Beautiful morning with too much scene for someone named Shim Changmin. Sure he can bear it, with some try, but worthy enough.

Someone knocks and followed by entering the room. That person has calculated, by this time one of the temporary owner of that room must has been gone. Leave the door unlocked.

The person impolitely opens the door is Kyuhyun; with a big pout and eyes fierce. He seems ready to get a fight with Yoona right when he sees a pair of female shoes on the entrance. Kyuhyun knows he misses something, because the owner of that room, Changmin and his girlfriend Yoona seem talked with their eyes. Something he can’t understand at all.

The only girl bids goodbye to Changmin and even says ‘FIGHTING’ to courage him. Changmin sends her to the door. He forces a natural smile, but it also an apologist smile.

“Why is she here? You promised to go with me today.” Kyuhyun can’t cover that he upset. Ever since Changmin has girlfriend, they rarely go out for games anymore. And hell, his possession to graduate next 7 months decreases the changes to go out, a lot. Library and professor room are two place to find Changmin in college. He doesn’t get it why his friend must rush like that.

“Why she may not come?” Changmin dares him. He feels like flying already, feels lighter.

Kyuhyun sees two plates on the table and the picture of Yoona and Changmin having their breakfast together comes in his brain. “She eats here?” Kyuhyun glares at Yunho’s plate with disgust.

“No. She just drinks orange juice just now.”

“So it’s… oh right! That kid’s” Kyuhyun voices the same level of disgust to Yunho and Yoona. For him they are just the same.

Changmin a little bothered by that. “That kid has name”

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. “Yeah, whatever! Why you keep smiling like idiot? Stop it!”

“It’s still early and you get mad already. Stop sulking Kyu. We are going to that game exhibition right?” And yeah, he smiles.

“Tell me first why your cheekbones ascending to heaven?”

“Let’s say that I have finished one problem” Changmin doesn’t want to tell him yet that he already breaks up with Yoona. It is the third times a girl broke relation with him. But this time, it is unexpectedly so nice to be happened. Not just that, they cool with that. But even so, he feels bad to Yoona. There are bags under her eyes, maybe she cried at night before made up his heart to end their relation.

 

 

The one who called Yunho and makes him must leave apartment earlier calls Yunho is because he picked him. Yunho doesn’t ask him to but he want to do it. And to his surprise, he has to wait unlike usual when Yunho comes early in the morning. He has wait with taxi. Not mention that he is a taxi driver, he just borrows the vehicle. “Morning, boss” He leans on the borrowed car. He playfully opens the passenger door, allows Yunho to get in like an owner of a huge company.

“I’m in the middle of eating!” Yunho upset because of food and that’s never happened before. Yunho gets in to passenger seat.

“Whoa, you have breakfast now? We should celebrate it” It something that surprised him, quite a lot. Hey, Yunho live away from his family and no one to threaten him now.

“Just drive Junjin! Btw, it’s weird you pick me. You hide something?” He doesn’t ask him to, and an excuse ‘Just want to’ sounds odd.

The older act as innocent as he can be. “I just want to pick you sometimes”

“There’s something happen right?” Yunho doesn’t say it in serious tone, just casual one.

“I’m really sincere and you doubt it?” sounds a bit whining and hurtful, but Yunho doesn’t make comment about it.

Sometimes Yunho is too serious facing thing. “I doubt many things in this world. Something with my work?” Yunho is guessing randomly.

“Don’t worry about it because you have that precious brain of yours” He starts driving, smoothly like a good taxi driver.

“Fine. But I really sense something fishy”

“Stop being too sharp!” Junjin doesn’t say this but Yunho is right. He hides something and it makes him does something out of habit. It’s not about his work but something more personal. It should be important for Yunho and maybe not. But Yunho’s family has asks him to prevent Yunho from knowing the news. He himself doesn’t sure how long they can hide it. This young man is really smart. Yunho seems to give up and just lean on his seat, looking at his laptop. “Are you really had to work in car?” Junjin asks him in annoying tone.

“Just drive!”

