A shiny red Ferrari should be enough to makes peoples stare at it. But Yunho seems to not interest at all, not even glances. He keeps looking at his phone and texting, ignore the car. Jaejoong comes out from it. He just wants to impress Yunho. “Sorry for make you wait.” Jaejoong wants to take Yunho’s hand but the younger slaps his hand.

“Let’s go now” Yunho says without looking, and Jaejoong’s fear comes back. Only a second in the car, Yunho already wishes they get accident.

“Fasten your seatbelt.” Jaejoong reminds him with soft tone. When Jaejoong wants to help, Yunho quickly says “I’m not a toddler” and the older pulls back his hands. Jaejoong drives them to a huge mall. At first Yunho doesn’t like it, but after thinking few second, he changes his thought.

He knows this place, he ever take looks on it, in pictures but never the real one. He doesn’t like crowded area so mostly he avoids mall. He even buy Christmas and birthday present online. Yunho staring at this building too long before they enter parking area; makes Jaejoong mocking him “You never go here?”

Snapped by those words, he answers “No. it’s first time” Yunho doesn’t lie. He only tells the truth. What if one of his families like grandfather happened to be here? Now he feels a bit of nervous. He should wear cap or something. Yunho curses in his head. “Why you want to go here?” Yunho asks him when they enter the lift. There are two girls look interested to them. There is also a mother with her daughter. The little girl keeps looking at Yunho like wants to tell something to him. He leans on the corner of the lift. The lift is big anyway.

“Shopping. Besides, I want to have you for my own” Remembering they almost has no time in privacy, Yunho hopes they’ll never have. Jaejoong grabs Yunho hand when the lift open up and Yunho’s reflect really work well “I want to hold my boyfriend’s hand” Jaejoong pouts; tries to act cute.

“I don’t” Yunho pulls his hand from Jaejoong’s grab “Come on! Show me wherever you want to go” He steps further from the lift

“Why you always cold” Yunho’s sweets act in the café another day only feels like dreams right now.

“It’s me, smart head!”

“You wanted to say moron, didn’t you?” Jaejoong is chasing Yunho who has walked away. Jaejoong hits his back playfully but surprisingly Yunho doesn’t react. He is finally seeing this elite department store by his own. He isn’t awing; just pure interested. On the other hand, Jaejoong thinks Yunho’s reaction is a good signal.

“Where you want to go first? Come on! I don’t have all day” Yunho becomes impatience.

“You said you’ll accompany me”

“I need to work tomorrow, don’t want to be tired so I would late” Even he never late. No matter how tired he is, he never wakes up late. He just make an excuse after all.

“Next time, skip that weekend work!” Jaejoong orders him.

Yunho gives him a rational but short explanation. “It would be impossible, consider as weekend work, only two days a week. I can’t skip easily.”

“I can support your life” Jaejoong offers him. So his Yunho doesn’t need to work anymore and they can spend more time. Because that what Jaejoong always want, to be able to spend more time with Yunho, in private. So Yunho can see that he is not bad after all.

“You think money can buy anything? Told you it is not my style”. Yunho is practically mocking him for using his parent money.

Yunho looks around to the detail, display, lighting, clothes, and worker, all. He sometimes clearly shamelessly ignores Jaejoong. He hears him of course but he doesn’t want to show any attention; can’t give him a little pleasure. Jaejoong often asks Yunho’s opinion about the clothes and Yunho only answers with ‘Mm’ or only looks at him for 4 seconds.

“Why don’t you pay attention” Sure Jaejoong knows it’s a war between them

“Should I? You have your style; still need opinion from someone who likes to sticks on dark t shirt and jeans? Perhaps you’ll ask my opinion for underwear too?”

“It’ll be nice” Jaejoong dares him, even deep inside he nervous.

“I wonder how many times you repeated those words to other people. Did you invite them to your bed also?” Yunho stares and smirks at him, all challenging. Jaejoong feels the heat; trapped between anger, embarrassment and aroused. Yunho is physically much different than 5 years ago. His always clothed body already seems inviting, wonders if he minus clothes. “Already day dreaming?” Yunho snaps him like reading his mind.

“Le… let’s go somewhere else” Jaejoong walks away first, hiding his flustered face from Yunho to see. Yunho sighs; if he is not busied his brain to measures this department store he must have been extremely bored. Yunho follows Jaejoong but let the 4 meters distance away stays between them.

Meters away from the couple, two peoples stalking them. Both have curious eyes. “Maybe they have a fight?” one of them starts.

“No! No! No! How can you say fight? They only dated a week and it should be the most beautiful time for them”

“Or maybe they don’t like each other?” He suggests, even he isn’t sure how he can mouthed that words. It doesn’t seem okay for him to say that.

“If that so they doesn’t need to date.” He glad that his friends finally realize something is wrong between Yunho and Jaejoong.

