Sighing hard. He has finished everything on his job. A job he never really wanted. But here he is on his table of one of the biggest company across the country. He leans on his chair remember about a text came hours ago; a quite long text which gives him a hope. Hesitates, should he takes it? Nothing to lose. The place mentioned on the text is not far. Only few blocks away from this building he worked at. But if it’s not that far, why can’t he find him faster? Why they never accidentally bumped? Too much possibilities and he has searching everywhere through his busy time. Not that he has surrender, but little blurry information is maybe all he needs. Moreover because he has search in the dark before. No clue, no info, he’s gone. That person he looking for some time ago didn’t leave anything to track down.

In half an hour, he has walks down to the mentioned place. It’s almost dark, but the sky is quite beautiful; with cloud hanging and mix of orange, gold and purple smearing. It already 11 months, almost a year since last time he saw him. A tall handsome man, with cold appearance but kind heart. He hopes to forget the person but his heart refuses to. And he ends up searching everywhere possible to be able see that small face once. Moreover, peoples who connected to him also disappeared. Never once on his journey he finds him. That smile that can compete to the sun never leaves his memories.

A small café on the almost empty road. It almost unnoticeable. Is he really able to find that person who haunts his dream? But seriously, in this café? He opens the door and finds the inside is not like usual café. Of course some tables are placed but it has less warmth. It has a cold aura. The furniture is good and nice but it just simple. There’s only one person working but the customer are few. Everyone is simply taking one table for their self, drowning on their own world. No chit chat. Weird scary pictures stick on the wall. Not kind of huge portrait or paint. It look like been taken from supernatural book, magazine and even photos. Those pictures cover the wall. No huge glass window like usual café, only small to give a little of sun light. Dark and sorrow.

He wants to leave this place in instant. It’s not kind of place to find warmth; it’s a place to be lonely. The barista gives him a look, silently asking if he wants to order something. “Coffee, black” He gives simple orders instead something he prefers to drink such as latte.

He searches the tables, almost no one cares about him, only a man gives him a dark look and quickly looks back at his coffee. On the corner, a young man lays his chin on his folded hand. He looks at his phone with a pouted on his face, handsome and cute. An ice coffee on his left and a book open lazily on the table. He is indeed a contrary to his surroundings. Feeling a gaze lays on him, he looks up to the source of that gaze. Their eyes meet. Both recall memories from a far and comparing to the person in front of each other. “Changmin?” straightens his back. Almost stilled on his place, Changmin snapped with that call. He finds what he looking for so long. He makes a move and sits in front of him without even asking first. It all just natural happened.

The first man seated still fixes his gaze to Changmin, looks all puzzled and unbelievable. It’s been so long since last time he sees him. Moreover it doesn’t seem right for someone like him enter this kind of place. He thinks he must be hallucinating, but those constant staring of round eyes feels so real. He raises his right hand and poke Changmin’s cheek with his index finger. His finger meets a soft flesh. “Eh?” he says almost can’t trust the touch he made. “Changmin-ssi? How you… end up here?” Almost stutters due to surprise. He almost hopes he just imagining this, hoping himself getting mental disorder. Schizophrenia. He knows some good doctors.

“It’s really you?” he says almost whisper, throat suddenly dry. He wants to pull Yunho roughly to his embrace, giving him a bone crush hug. Holding himself hard, he manages to say words. “It’s really you? Yunho?”

Yunho swallows, “Well, yes” he doesn’t know what to say, it all too sudden and unpredictable. A year is indeed a long time. Yunho’s hair longer than before and Changmin swears he has become more mature and handsome, but still that cuteness when he was pout is still linger.

“You don’t need to use honorific right? You can call me hyung” Changmin must kick aside his nervousness. Even the scary atmosphere of the café is nothing towards what he faces now.

“Huh?” After long time, how Yunho address him is the only thing that crosses Changmin’s mind? They both must be really lost. This rendezvous is not something they prepared.

“Is living together for couples months are not long enough for you to drop honorific call?” Because he sure Yunho only call his by name once before he left that night and once when their eyes met just few minutes ago.

“Uh?” Yunho is startled. Long time leaving Korean social circle he must be careful when he talks to someone from his college days, especially since Changmin is older. “I… just not used to it”

“Why not?” Changmin’s coffee comes and he doesn’t even thanks to the only café worker. He still looks at Yunho, still afraid if he gone like smoke in the air.

Yunho doesn’t want that question to be spoken anyway. “I’m the oldest between my cousins and I’m not lived…with that habit” he almost says he lived abroad and with so many Caucasoid around he is not used to it. His cousin calls him by name. Only in few occasions like when he wants Yunho to buy something for him.