 

 

Changmin has decides, according to Donghae, Yunho only acting. And he had heard the record. At least he is half sure that Yunho has no feeling towards Jaejoong. Half. Only half because the scene when Yunho kissed Jaejoong replaying in his head sometimes. That’s not good.

Changmin, Donghae and Junsu have one matter now. How to tell Yunho about the pictures? The blackmail things have gone. Donghae and Junsu should tell him even they still can’t find a right time and moment to tells Yunho. And it will be more awkward if Changmin tells Yunho. It will look like Changmin stalking him. For now, all Changmin wants to do is just make him move to Yunho without care about his status as his bestfriend’s boyfriend. Of course he may do that, he is single now. He has broken up with his current girlfriend who amazingly supports him to get Yunho, reasoned because Yunho is too kind for her to hate. Don’t forget the fact that Yunho dated Jaejoong because the older forced him to.

They just finish eating and Yunho is sits in front of TV. His knitting project is not finish yet but Yunho seems to be bored and just put it back to his bag after knitting 3 rows. This is the time. Changmin tells himself. “Hey Yunho!” Changmin calls him. He can hear his own heartbeat. Great, he just want to ask Yunho go out for dinner at Thailand restaurant. “I want to ask you something” unpredictable his voice is clear and louder the he expected before.

“What?” he asks innocently. Does he ever realize he can be so cute “I’m not doing something wrong, am I?”

“No!” He doesn’t want Yunho to feels intimidated but great his voice must be too loud. He saw Yunho taken a back a bit.

“So? Just… spill it” He shrugged, waiting the next line.

“Let’s…”

And Yunho’s phone rings suddenly, perfect time. “Sorry…” Yunho excuse himself to receive that call. He doesn’t greet the person calls him. It’s enough seeing the id.  “I’ve told you not to call me around this time…” Yunho’s annoyed face suddenly change with confusing “What? She is not here right?” and then understand expression “What?!”

“Something happen?” Changmin can see horror in Yunho’s eyes.

Yunho cut the call “Um, yeah… I need to go” He sounds nervous a bit. Yunho grabs his coat and leaves right away, leaving Changmin with his voucher at Thailand restaurant, something he got few weeks ago after racing at marathon with Yunho. He wouldn’t get that without Yunho.

 

 

Yunho quickly get out from his apartment, he sees a taxi sends by the caller and gets in; mentions an address. Need more than half hours to arrive and Yunho runs to the mentioned floor. On that place mentioned by the person calls him, he can see few peoples he knows. They have surprised face but Yunho careless about it. Yunho enters a room and sees the doctor, right; he is in hospital right now. The doctor gives him the similar surprised face with peoples outside the ward.

“What’s wrong with her?” Yunho is revering to the only lady who lay down on a bed. Her head bandaged.

The doctor facing him but Yunho eyes fixes to the unconscious woman. “You shouldn’t see this!”

“She is giving me birth, I should know” Yunho says in a very stern voice. The lady is his biological mother. Even he only see her few times in the past from distance and is happily lived with his aunt and uncle, he couldn’t care less.

The doctor can see anger on Yunho’s eyes; he absolutely feels that since they hide it from him. The person who informed him about this is one of his trusted friends. Yunho asked him to find out what his family might hides from him when he sensed something fishy, and he is right.

The doctor can only give up to the young man in front of him. He has known this young man since he still a baby. “She is depressed” he starts, “She fell on stairs. It shouldn’t be the main problem. It is accumulative of her life style for years”

“What kind of life style you mean?” Yunho frowns

“Party, alcohol, work”

He quickly understands “So she practically running away is that what you mean? It’s an escapade from her actual problem?”

The doctor knows this young man knowledge is great. “Yes” he says calmly. “But there are possibilities that there are problems with small veins on her head. We’ll do surgery if needed”

“Great!” Yunho can’t believe what he heard, upset.

Suddenly a different male voice hits Yunho’s ears, “So you have to stop your lifestyle too”

Without seeing, he already knows who he is. Feeling nothing wrong, Yunho daringly answer “Which one?”

