite and now he sees his ex-roommate get skinny. This small apartment, instant food, those make his heart clenches. He hates it. He curses in his head. He cooks in full focus, hopes that the food will give energy and color to his ex-roommate face. Changmin takes his time in bathroom. He has much complicated thought; excitement but also fear. Excited because of Yunho is in his room. Just two of them. He even afraid if he opens the door, Yunho will disappear. Another kind of afraid is also crippling, after saw Yunho’s kind of anger, disappointment or maybe disgust?

When he opens the bathroom door, he only sees Yunho who too engrossed of what he doing now; cooking and setting the table at same time. Nice fragrant hitting straight to his stomach. Too good, like walking in a restaurant. After letting his body suffer from instant food, it will be amazing dinner. The memories of Yunho’s cook when they still in college come. It is so hilarious, not only the food but the chef and his companion, his long lost crush, Yunho.

Here they are, sitting face to face with a table to separate them. Changmin can’t hold himself and shamelessly stuffing his mouth. It’s too long since last time he eat Yunho’s cook. It was tomato pasta they made together. Now they have fish, kimchi, tofu, and seaweed soup. They are quality homemade recipes. Catching Yunho’s almost nonstop gaze he slowing his eating pace.

“It’s not good?” Yunho asks after seeing this

“It’s good just like I remember”

“Okay” Yunho says and stuffing rice to his mouth “Eat more!” he adds without looking.

“I’m glad…” his voice sounds more like whisper and he embarrassed by that.

“For the food?” Like Yunho really need a confirmation. He cooked and he glad is Changmin likes it.

“For you”

Yunho frowns. “Me?”

“I can see you again like this, eating like old days. I like it” Changmin smiles, something that somehow Yunho missed.

“…It’s been long time I eat like this” Yunho shows his usual cold face.

Changmin remembers that Yunho takes care of his mother. “Your parents?”

“There’s nothing to do with them. I usually skip it. You are the only one can force me to have dinner without threatening and I’m kind of worry myself” Yunho says the last word in whisper but Changmin doesn’t miss it. He feels a little happy. Yunho doesn’t seem to be embarrassed by that.

It brings chill or heat to Changmin. “Me? I did nothing. What are you worried about?”

“Yes you did. My habit changes. After I left college, I find myself cooking the next night. Makes me thinking what the hell am I doing since no one in particular ate those.” He still remembers it well. In the end his cousin ate those foods and that kid just thought that Yunho cook for him.

“But you still ate those?”

“Yes.” He ate with his cousin, but he feels something weird. “It has replaces my previous habit. And since that I go back to my old habit, but still sometimes it doesn’t right. I must be crazy. Come on! Eat more!” Yunho wants to avoid it.

Changmin stops. “So you didn’t have dinner?”

“Nowadays, rarely have.” Yunho answers it with casual tone.

Now it’s Changmin turn to say words sternly. “I don’t like it if you not eating. You have become skinny”

“To tell the truth. I hate seeing you lose weight. You are too skinny” it makes Changmin taken a back. Yunho doesn’t say it in stern tone. He knows he has lost weight, but to hear that Yunho hates it, it makes him thinking he might have a rather big chance.

 

To break the silence, Changmin asks Yunho with different topic. “Why didn’t you call me before come here?”

Yunho looks up. “You won’t tell Junsu?”

“What?”

“Just… don’t tell him. I can’t take a risk” Yunho has too much worries and Changmin knows he must tolerate this.

“Okay. I won’t tell him”

“I’ll contact you later”

No! contact me now!. How Changmin wants to say it out loud.

Yunho goes home that night. Changmin can’t hold him a moment longer or asks him to stay since it’s already late. He just asks to be careful and come again.

That night he clutch on his pillow. Hardly sleeping because of too much happiness. He can’t stop smiling and when he finally falls asleep, he can only dream about Yunho and that amazing smile. The next morning his smile is not fading away.

 

 

 

It’s different with Yunho. He is in his workplace, starring at his computer screens but his mind is not there. “Are you okay?” a voice suddenly approaches him. Yunho just answers with unclear sound. “You want to eat something?” Sukjin asks again, knows that Yunho haven’t had meal since morning.