“Maybe it’s not too late to learn?” Changmin doesn’t predict that their meeting after long time would be like this. It’s not awkwardness. It almost just like goes back to their dining table but with shock and heartbeat that hard to tame. At least his heartbeat is hard to tame, he can’t hear Yunho’s.

“Changmin-hyung? Like that?” it’s not the first time he calls hyung, just it’s not Changmin.

“Yea…” he nods in agreement and satisfying. Praying he’ll hear that again more often from now on.

“Well, it sounds pretty good. I sort of like it” Yunho smiles “So? You’ve graduates, haven’t you? I can tell from your outfit. Where are you working?” If he is not mistaken, Changmin ever told him about graduate as fast as possible. Yunho reacts better than Changmin imagines.

“Choi’s Corp.” He answers shortly.

Yunho makes understanding expression. He knows that company. Even when he still in chemical, sometimes he heard that corporation mentioned. “It’s a big company, isn’t it?”

“Yes” Changmin answers shortly but Yunho can sense something wrong like he is not proud about it.

“What’s wrong? Is it a bad company? Corrupt or they give you low wages?”

Changmin smiles, try to cover the fact he faces. “What are you talking? It’s not like that. The payment is good. Tell me about you! Are you working or run business maybe?” he tries to control the conversation.

“Me?” Yunho brows raised before go back to it place. He surpress reflex to bite his lower lips, hesitates of his own answers; there are too many things he doesn’t want Changmin to know “Well… I’m… selling things… and deeds. I do various job”

Changmin nods, the information closer to nothing but he won’t protesting. At least Yunho is working. “Mm… it doesn’t heard that good” Yunho looks at him with surprise clearly drawn on his face “Too bad you didn’t continue your study”

“Uh? It’s not that bad” Yunho tries to calm down after hears about that study thing.

“But you could get better job by graduates”

Yunho tries to recall what was he tell about himself to this person months ago. But he really looks at Changmin in awe “… I… don’t know you concern about that. I believe it’s not something you have to worried about”

“Well, I…” Changmin loses his words. For someone who refuses to have close relation to almost anyone, Yunho doesn’t expect this. Why wouldn’t he think about it earlier? He feels awkward.

Seeing this, Yunho knows he just says something pretty harsh “Don’t worry!” he mentions “I had no concrete plans since the beginning. It’s not that it was such a waste. I know I would ends up like this” His families half true when they said he didn’t need to enter that college.

Changmin looks at him. “You mean no matter if you graduated, you will do whatever your jobs now?” He heard from Kibum about that musician who must give up his dream because he had to continues family business. What’s that man name again?

Yunho’s lips make a small curve. “I mean, I would not make it to graduate”

Changmin’s eyes get wider. He always got surprise from Yunho’s answers. They are always unpredictable. Gulping down, he says something without caring Yunho’s previous answers. “I have a reason to worry”

Yunho looks at him after closes his book. “Really... is it because you see me as little brother?”

“I wish that’s the reason. Too bad it’s not”

Yunho drinks his ice coffee. He takes it easy. “… So it’s not? Then why is it?” he looks at Changmin, makes him nervous and sweating. He can feels his palms wet already. This is it, he’ll going to confess.

“It’s…”

“Ah!” Yunho’s phone vibrates makes him jump on his seat. Changmin get a glimpse of the contact name ‘H’ just that. Yunho take it and only listen for a moment. “Sorry. I got to go” Yunho apologizes.

“Who?”

“Hospital” He says while putting his phone to his pocket and takes some money for their coffee.

“Yunho wait!” Changmin says it a bit loud; his hand grabs Yunho’s. But he is not care about other customer now. He has wait for almost a year, he is not going to loses him again.

“I got to go” Yunho says, he holds Changmin’s hand, silently begs him to let him go.

“Can we meet again?” those round eyes feel like a stab to Yunho. “Tomorrow? If you have time?”

He has no other option, right? “After your working hour? Same place”

“Okay” Changmin smiles, thought he still afraid that he would lose Yunho again.

 

 

The next day is become Changmin’s longest day. He tries to distract his thought about Yunho by drowning himself on work, but failed. The night before, he hardly sleeps because too much worries. He is afraid if Yunho wouldn’t show up. But it should be something normal, for him it feels like it’s a date.

Changmin needs to finish something even after his working time. He is late. And it makes him get worry more. He runs from his work place to that spooky café and almost gives heart attack to 3 peoples inside it by opens the door roughly.

He has sweats in his body but Yunho is not there. “Hh… he must have leave” he mumbles, all desperate and disappoint. So how will he able to see Yunho again even he knows Yunho is regular customer of this place.