“Stop drowning yourself to work or not you’ll end up…”

“Like her?” Yunho cut him “I’m not drowning myself to overcome my problem”

“Yes you are” He says confidently. He knows Yunho always makes excuse to keep him busy.

“No.” He looks at the person now. “I just want to die” he answers darkly.

*slap* the older man slap Yunho hard. He has become angry because Yunho finally mouthed that word clearly in front of him. This older man is his grandfather “How dare you say that in front of me? Years you hide your problem and you expecting us to understand? We really hope you have losing your craving to kill yourself. But what?” He says that in angry voice but Yunho doesn’t show anger in his tone or face. There is blood on the corner of his lips, he it. He keeps calm but delivers it with words he chooses.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what had happened to me years ago. You’ve been searching right? But still you don’t know how it felt”

“How should we understand if you never tell us?” He reveres to his whole family, his voice gets louder. If it’s about this grandchild, he easily loses patience.

“And you expecting me to remember the things I always want to forget?” Yunho is glaring his own grandfather sharply.

“Stop it!” a sudden appearance of a male around Yunho’s age and his father; Yunho’s uncle.

“Dad! Please! It’s not time to get mad. Yunho, you…” he hasn’t finish his words but Yunho walks out from that room.

“Yunho!” his cousin follows him.

 

 

Yunho is standing in front of vending machine. He has insert coins but couldn’t pick anything. His cousin comes and stands beside him. He pushes one button and inserts coins for himself. He brings both of the can with one hand and grabs Yunho elbow with another; lead the older one to walk away. Yunho has no expression on his face; lets his cousin leads him.

They sit on the edge of hospital waiting room.

“You hate me, right?” Yunho speaks, his eyes fixed on the floor. He is too used to pain that the slap he just got feels nothing.

“Why?” such a silly question. How on earth does he can hate the person he adores so much in his whole life?

“Ever since we were child, you always suffer the most because of me. And I… still want to die. You’ve know it without I have to tell, right?” He looks at his cousin. ‘DIE’ is something that Yunho wants to happen in his life. He no longer wants to life since 5 years ago. After Jaejoong him, he facing greatest mental problem in his life. And even therapist can’t help him.

Because of his wish to die, he erases almost everything on his life goal list, include getting married. He has closed his heart. He can’t love peoples in romantic ways. Never. Even to his last girlfriend. He was courting her because his psychiatrist asked him to try dating. Yunho likes her, as friend. And they still are friend.

He ever attempt on suicide trial and has hurt badly to nearly die, but here he is now, still alive. He never tried to kill himself anymore since that time but doesn’t mean he has will to life. It was all because his cousin who now sitting with him. He threaten him in the past, old Yunho from the side of his bed. If Yunho suicide again and die, he will follow him. Yunho loves his cousin too much that he doesn’t want to kill another life and of course not his cousin. Now he tries to kill himself slowly, smokes and over work. He isn’t do both of it because he runaway from his problem, he want those to sickened him and slowly kill him. In Yunho’s brain, there is only one big destination to reach. Something called death.

On the other side, it makes his family becomes over protective. Yunho is not allowed to drive a car alone. No swims or trekking without supervise because they afraid if Yunho will suddenly possess that craving to kill himself. If they let Yunho alone, they afraid he will do something that looks like accident but really killed him. To be honest, Yunho wishes one of his teacher’s knifes to make hole on his body.

“My suffer is nothing compare to your. I do not hate you. I can’t” he replied Yunho. Being with Yunho since the day he born, he knows this person better than anybody else. They grow as fraternal twin, and that’s what they believe although they know the truth. But what can they do when everyone treat them as twin?

“I’m selfish. I stubbornly do anything for my good and…”

His cousin cut him “No you’re not! If you are, you’ve die long time ago. But you listen to our words…”

Yunho knows what the next words will be so he cuts him. “Okay! Just… don’t talk about that now.”

And silent…

His cousin starts “Don’t mutter your wish to die in front of other” He reminds his brother.