“… then, maybe Yunho forced Jaejoong hyung to date him”

Donghae looks at Junsu with a clear disbelief in his eyes “I think it is the opposite you know? Sorry to say this, still I have no evidence” Donghae carefully talks; he doesn’t want to hurt Junsu and his innocence. That boy is worshiping Jaejoong so it’s hard to make him open his eyes. Still he has blurted out his thought which is a reality. It is much easier to talk with Yunho since he can say anything to him.

Junsu pouts, his eyes look a slight of sadness. “I’m afraid if that’s what happened” Junsu confesses

Donghae panics “Hey! We hadn’t proof anything, right? Let’s have something to drink! Milkshake? Soda?” He tries to bribes him now.

“Donghae! You seriously think that way?”

“I don’t know what to say, you know? But I would like to say Yunho is a very commitment person. He told me he does want to date anyone in his first year. And so he shouldn’t”

“Even if he like someone?”

“Yes. Except there’s something fishy happen”

“Jaejoong hyung is not that kind of man. He is so kind”

Donghae feels guilty at the same time feels pity. He feels like someone who wants to tell his little brother about the real world. Good thing is that Donghae knows if he uses harsh words it will make all get worse. “Of course he is. And Yunho is the worst man ever” But sometimes he just can’t picks word.

Junsu snapped “No he is not! He is a good guy”

“He is the worst for not keeping his commitment. And he has this two faces, when they alone and in the crowd, he is too different. He is a liar. Maybe actually he is not even a human.” Donghae gets upset and leaves Junsu. Junsu follows him and say words like ‘Are you mad?’ and ‘I’m sorry’

It almost late night and Changmin who is finishing his assignment, hears his apartment door opened and then closed again slowly; just a few minutes before he hears voice from kitchen. Is Yunho gets out? Well, it shouldn’t be his problem. Damn! It’s only less than 5 minutes and he has get out from his room. He has looks outside to make sure Yunho doesn’t go out, and so he must be on the roof right now. Changmin climbs the stairs to the roof without second thought.

It’s dark there, but from the street light, he can see smokes. Smoke? Changmin looking carefully at the smoke that slowly touches the sky and there is a figure standing, leaning with his head up. Yunho looks at the sky; too much cloud covers it, no stars to see. Changmin can’t see his face clearly, hesitates to get closer, he only stands near the roof door. Then Yunho’s gaze meets his, and Changmin almost automatically asks Yunho “Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah” Changmin knows Yunho has sleeps before but wakes up; big possibilities because of his nightmare. Changmin walks closer and leans on the wall too, just next besides Yunho. Yunho stays still, he is not tries to get further from Changmin.

“No stars tonight” he says. Yunho wears a black hoodie and he swears no t-shirt underneath. He also wears matching trousers that hanging a bit low. The hoodie zipped up until his upper stomach, shows more of Yunho skins, especially his chest. Changmin tries not to stare at it. “I don’t know you smoke”

“I see you don’t so I assumed you hate it” Yunho answers, he really thinks much about Changmin’s comfort. And Changmin realizes this too. Maybe because they are two strangers who suddenly have to live together, Yunho doesn’t want to make a scene. Besides he sees the older is clean; cleaner than him.

“Is it really that good?” Changmin watches the burned thing between Yunho’s fingers. He knows this thing is not good for body. You don’t always have to try something to know it’s bad.

“Depends” Yunho says, whatever it means and Changmin fingers slowly pick the cigarette, makes Yunho naturally free it. Changmin looks the thing carefully, study it. “It’s not biting” Yunho says as it can sooth him. He swears he must be looks nervous on Yunho’s eyes. And finally Changmin put it between his lips, inhales and gives access to the smoke to his lungs. And the next happen already expected; Changmin coughs, pretty hard. He bends a little and Yunho tapping his back. But then Changmin can hear Yunho’s giggle, and finally let out laugh. Changmin looks at Yunho face, even in the dim light; he can see Yunho’s happy face. “Sorry” Yunho says, after struggling to stop laughing. He wipes the tears formed on the corner of his eye. “I should ask are you okay first” he adds.

“How you endure that?” says Changmin while passing the cigarette to its owner. Their hand brushed.

“I’m a smoker.” Few pauses. “It must be your first time” Yunho still smiling.

“Without doubt.” Changmin snarls. He feels his lungs and throat burned.

“Here!” Yunho is passing him a mug. Still a little coughing, he take it and watch the liquid. Without hesitate he drinks it, Yunho won’t poisons him. And Yunho still smiling at him, which Changmin see by the corner of his eyes.

“It’s delicious” Changmin feels so much better now. The dark liquid has chilled his burned lungs. But Yunho’s smile and laugh are on top of that. Feels relieve and happy because he can see that even in this dim light. “Mind to make some for me next time?”

