Today is my last day of group activities until further notice. I kissed my boyfriend before leaving with my members. On MCountown today groups are going to redo our senior groups' songs. Then my group is off to After School Club.

We did Rania’s “Dr Feel Good” and then Fiestar’s “I Don't Know”. “You make me feel good and I'm filled with joy” I said before taking a breath and feeling nauseous, the song was almost over so I pulled through strong. I reached behind the stage and puked, people were offering food and drinks. “I'm okay, thank you” I told them, they made sure I ate, “I love you guys”.

I had tons of fun on After School Club with Eric Nam and Vernon from Seventeen. “Misty?” I said searching for her before we left. I looked in a room and she left after giving Vernon a kiss and he said “I'll miss you”. She finally revealed to us that they've been dating for 3 months and she didn't want us to scare him away and beat him like we do Junhong.

I went on Twitter and seen tons of gifs and pictures of our performance and our After School Club episode to air for me to come clean. “Love all my fans! Please support Baby Girl even through my absence. Wish me luck through this” I tweeted with a picture of my hand on my stomach. I closed the laptop and climbed on my bed with Junnie. “So .. I make you feel good and you're filled with joy? “ he teased. Before I could respond we both got quickly irritated from my laptop notifications. He opened it and gave it to me, I scrolled down the comments and tweets that were sent to me. Someone sent a picture of a and said “wrap it up”, someone else said “ how is she a role model for young girls if she's fornecating?”, “you ”(I usually get called that on the regular by daily antis), “how could she preform such an innocent song today without feeling guilty? She's disgusting”, “I thought she said she would get married first before having kids with any man”. There was way much more and I couldn't stop scrolling, there were positive comments but at this moment only the bad seemed to surface. “What are you looking at?” Junnie asked and took the laptop into his view. I laid on my side and cried into my pillow. My heart hurts that people would say that to me. Junnie laid next to me and turned me to face him, “Aliyah don't cry. You love me right?”. I nodded, then he asked “I'm sorry I didn't marry you before this happened. I love you more than anything in this world, I hate seeing you sad”. “ Don't apologize. It's not your fault” I said in between sniffles. He looked at me “Don't be weak. You're Aliyah, the best damn human that's walked God's green earth. She's invincible right?” He repeated some of the things I'd usually say about myself, I laughed and forgot all about being down. “The ist. The cutest. The best dancer. The best rapper. A ing goddess. Junhong's queen. My queen is flawless. She's never sad” he prepped. I gave him a kiss to shut up, “you make me sound full of myself”.

                  ~Next Day~

We deactivated all social media so we'll live unbothered.

“Will you still find me attractive in a few months when I'm all fat?” I said looking down at my sweatpants. “That's a dumb question. Why wouldn't I? My wife is always beautiful. Even if you lost hair, gained weight, lost weight, got darker..” he said while getting dressed to out for the day. He just called me his Wife. Oh my god, I adore my boyfriend husband so much.