“It slipped out…” all innocent. And yes, Yunho always this innocent. He doesn’t even feels guilty at all after saying those words to his grandfather, but he also doesn’t feels mad by that slap.

“Aish you! Grandpa let you doing anything you want. At least respect him! I mean don’t remind him about it!” He adds. Of course Yunho respects their grandfather. They always respect older peoples, but sometimes youth can lose patience towards older.

Yunho looks at him “So is it okay to tell you only?” it’s a tease words rather than insulting.

“I’m sad…” he show hurt in his eyes while massaging his temple slowly, pretending that he feels hurt.

“I know! Sorry…” He straightens his gaze again.

He senses that Yunho is a bit lost now. His heart is clenching a bit, he rarely shows this attitude. So he opens their cans. “Drink!” he offers a lemon tea. “Just… rest your mind for now… you’ve used it too much.” Sure he knows what Yunho jobs are. “As long as I stay by your side you’ll be fine, right?” He pats Yunho’s back then drapes his hand on Yunho’s shoulder. Wonder what his brother might face for these months without him around. He wants to ask about Yunho’s college life, but it’s definitely not a good time.

Yunho smiles in the middle of drinking. “Is it your big brother time?

He reminds Yunho a fact that their mother shares when they asks about their birthday. He says it in a pretending upset tone. “It was me supposed to born first” Yunho had born premature, makes him older than his cousin.

“Yes, brother…” Yunho answers lazily. “Is there any way to go back to kindergarten time?” Yunho’s eyes turn sad suddenly. Why he must lose many memories?

“Was that you who wanted to mature?” He uses his thumb to points at Yunho.

“Am I? When did I wishing that?” he tilting his head, tries to recall his memories.

Hesitatingly, he finally answers “… When we were 5 or 6” there was something bad on Yunho’s life around that time and he afraid if Yunho remembers that time. After he grow up, he knows it something that really hurtful. Better if Yunho can’t recall his memories.

“Really? Almost 13 years ago? I must be really good person, gets my wish come true”

His cousin hesitate a bit. “You regret it now?”

“Well, time passes without us realizes. What can I regret for?” Yunho shrugged and show a bitter smile.

“… Don’t worry about your Mother. She is my Mother too”. reassuring the older.

“You know? It really silly… I don’t love her. No connection. No emotion. Just like stranger. I’ve searching about her, follow her news but it grows nothing.” Yunho puts his palms to his face, sighing in depressed. He can say anything to his cousin and he doesn’t feel weak because his cousin knows him inside out. “Do I hate her?” he asks.

Not sure about the answers, his cousin answers with his own feeling “I do not really hate her. Not that I love her too...it’s more… I thank her.”

Yunho lowers his hand from his face “And why is it? Did she give you something?” As he remembers, his biological mother not even giving him milk.

“You” he answers “She gave me a brother, you”

Yunho smiles, his cousin right. A hundred percent right. It’s not that he loves her or he have to love her. It’s not something that can be forced. But at least he should thanks her for carrying him, for giving him birth, for abandoned him and make him lived with his aunt family. He now has a cousin who willingly does anything to him. Something he wouldn’t get if his mother didn’t abandoned him. Everything would be different.

 

He stays awake at his mother room all night. Easy for him, he has sleeping problem and usually after that nightmare he is not go back to sleep and just busying himself with his laptop. His cousin accompanies him like always, forcing sleeps on sofa with his feet on Yunho’s lap. He doesn’t mind with that, in matter of fact his mind thinking about lot of things. He looks at his biologic mother. ‘Pretty’ he thinks. Even she aging compare to the picture he has. Although no makeup on, she is still pretty.

What should he do about her? Keep careless like always? He can leave her to his family, but he doesn’t want those peoples he loves to get burden by her, especially his cousin. He will do anything for Yunho and he knows it well. Just ask. But usually no words required.

He looks at his cousin; sleeping with calm face. He thinks as a child, he should love the woman in front of him. But he is the worst for lying; he knows he loves his cousin more. His cousin is still studying in abroad. He must have leaves his college for few days already, prevent Yunho from getting mad, or not he must have jetlagged now. It’s not just about him. He must take un-egoist decision about this.