“Are you running?” a husky voice comes from behind. Of course Changmin knows who. He looks back. “I was in the restroom” he explains even before Changmin asks him. He sees a restroom sign on behind Yunho.

“I thought you’ve leave”. Changmin is still tries to steady his breath.

“No. it will be unfair for you if we not meet” How Changmin want to hold this person. Yunho orders for both of them and they leave the place with coffee in hand.

 

“Why we have to leave?” Changmin breath has steady. That place has cold atmosphere and he wouldn’t want to stay long. But if Yunho with him, he can endures twice of that.

Yunho throws him apologetic smile. “Sorry. I know you tired after running. But I will feel bad if I disturb other customers.”

“That café is so gloomy”

YH smiles a little. He knows about that too. “Unlike another café where peoples want to socialize, it place where you want to be alone. Sometimes people need time like that. But with this big city which continuously growing, it’s hard to fine personal time and enjoy delicious warm coffee at same time. I know there is a regular college student who like that place to study.”

“It’s sort of, creepy. The picture and all”

“If the interior has warmth like another, it will be crowd”

 “But I have to agree, the coffee is good.” Changmin feels the warmth of the coffee. He admits that he like the taste. Yesterday he can’t really taste it maybe because Yunho was with him. Well, every coffee taste similar for him.

“They have good coffee. The main profit of that place is from morning sales if you curious how that café can exist. Coffee to go. 80% coffees on Starbucks use Aceh gayo. But I prefer this one, Mocha-java; a blend of Yemen coffee and Java coffee. Aceh gayo and Java come from same country but different island. Do you know that Java is slang for coffee in English?” Changmin smiles and shakes his head, Yunho is so cute when he excited like that. Maybe he just find out that Yunho has something he interested to. Yunho is not completely hates the world he living.

 

They stops on park nearby and sit on bench, side to side but Yunho makes gap and puts his coffee between them. “How’s your Mom?” Changmin asks, of course he still remembers what makes Yunho left that night. He has plans his question, especially this one, for the sake of politeness and concern.

“…Well. I don’t know what to say about it.” Yunho shrugged. He hates the fact that his Mom’s doctor doesn’t give him proper explanation. Even he does it for him.

“Is she okay?” He tries to make his question simpler.

“No she is not.” Yunho quickly answers, then add. “Not that she is in a worrying condition right now. She has wake from her comma. But… she is not good.”

“She will heal won’t she?”

Yunho lower his head, makes Changmin feels bad in instant. “Maybe not. I think it’s something irreversible” and he looks up to Changmin gives him a small smile “Please don’t talk about her… I want to forget about it now. Now tell me about you!” it sounds like order.

“What?” Changmin surprises, it’s something he never thinks Yunho would ask. When did Yunho start curious about him? He is not the type to care since college. Changmin takes it as politeness.

“Where do you live? How’s your work? Things like that” he gives examples but it only makes Changmin surprises more.

Biting his lower lip, Changmin says “If I give you my address, will you come? Will you… visit me?” his heart is thumping hard. He can’t see Yunho now.

“If I have time, I will. Why not?” Yunho gives an innocent look, and Changmin looks at him.

Changmin takes a paper and writes it. “You may come whenever you want” he even adds his number. Yeah Shim Changmin, like he is going to call you?

“Okay” Yunho read it then put it on his pocket, Changmin is afraid if the paper forgotten and gone by laundry. “Is your work okay?” Yunho seems to be interested to it more.

“Are you interested about that?”

Yunho shrugged. “Let me hear something. We just meet yesterday after not seeing each other for a year. What have changes by time?”

“Well, it’s… good”

Yunho watches him intensely and smell something wrong “… You are not telling me the truth… it must be not that good, according to your first respond” He can remember something pretty well if he want to focus. Like yesterday.

Changmin looks at Yunho. He gives in. “… You’re right… it’s not that good”

He knows that company Changmin works at. Who don’t? “It’s a big company… what kind of possible problem to be appearing? Wages?” Even he so much doubts it. The wages seemingly to be good like the reputation of the corporation itself.

Changmin quickly answers, he doesn’t want Yunho to get wrong image of the company. “The wages is good, but there is something suspicious.” Exhale “I think I find corruption”

“Corrupt? What a surprise… you’ve to be careful. They must not work alone. If they know that you find out, they might just press you or even treat you” Yunho frowns, almost disbelieve. But all Changmin notices are how Yunho cares about him.

“Well…”

“Or… they already did?” Yunho asks suspiciously.

Changmin gives him assuring smile. “I’m not sure yet” And that now an assuring words. It is just himself unconfident with all of that.