“You like hot chocolate?” Yunho asks casually.

“Well, anything you cook, I like them all”

Yunho nods few times and asks, “So I can try cooking something else?” It heard as asking permission but Changmin doesn’t understand why. Yunho changes menu every night. Korean cuisine like what his mother make at home and sometimes simple western such as carbonara.

Changmin looks at Yunho before say “Sure. But what are you planning to cook?” he has to admit that he might worry a little if Yunho experiment with food.

“Just wait for that” Yunho stretch his hands above his head and smiling. But then continue smokes, Changmin has take his chocolate anyway. Maybe coughing is not something he should laugh at but it makes him feels better. He was come to the roof with lots problems tailing on him. And in only 6 minutes, he has almost forgotten them all.

After pause, Changmin gives Yunho the mug, “It’s bad, I can finish it without even realize it”

And Yunho laugh again, not the loud one, but it warms Changmin. “I don’t mind really. I don’t know why I made it either.” Someone shoves chocolate to his bag. And even he knows it was Sukjin who put it there; it was his cousin whom asked Sukjin to do it.

“Hot chocolate is much better than the cancer stick, you know?”

Yunho looks at his half burned cigarette, his smile slowly fades away, and makes Changmin regrets his own words, “Hot chocolate doesn’t kill” he says in almost inaudible then inhale the sticks again, doesn’t feels awkward to Changmin.

A topic comes out nowhere “What’s your dream?”

“Huh?”  Yunho responses while blowing mounts of white smoke.

“What you want to be? What you want to do? Why you choose chemical?”

“Oh, that kind of dream?” He understand “You first”

“Sports journalist or anchor. It is must be unexpected”

“Business?” Yunho knows well, he is Jaejoong’s friend anyway.

“My father has business. Not as big as Jaejoong’s company. He want me to… you know. But I join school journalist and it’s continue till college. I’m busier these days and focus on graduate is more important now but sometimes I send my article. Tell me yours!”

Yunho thinking for a while, but the answers really surprising “I don’t have dream” Yunho looks at Changmin’s face for a second, then realizes the older must be confuse and so he adds “Maybe I have it when I’m younger. 5 years or so”

“What are your dreams that time?”

Yunho shakes his head, not sure by himself “A tiger? I remember wearing a tiger outfit and in the pictures I look really happy.”

 “I thought you want to be a chef” remembering YH’s cooking skill and the mug of hot chocolate which the temperature slowly cooled down.

“I didn’t learn cooking because of that.”

“Tiger is a nice choice” Changmin suddenly comments, which bring both to laugh.

“You think so?” And another pause “As I remember, I already learns various things. Maybe it was me who wants to learn it all but I didn’t feel I really want it. Like, I just do it. I have a gap in my memories; there is span of time I can’t recall”

“Amnesia?” Changmin afraid if it hurt Yunho.

“Sort of. Or not I just too young to remember it. If I’m not mistaken, my cousin makes me cook for him. When I was 7, he didn’t want to eat anything and force me to cook for him. I cooked, start from easy thing like toast and egg and slowly develops to more complicated” Yunho used to avoids this topic, weirdly he finds himself spill this matter to Changmin. He put on his cold mask to everyone, simply because he doesn’t trust them. Only toward few peoples he knows that he can shows his emotion, not much but different.

Changmin nods when he listen to Yunho “Maybe you learn various things to find your interest?” he also did it especially when he was younger “Why chemical?”

“I think it won’t be far from cooking”

Changmin looks at Yunho in awe, chuckles escapes from his mouth “It’s the first time I hear that reason”

“Ridiculous ha?” Yunho smiles to him again. It’s true that he planned to get in to this college because of the trigger of that haunted memories, but then he wasn’t pick the major randomly. Although sounds ridiculous, he really picked chemical because he thought it just the same like cooking.

“Well” Changmin smiles “I don’t know what to say. You sound really like cooking.”

“Not really.” Yunho shrugged “I don’t know myself. I enjoy it, but I had no possession on it”

“But it must be hard, for not having dream”

Yunho doesn’t reply which makes Changmin worried if he just tells something that annoys Yunho. Sure he has. “I don’t know is it good or bad. For peoples surround me, it probably bad and hard sometimes” Changmin hardly understands, “Other hand, I find it good for me” Yunho blankly says. His face and eyes back to its usual, expressionless; without sadness or disappointment, just blank. “Too bad it’s my last cigarette, let’s go back” Yunho inhale for last time and Changmin finishes the chocolate till last drop.

“Promise you’ll make this for me next time!”

Yunho smiles in disbelieve, “You really like eating”

“I prefer call it as my first love”

“Food won’t betray?”

“Yeah” and they laugh again.             

A/N : I hope it's okay to asks for some comments. Thanks... ^^