 

 

That night Yunho doesn’t come back. Not even at morning. Changmin finds himself preparing cereal for himself. He only not sees Yunho this morning and he has feels lonely. Though they rarely talk at morning, although they are not type of cheer person, just because Yunho not there, he misses him badly. Changmin sighs. He wants Yunho existence in this room right now.

Changmin texts Junsu asking if Yunho attends classes. The answer is ‘No’. Junsu and Donghae also have same question because Yunho is not the type to skip class. He only skipped once, when he prepared lunch for sick Changmin.

 Jaejoong also doesn’t get answers from Yunho. Not that Changmin asks him, but he looks disappointed because Yunho’s phone seems to off. Jaejoong, Donghae and Junsu come to café, separately of course. But Yunho didn’t even ask the owner. Changmin gets a message from Donghae, inform him that Yunho didn’t comes to work. He comes home late because he needs to see his professor.

Changmin worries, his heart thumping and he can even feel it on his throat. What if he opens the apartment door and Yunho is not there? He slowly opens the door, almost voiceless. There is a strange feeling on his hand like pin and needles.

To his surprise, Changmin finds Yunho sitting on his room’s windowsill, smoking. His eyes are narrowing to the horizon. Yunho lets his door open so he can know if Changmin has home, but he failed to notice it. Changmin smiles, he even sigh relieve and decides to cook something for them. It has been quite long since last time he does it. Yunho is ‘awake’ from his spacing out when he heard sounds from kitchen. He turns his head to the door and finds a lanky figure of someone he knows well. He quits from his room to receive greet from Changmin. “Hey!”

“What are you doing?” Yunho asks thought it has clear for him.

“Cooking”

“I should do it” he meant to do it, but he spaced out too long.

“Don’t underestimate me! You know I can. Hey! How you made that tomato pasta?”

Yunho’s brows up. “You like it?”

“Yeah” He can’t hide that he happy. Yunho is still here.

Yunho keep silent for a moment, abandoned Changmin’s question. And then he opens his mouth “You want to learn?”

“Huh?” Now it is Changmin’s turn to confuse. He also turns his head to see Yunho.

But without any approval from Changmin, Yunho steps to take ingredients from fridge. “Let me teach you”

They’re so close now on their kitchen. Changmin is too startled with this idea. Yunho is not the type to have this kind of initiative. “You serious?”

“If you like it, you should learn to make it. It’s easy.”

“But I mean to fried squid”

Yunho bites his lower lip, thinking a little. “We will finish them all. I don’t mind, do you?” it sounds challenging for Changmin.

“Well, I eat everything you make for me” Yunho smiles by this statement.

 

A moment later,         Yunho voice is dominating the kitchen. He explains one by one, detail. Sometimes Changmin would ask. “Should we cook the pasta first?” He used to boil pasta first, but Yunho’s way is different. He prepares his tomato sauce first, and it’s not thick sauce. Changmin thinks maybe Yunho is forgetting. He looks has problem when he saw him smoking earlier.

“No need” Yunho says “Just put them on this sauce” Yunho pour a lots of dry penne pasta.

“What?” Changmin asks in surprise

“In order for the pasta to really soak up the flavor of the tomatoes and aromatics we need to cook it in the sauce itself. Thin the sauce with water and stir the pasta every now and then so it doesn't stick to the pan. It will take longer, but it's worth the effort.” He smiles. This pasta is one of his cousin favorite.

“How do you know things like that?”

Yunho almost slips out, he doesn’t want Changmin knows too much about him. He ever lived abroad. In fact he lives abroad longer than in Korea itself. “Well, I think I cook too much pasta in the past” he doesn’t lie. “Maybe someone told me? Or I read it from internet? Well… I don’t remember myself”

Changmin laughs in which Yunho laugh along. “You make such delicious food but you don’t even remember how you can do it” Changmin remember how he wanted to ask Yunho go out for dinner with him, but Yunho looks have something on his mind; something from that call? Maybe later he’ll tell him. Definitely not tonight. But seeing Yunho laugh like this, it is already something to make Changmin falls deeper.