“No”

“Where were you last night?”

Yunho hates that question very much, especially because it comes out from this person mouth. “You’re not my parent”, Yunho leans on his chair, take off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. He gets a light headache, big possibilities because he skipped breakfast, but hey, he has dinner last night; with Changmin. God, he has urged to cook again only after seeing that man? Too skinny, he hates it. He like seeing Changmin eats because it always looks so delicious. Maybe his cook is really delicious or because Changmin always able to enjoy his meal. He wants to be egoist this time. “How’s that woman today?” he means his biological mom. He hadn’t seen her since yesterday evening, he even abandoned the call from hospital. He asked them to inform him if his Mom freak out but he unlike his usual, he didn’t came to hospital last night. Why? He just sure he want something new. Besides, his mother can’t recognize him as her son. It will not make any difference.

“Good” It’s become his daily routine to get information from hospital too. However it was Yunho’s grandfather, His grandpa Jung request to get that information.

Yunho asks again. “Junjin with her?”

Sukjin looks at him. “Why you ask that?” Hospital only informs him about the woman only, not the companion. Even he knows what that Junjin wants to staying by Yunho’s biological mother’s side.

“Just ask.” Just a nonsense question, he thinks. “I’m out! Put everything on my table! I’ll back around 2 pm” Yunho stands up and grabs his jacket. Sukjin can only look him in awe. Yunho is a workaholic and this kind of act is rare to shown. He seems bored and with that messy hair, he just looks like an ordinary lazy university student. Sukjin wants Yunho to be ‘ordinary’ by all means, it will never happen.

Yunho gets in to a taxi. It’s not an ordinary taxi. It’s his car with his private driver. He is not allowed to drive alone, but rather to have a nice car, he prefer taxi. Yunho doesn’t really tell the reason, but his families just agree with that. “Where to?” the driver asks casually.

 

 

Yunho eventually goes to hospital. He gets in to his mother room without knocking first, makes the male inside startled. The person he called Junjin is now stands up quite far from his mother, his heart thumping hard by the surprise he get. Clearly he was squatted before, probably in front of his mother. “Hey Mrs. How are you today?” Yunho hold the side of the wheelchair. He won’t touch this woman for now. “Have you eaten?” he asks softly.

No answer comes out from her. “Yes” Junjin answers for her. There’s a huge of nervousness inside that tone.

Yunho ignores him. “Look at me please?” But the woman stays still. Yunho sighs, he is so unwanted. He ever sees how his mother reacts to other peoples, especially Junjin. She always reacts worse towards Yunho. Yunho’s families has asks him to put on distance from her, but he refuses it. No matter what, she is his biological mother. There is responsibility he holds. “I go now, okay? Take care.” Just that. He leaves without even take a glance to Junjin. There is something that makes Yunho doesn’t feel a need to greet him although they were close before. His driver is not surprised at all with this short visit.

 

Yunho asks the driver to a tall building. He and his driver go to rooftop. It’s around mid-day; the sun is them. He sees someone from a far using binocular he borrows from his driver. He saw familiar figure through the optics tool, Shim Changmin. Right, the building is right in front of Changmin’s office building. “I just know you come here for stalking someone” His driver asks casually. He must follow Yunho to supervise him. He is not going to tell anything to Yunho’s family but it will be such a bad news if Yunho dies by suicide when he should keep an eye on him.

“You’ve collects the information I want?” Yunho asks back.

“His father was bankrupt. There is traitor on the company and takes all the money, leave Mr. Shim with huge loan. He must hide from debt collector.” He has prepares the files that Yunho might want to see later.

“Traitor” Yunho repeats that words. Why the traitor uses very bad time to do it? If just the traitor did his action after Changmin graduates, he won’t get a scholar and doesn’t have to work on that building and find scandal inside it. He might be in danger right now.

“Don’t ask me about business thing!” The older man has says before Yunho questioning it clearly. “The file just mentioned a company that belongs to Kim family is related to that bankruptcy.” Both Yunho and his driver know there are too many Kim in Korea.