“Why don’t you leave that company?” Yunho straighten his gaze, drink his coffee. It’s pure suggestion.

“I can’t. The wages is good”

Yunho silent a bit, he thinks about it. “But I’m sure there are other companies willing to pay you with the same amount” Choi corporation is not the only company who offers good wages, there are another, or there is another company which seems to not stop growing. But the corporation Changmin works at also keeps evolving.

Now Changmin turns to hesitate. But even he keep silent a moment, he ends up tell his ex-roommate. “… Actually after you leave, there are something happened to my father business. That corp. gives me scholar but of course I’ve to payback. I got to work for them 2 years minimum. That time I had no choice. But I get money to afford my family’s life” Changmin shrugs in the end, he needs money.

Yunho looks at him, catching Changmin’s fast words well. Changmin is smart, no wonder company wants him. Win-win situation and Yunho knows Changmin knows about this and can’t blame the company at all. “You plan to leave?” Of course after 2 years.

Changmin shakes his head. “I don’t know yet. Besides I don’t know what to do with company problem”

“If that’s you… I think it will be okay” Yunho says.

It gives chill to Changmin. “How can you be that sure?” He smiles, although he doubts himself.

“Because I think you are not the type that will give up easily.”

Changmin eyes get bigger hearing this. Yunho measures him although they didn’t interact much at past. “Really? Anyway, you change your phone number? Junsu said he can’t contact you” He tries to be calm and changes subject.

“Yes…” it should be guilty but Yunho doesn’t seem to feel that. A very determined person if Changmin can remember it right and willing to take whatever risk.

“Why? He really sad, you know?” Sometimes Changmin thinks that Yunho didn’t saw them as trustable friends. Yunho didn’t even say goodbye that time. But if he wants to free from Jaejoong, then it should be understandable.

“I was really sorry for him. But I’ve to. If not, his cousin will find me”

That, Changmin really wants to hear that from Yunho’s lip about his feeling to Jaejoong. “But you dated him”

Yunho drinks his coffee again. “… it’s a one sided love”

“You didn’t love him?”

“You want to hear from my side?” Yunho offers him. Long time ago he has realized there is something missing after he leaves college and it wasn’t only Donghae’s nags or Junsu. But after Changmin appears last night, he finds what he missing; someone who forces him to eat and talk even without the person realized it. He thought it was really silly, they are not that close. But well, he is the type that will let his heart lead.

“Yes” Sure he wants to hear this, even he has heard from Junsu and even the record. He has copy of the record of Jaejoong and Yunho debating, just because he wants to hear Yunho’s voice. He wasn’t told Junsu the real reason.

“I’ll ask for exchange”. Yunho challenges him. It’s not business, but he thinks it will be fun.

“What you want?” it makes him aware but his voice also sounds challenging.

Yunho only give him a smile. Compare to a year ago, Yunho show more smile to him but he will never get bored with it. “Tell me what he told you. I want to hear his side.”

“Your or his first?” Unexpected but he wants to play it right.

“Mine. I don’t want you think I make story after hear you” he pauses and play with wet on his outer coffee paper. “It’s a one sided love. He loves me but I’m not”

He must pretend not knowing the problem, right? He knows and he has wait for period that feels a millennium to hear that Yunho doesn’t love Jaejoong. “Then why you dated him?” Changmin leans on the bench, leg crossed and his coffee warm on his palm.

“We made a deal before.” it should call a force, an ugly blackmail. “Let’s say I had no option except dated him. But after that call… the call that report me about my mother’s health problem… I can’t do it again. That game should end. I need to take care of my mom. No more playing.” College for him is more playing and less study, even peoples tended to see otherwise.

So that’s true. What a good son, he can leave his problem with Jaejoong for his mom. “Is that feeling never growing?” He curses himself for asking that.

“What feeling? Love? No!” he chuckles. “I’ve enough of him and I’m sure that kind of feeling never grows… at all. I never think about him until you bring it up” Not in romantic way at least, it’s more to anger and disgust.

“Poor him. He still looks for you. I and Junsu even bet that you are Jaejoong’s first love. The one and only man he ever love”

It’s so funny for Yunho he even escapes few chuckles “Jaejoong told you about his first love?” And it happens to be him.

“Not that clear, but he told me about his first love, he never gives name. You both know each other before?” Changmin wants to dig more and more about it. That matter has swimming in his mind too long.

Yunho doesn’t think it will be bad, so he told Changmin. “It’s long time ago, when I was 13. But even that time, I didn’t love him.”