When the pasta almost ready, Yunho spoons the sauce and blows it. He then un-hesitatingly brings it to Changmin lips. “Here!” he offers. Changmin just opens his mouth and let Yunho feeds him. “Hmm” he doesn’t need to say delicious for that. Yunho smiles satisfied seeing that reaction. He is conscious or not now leftover sauce on that spoon. Changmin almost chokes.

 

They eat in silent, something that Changmin really wants to break. He can just ask Yunho now. “Hey, Yunho. You should teach me other recipes”

“Huh?” Yunho looks surprises, not that he doesn’t want to do it. Changmin learns fast but he hesitates to find time. So he just nodding hesitates. “It surprise you like tomato pasta since you like very spicy food”

Changmin is excited but he hides it. Yunho knows what he exactly likes. “I like everything. As long as tasty, but spicy food is the best of all.” He declares.

“You love it to the level I can’t reach”

Changmin laughs. “That chicken wings still left in your memories.” He just knows why Yunho seems to upset a bit. “But you often cook spicy food”

“I know you can handle more than that. And you must be not human for endure that chicken wing. You like to eat with Jaejoong?”

It’s first time Yunho talks about him and Changmin doesn’t like it. Feels like being lifted up to the sky and then fall to the ground freely. Of course Yunho knows about Jaejoong’s preference. “Well, yeah. We sometime eat together. Just two of us because other can’t handle the food. I think you can handle it better than my friends, maybe if we eat outside more often you’ll get used to my level”

“I don’t know what to say about that. But it seems I’m risk my life if I try your level”

Changmin laughs again. “I understand. Btw, next week is already test. What your plan for holidays?”

“Holiday?” he repeats. There was no decision about it yet.

“You’ll go home? I don’t know your hometown”

It something he wants to know too. His hometown. “I think I’ll working” Holiday or not he always working. Only if it’s holiday, his working time is not that much.

“You won’t go to mountain or beach?”

Yunho thinking “Depends on my cousin. Usually he’ll drag me everywhere he wants. And I’m totally helpless. You go somewhere?”

“Camping with my family and go to beach with my friends” But to be honest, he wouldn’t mind to spends it with Yunho only. Or maybe bring Yunho to see his family.

 

Yunho do the dishes. He insists to do it. Changmin is sitting in front of TV, watching reality show. He should study, he knows. But he wants to enjoy time like this. It feels good. Someone knocks the door. At this time? Changmin opens it and sees a male. He is older than him. “Is Yunho awake?”

“Yes?” Changmin hopes at least this person can tell him who is he.

“I’m his father” He says like he can read Changmin’s head. Changmin’s brows knitted. This person is definitely older than him, but as Yunho’s father? He is too young for that. “Just kidding. I come to pick him”

Pick? What pick? This is already night, right?

“Can I come in?” he asks politely.

“Don’t let him come in!” Yunho’s words loudly before Changmin can respond anything. “Who asks you to come here? Just wait downstairs!” he doesn’t hesitate to yell.

“I just want to see your roommate” he sounds whining but leave immediately “Well, nice to see you Shim Changmin”

Changmin looks at him in awe, he knows his name. Yunho has friends from outside college, and from what Changmin sees, Yunho always treats them differently, like he can easily yells to them. “You are going to go to somewhere this night?” he asks.

 “Yeah” He dried his hands.

“You won’t skip tomorrow classes, will you?” It’s really suspicious, and Changmin’s mind starts an alarm.

Yunho looks at Changmin in sad looks. Something wrong, Changmin can tell. “No. but I won’t attends”

It feels so wrong that he feels his heart racing. “What do you mean?”

“Sorry to tell you now. But I have to leave college. Yesterday I got a call that my Mom comma and I will be an ungrateful kid if I stay here.”

“But, what about…” Changmin lost words

“I’ve moved everything this morning except few books for Donghae and Junsu. But if there something I miss here, just take it. I leave now. Thank you so much Changmin. You are a very kind person. I hope you can have a good time with your girlfriend” Yunho extend his hand in front of Changmin. Waiting.