Yunho is listening while keep his eyes fix to Changmin. He can see him typing something. It’s quite funny to talks about someone by seeing the person from a far like this. He stalks, but who care? “I’ll ask Chunhee.”

His driver raises one of his eyebrows. He ever sees this Chunhee couples times. A tall and clumsy guy and also a nerd. Yunho knows how to make him useful. When Yunho need something like hacking someone company, Chunhee will do it. Not that Yunho will do bad things with the company.

 

Kim family. There is only one Kim that crosses his mind right now. Kim Jaejoong. Yunho feels mad at himself. He should just guess it long before. That Kim made Changmin’s world upside down. He thought Changmin and Jaejoong is good friend. So it makes him hardly understand why Jaejoong must do it to his ex-roommate. Not just Changmin alone, but his family also.

His ex roommate is not his only victim but also Donghae. His ex has made Donghae’s uncle stopped his tuition. Donghae father has died since he was in high school. After his father died, his uncle pays his tuition. He had no choice but left college that time. Yunho finds about this about 10 months ago, a month after he left college.

Junsu is lucky. Because he is Jaejoong’s beloved cousin, he did nothing to him. Yunho has search about Heechul too. His junior high school friend. Jaejoong asked his father to fired Heechul’s father, makes his friend suffered for his innocent.

Sora told him this; about Donghae and Changmin who had no money to continue their study. Yunho thought that Donghae problem must be related to him and Changmin’s problem is pure unfortunate events. Anyway, Changmin is lucky for getting sponsor to continue his study. The question that keeps running in his head is why them? Why Jaejoong did it to them? Because they know Yunho? That man is really possessive.

Yunho has meet Donghae and almost get a hard punch on his face right after Donghae opens the door. Donghae was only too excited and mad at same time. Yunho’s reflex is good that he could duck at right timing. After some conversation, Yunho agreed to see Heechul. He however was missed that friend too.

 Jaejoong asked his company manager to fired Heechul’s father after Yunho left 6 years ago, even he know nothing. Yunho helps them with their tuition, saying that it was him the reason why Jaejoong do it and that he has lots of saving because he only spent most of it for birthday gift and Christmas.

Both Donghae and Heechul refused that. Especially Donghae since he knows Yunho even work on café when he was in college. But after Yunho told him that he wasn’t quit because monetary reason (and some other thing to assured Donghae like he can find them sponsor) they accepted it. So now, Donghae enroll to different university and different major too, he said he wasn’t that good with chemical. He sometimes visited Junsu and Changmin in his previous college but avoids topic about Yunho. He has promised he won’t tell anyone.

Sadly, he can’t even tell Yunho that he already get all the blackmail thing with Junsu and Changmin. And that Kim Jaejoong might have suspected this.

Yunho never understand why Jaejoong seems to never get enough of him. He has tell him that he dislike him. That should be enough, right? Kim Jejoong has made Changmin’s father run away from debt collector and it makes him hate his ex. Yunho hates him more when he sees Changmin eating a cheap look sandwich for lunch. The portion is not enough to satisfied Changmin, Yunho bets. And the man still needs to stay overtime. It’s all because his ex. Yunho doesn’t know if he can forgive him now. He thought he can, but after knowing what he did to these innocent peoples, especially Changmin who got biggest impact, he feels him no longer able to.

After lunch time, Yunho goes to the vendor selling sandwich and asks if she knows what the taller one bought for his lunch. The seller is remembering him as his regular customer. He usually order the cheap one, she even think Changmin is in diet. Yunho order the same sandwich, test it. The aunty selling it gives extra for Yunho because he is the same as Changmin in the matter of thin.

It’s not bad actually. But still it just a cheap sandwich. Yunho eats the sandwich on his way to bookstore. “Weird lunch” his driver comments. “Is it enough to make you full?”

Yunho swallows the first bite. “I don’t remember having lunch these days. What do you think? Will this satisfy you?” He shows the driver.

“No”

“Oh…”

His driver continues. “2 or 3 of that will do”, Yunho nods.

After that he goes back to work again. His grandfather called when he is away. Yunho called his grandfather and it’s about having dinner together because Yunho said he has lunch. The elder doesn’t believe it until Yunho says exactly about the ingredients and price of the sandwich. He even tells him where he bought it. Eventually, Yunho refuses to have dinner with him.