“Peoples think you are perfect couple”

“We’re not. Trust me” He heard many people’s whispering about it when he still in college. Thought he never showed how much he hated it, he really hated it. For him Jaejoong is a monster from the past.

“I remember how Junsu want you dated his cousin, but lately he doesn’t want it anymore” Hey, he heard detailed of their date-spying things.

“It seems you two gossiping me like old woman. Now tell me his version!” He looks at Changmin with awe and slight of mocking.

“There is no such thing” He looks away, somehow afraid of Yunho’s rage.

At first Yunho only silent but then he let out chuckle, and then laugh. “… I was fooled” he is not angry he just can’t believe it can happen to him. Silly Yunho, he takes this too seriously.

Changmin finally opens his mouth to explain but not the information Yunho expected to hear. Changmin however never get explanation from Jaejoong, a proper one. Jaejoong throws him his rage and that’s Kibum and Kangin had to save him from it. Jaejoong came to him like mad man, even worse than after Donghae and Junsu took the blackmail photos. “He got depressed after you leave. He even takes a break for a semester or maybe more. I’ve graduate so I just heard things from Kibum. I… We believe he looking for you” he a bit afraid if Yunho angry to him, but he is not.

“Is he okay now?”

Changmin mutes. He is not predicts it will questioned. “… Yes… much better. You worry him?” Sure, even he doesn’t love him, but Jaejoong ever closed to him, right?

“I must be real bad because I hope for the worst. But since no one looking for me to responsible, it’s good news” He smiles. It’s kind of punishment for Jaejoong then.

That answers again only makes him confuses. First he says he dislike Jaejoong and then he asks his condition but now he feels relieve because no one asks him to responsible. ‘God, it’s not you who make this all.’ Changmin wants to throw those words to Yunho but instead he says, “I’ve told him that there is something happened to your Mom. He wasn’t believe it”

“No… I guess…” Jaejoong is maybe good listener but for something personal like that, he won’t care about peoples. Yunho kind of realized that side of narcissism of his ex-boyfriend. No break up words passed that time but it make no difference since he never feels like have a love-relation.

“Maybe you should explain to him”

Yunho smirks to no one. His eyes go sharp. “I have no responsibilities for that. I’m the victim of his obsession. He already knows from the very beginning I won’t change my mind. And my feeling also not going to change for him”

“Because you already have someone?” Changmin sees the ring on Yunho’s thumb. It has mystery in Changmin’s eyes. After a year, that black ring still place neatly on his left thumb. He is more jealous to whoever gave that ring.

“…No. I’m not thinking about that these days…” Again, it always flips Changmin’s prediction.

“It means I’ve chance” He smiles to his coffee before he drinks it.

“You what?” Yunho thinks he might be misheard.

“Nothing” he means to confess yesterday but not today. He wants this to happen longer and maybe Yunho will start liking him since no more Jaejoong blocks them. It’s the only way for not freak Yunho out. After what happened when Yunho 13, he might be afraid of people. Sure! It explains Yunho’s behavior. But he still has chance, right? His ex-roommate is quite different now. Not in a bad way thought, it only makes Changmin loves him more. He missed Yunho’s intense staring.

“…You… lose weight?” Always blunt “You skinnier then last time I remember”

Oh sure he lose weight, it’s not easy to eat properly now with financial problem. He feels happy because Yunho notices it but afraid if he finds him unattractive. “Well…”

“Ah! I have to go” Yunho swift a little on his seat, vibrating from his phone inside his pocket startled him. Sure he knows who calls him.

“Hospital again?” Changmin shows disappointed more than concern. Yunho looks at him a moment and fixes his gaze to his phone. How he has tired from that.

“I don’t know what makes her like that. She becomes freak out all of sudden, but it’s random time. Don’t know what bothered her.”

“We’ll meet again, won’t we?”

“Sure. I’ll see you soon.” He winks and promises in his heart. Changmin is stilled by that wink. So Yunho can do something like that too? Lucky for him Yunho has to go so he missed the good pink spreading on Changmin face.

 

 

 

 

So? This is it, a new chapter with different setting. Changmin has graduate and working now (so no more college life)

Sorry for make you wait too long. Thanks for commenting in chapter 20 (Husna95, adwijung, HominYC, rizahasdiana and randomcassie) and for those who sent wall post asking why I'm not post it in usual time (syanie and dwi thanks)... I devide my story in two parts. The first part ended in chapter 20 but the second part was corrupted. So I think I should take a break to rearrange the plot after Yunho and Changmin meet again and build mood to write it again. I wish I can post next chapters on time, but i don't know yet for the plot is not fixed yet. (I'm not really editted this chapter you know) +_+

I wait for your comments to...^.~