Changmin’s hand touch Yunho’s without he can control it. They shake hand. It’s the first time, he sure. Like other man’s palm, not soft. Changmin can see scar on that hand. How someone have too many scars but still good looking? He doesn’t want to let go of that hand. Changmin doesn’t want to let go of that hand. He wants to hold it. He wants to hold the owner of that hand. Pull him to his embrace and never let go.

But his hand smoothly let go of that hand. He sees a smile on Yunho’s face “Thank you so much”

Yunho leave that apartment. Changmin is still unmoved from his place. He drops to his knees. He can’t tell Yunho his feeling. He lets Yunho go because the reason he can’t tell. No, he can’t break his heart like this. He run downstairs, but Yunho has gone. Too late. He is too late.

He comes back to their apartment, now it’s only his. He enters Yunho’s room. Yunho’s smell; he still can smell it clearly. There is also another smell, smoke. He drops his body on Yunho’s bed. No tears fall. They not even formed. He just drowns himself to the scent of previous owner of that room and falls asleep.

 

Changmin wakes with light headache and finds himself in unfamiliar room before he can remember what happened last night. Still no tears. Someone knocks the door, but then whoever is he, opens the door. Changmin just remembers he didn’t lock it last night. Maybe it’s Yunho? That thought makes him get out from Yunho’s room quickly. It’s Donghae.

“Hi, hyung! Why you… sleep there? It’s Yunho’s. Do you sleep together?” It should be teasing words, but it makes Changmin sadden. “Where is him?” Donghae asks again when he sense something weird.

“He has gone, last night”

“What?” it’s hard to registered it correctly in Donghae’s brain.

So Changmin rearranged the word. “He quit from college to take care of his sick Mother. He left apartment last night”

Donghae stays quiet. He doesn’t say a thing, no curse, no swear, and just look at Changmin with worry. The older has show unusual behavior. “You okay?”

“Sure” but his heart screams no, it clenches and hurt so much.

“You are not okay” Donghae blurts out.

“What are you saying? I definitely fine” He almost growls.

Donghae stays quiet for a minute. He half understands of what happen “What should I say to Heechul?” He is his hair in frustration.

Catches unfamiliar name, Changmin asks “Heechul who?”

“My senior high school best friend. And also Yunho’s junior high school best friend.” Changmin is listening, wonder where will this explanation end. “I know about Yunho from him. I don’t know we met here. About Yunho and Jaejoong, I know from Heechul. It was Heechul introduced Yunho to Jaejoong.”

“Best friend?”

“Yeah. But he loses contact the day Yunho left”

It something he doesn’t have. “You have Yunho’s contact?”

“I’ve tried to call him last night and this morning”

Remember how Jaejoong look disappointed yesterday, it must be… “Fail?”

“Yeah. It will be just the same like Heechul. He is on his way here because he wants to surprise Yunho. Oh, what should I do? He’ll kill me” Donghae looks depressed now. “You’re not okay”. Donghae declares after seeing Changmin face.

“I’m fine” Changmin still insists. He doesn’t know when wills this pain inside is going to burst. It’s like having a time bomb inside his body.

“You better be careful! Kim Jaejoong is… crazy. If it’s about Yunho, he can so anything. And I really mean anything. He did it to Heechul.” Sadly maybe it’s not the time to tell Changmin about that. He just hopes Changmin will not be the next jealous victim of Kim Jaejoong.

Changmin doesn’t want to show anything to Donghae. He feels numb inside. “I need to prepare for today classes” Donghae catches the hint.

It’s not that Donghae doesn’t feel bad about this. He likes Yunho as friend. Aside from Heechul, he is the one who can stand with his blunt. He wants to contact Yunho right now, but he now it will be fruitless. That mysterious man. Even Donghae is close to him, he knows Yunho hides too many things. Heechul is going to be a problem in next few hours, but Junsu will be a problem in less than half an hour.

“Take care” he says and leaves Changmin alone.