 

 

Changmin comes home after stay overtime in his office. He is so tired but on his way home, he holding his phone inside his pocket. Why the phone doesn’t vibrate? The text he receives earlier is from his sister. He just wishes Yunho will call him or at least texts him. Seems to be no hope for him. Yunho wouldn’t do that. He just an ex-roommate for Yunho. When Changmin finally reaches his small room, again, he finds someone. This time with a black hoodie but those shoes, he knows well. His heart fills with warmness. When the black hoodie realizes someone approaching he looks at Changmin “Welcome home” no smile at all. “You wait long?” Changmin asks.

“Not really.” Yunho stands up and let Changmin opens the door.

Like the night before, Yunho cooks him dinner while Changmin takes a bath. The menu is pasta. This night also, Yunho brings lots of ingredients. Changmin feels grateful he can taste this dish. It’s just perfect or maybe he is too hungry. On the other side, Yunho doesn’t eating. He is too distracted by Changmin. He finds it how Changmin enjoy his meal is quite interesting. Feels a pair of eye watching him, Changmin looks at Yunho and abruptly stops eating.

“Why? It doesn’t suit your taste?”, the question is so weird because Changmin has eats almost quarter of his pasta.

“Why don’t you eat?”

“Ah…” Yunho takes his fork and starts eating. Followed by Changmin. Yunho still steals glances at Changmin. Changmin pretend he doesn’t know it but smiles in his heart.

 

Because Changmin stayed overtime, they have late dinner. Changmin wants Yunho to stay longer at his apartment. But after few chat, Yunho says, “It’s late night. I got to go home”

Changmin believes there is a devil passing by. “Why don’t you stay over?” he doesn’t know how he can say that. His face feels warm.

“Huh?” Yunho surprised by the suggestion.

The devil seems to stay a while. “Well, I’ve two beds. In case my family stay over” What a lame excuse he made. “It’s late night, it’s no save. Maybe… if you won’t be late for work”. Yunho is a male and even better because he knows martial art unlike him. So walking alone in late night shouldn’t be something to be worry about.

Yunho is thinking while puffing his cheeks a little. He won’t late. It’s okay whenever he wants to work.  “Ok. I’ll stay”. Now it’s Changmin turns to surprised. Yunho feels nothing but Changmin’s pulse is accelerated. He will sleep in the same room with Yunho. Side to side. And quite close because his room is not that big.

 

Both of them hardly sleep. For Changmin it is clearly because his heart races even Yunho only present him his back. He finally falls asleep at 2 am. But Yunho is wide awake. He is too scared to sleep. Changmin is stranger and he doesn’t know what will Changmin does if he closes his eyes. Suffer? Not really. He used to work day and night or just get insomnia. He works because he hardly sleeps at night. There is a great wound in his mind.

His brain keeps working in the darkness of that room. Mostly about what he will do tomorrow morning? Sukjin will ask him right? He really needs to shut his mouth.

 

Changmin wakes because of a nice smell in the morning. Yunho is cooking breakfast for him. “You wake early” Changmin says with sleepy tone and messy hair. “Sort of” Yunho answers even he was not sleep at all. “Can’t sleep well?” Changmin closes his mouth with his palm, hiding his yawn.

“Come on sleepyhead!” Yunho squats on Changmin’s side, smiling, makes him wide awake. Those eyes get rounder and him just jump off his bed and close the bathroom door with loud bang. His heart race and arousal hit him. God! That kittenish face and sun smile. He just wakes up and has to see that?

What the hell? Yunho curses. But he managed to finish cooking and tidy Changmin’s bed. By the time Changmin gets out from bathroom, Yunho has waited him to have breakfast together. He even busies himself texting which makes Changmin a bit jealous because Yunho never text him.

They have quick breakfast and separate ways on bus stop. Changmin only needs to ride bus once. He sees Yunho walk further before lost on the next crossroad, where his driver waits for him. Yunho avoids public transportation on busy hours.

“Morning, Sir? Breakfast?”

“Not interested.” Yunho says. “Quietly follow the bus coming in 15 seconds” he looks at his watch.

“It’s not fast” he means the bus.

“Remember your age! It’s weird to think that ‘patience’ is a name of extinct frog from Amazon” His driver basically crazy about speed. Yunho never complain about this. He sort of encourages him. But whenever Yunho asks him to drive slower than usual, he’ll do with a little complain at first.

He shrugged; he is not that old right? “Well…”

“After next destination, drive as you want” Yunho is always this kind, giving his driver what he wants.

“Destination?”

“Office. I need to change clothes too” He says. His driver glances at him. “What? You gonna miss the bus” Yunho snarls because his driver have this weird gaze boring at him.

The older man knows it will be useless to say this to someone clueless about romantic relation like Yunho, but he throws it anyway. “Sleepover at your lover house?”

“He is a friend” Yunho says like nothing wrong. The car starts moving.

“You really just cold and clueless kid” he says while shakes his head in desperation.

“Hey! I know you always watching. But how could I know you won’t inform my family?”

“You hire me, remember?”

Yunho takes something from his pocket. He writes it down this morning after thinking whole night. “Do me a favor”

“Anything for you, Sir”

“Find this person, and all information, even the darkest things.” Yunho gives him a paper, his driver take it and keep it on his pocket, reads it later.

“Okay. Why is it? Want to threaten someone?”

“Just in case”

“You always prepare. I doubt you had no plan” He knows Yunho is not the type that like to blackmail.

Yunho doesn’t answer this. “… I’m gonna working for three hours, after that I’ll visit that lady” He watch Changmin get in to the tall building. Somehow Changmin looks brighter than yesterday lunch, perhaps his stomach is not empty. He doesn’t know that it’s him who makes Changmin brighter today.

 

 

That night also, Yunho comes again to Changmin’s apartment, waiting for the owner patiently while busying himself texting Donghae. He still secrets his meeting with Changmin, imagine that person would mocking him. “Don’t you feel cold?” Changmin asks. Yunho only wears a white T-shirt that has skull printed in front and blue jeans. He forgets to bring jacket since he waits for Changmin in his car.

“Not really” Yunho stands up. He hides his phone even a text from Donghae just comes in.

When Yunho prepares dinner, Changmin slightly get a glimpse of Yunho’s upper arm, he sees scratches. It makes Changmin thinking about it during his cleaning ritual.

When they sit together in front of their dinner, that scratches catch Changmin’s attention again. Changmin is itching to ask Yunho but he thinks maybe Yunho wouldn’t like to ask him that. “How’s your work? Stay overtime again?” Yunho starts the conversation.

“Just like usual”

Yunho is more interested on something that he secretly curious about. “You’ve told me there is something fishy with that company”

“Yeah… But I’m not quite sure. Besides, what can I do?” Changmin shrugged.

“I don’t know, reveal it maybe?” It sounds as a suggestion but also hide sort of encourage.

“But they give me scholar. I sort of thought that they give me that to help them” Yunho looks at Changmin, stunned. It’s the ridiculous thing the older said to him, he even escapes chuckles freely. “What?” his throat gets dry all of sudden. Yunho’s chuckle is so bright yet mocking him.

“Didn’t you tell me it was Choi group gave you scholar? Not the branch you work in right?” Yunho challenges him with a smile. Changmin thinking those words and a light bulb in his head .

“Well, right… at that agreement it was said the scholar is from Choi group and I will be placed on wherever they wanted me to. So it was like that right?” Changmin eyes grow wider in excitement.

“But reveal a scandal of a company on that scale… it must feel like a suicide.” Yunho looks at Changmin in the eyes, his gaze is so soft.

Changmin takes a sigh, “They suspected me already”

Yunho is not the type who usually cheers someone with words. So he just stays quiet before saying “I’m here… if you need help” Changmin doesn’t sure if Yunho can help him. If it’s the words to encourage him, maybe he is failed. But Changmin smiles at him, makes his eyes mismatched which Yunho finds it weird.

“Thanks”

 

 

 

 

Thanks for commenting on chapter 21... I read it after surgery and it eased me somehow...

I was forbid to stay too long in front of computer... Sorry if I can't update by schedule...

Please comments again...