Seungho’s POV

“This baby here, she is not mine, but neither does she belong to her birth parents. She is just… She’s just Aeri. She belongs to herself.” I said, smoothing Aeri’s hair as she entertained herself with trying to pluck out the buttons on my top.

“What do you mean?” Min Jeong asked so softly I almost missed it.

“She was the consequence of a mistake her birth parents committed, and mistakenly she ended up in my hands too.” I said.

/FLASHBACK

“Seungho!” I turned when I heard a familiar voice call out to me.

‘No. It can’t be her.’ I thought to myself.

“Ye.. yes?” I stuttered when I saw that it was indeed her.

She smiled and waved at me as she ran towards me, her long, wavvy hair flowing with the wind. So dazzling~

“H.. Hi..” I stuttered.

“How have you been?” She asked.

“I… I’m good.” I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from stuttering.

I have been crushing on her for a year. Although she has a boyfriend, I could not pull myself out. But I know even without her boyfriend, I would not be an option. Who would want to be associated with a person like me?

“I haven’t seen you in awhile. You’ve been missing classes. Are you sick?” She asked. She felt my forehead with her palm, causing me to shiver at her touch.

“I… I… I’m fine. Just…” I moved away slightly. I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

She laughed and took a step back.

“Aigoo~ Cute~” She pinched my cheek.

I am pretty sure she is aware of my feelings for her, but she never gave me more than a smile. Why is she behaving like this out of a sudden?

“Do you… need something?” I asked, but immediately mentally smacked myself.

“Do I have to need something to say hi to you?” She asked, pouting slightly.

I shook my head, smiling slightly.

“Let’s go grab something to eat!” She grabbed onto my elbow and dragged me along. I willingly let her.

Just like that, she became from ‘someone I crush on’ to ‘a friend I crush on’. I understand that this is not a healthy relationship, or rather, friendship, but I really could not be bothered. Both she and her boyfriend treated me like one of them, always looking out for me and getting me involved in their activities.

***
“Yea?” I groaned as I answered the call without looking at who the caller was. I had worked full-shift in the café for a whole consecutive week and I was feeling the effect it had on me.

“Seungho, are you asleep?” The caller asked.

My eyes shot opened instantly.

“No. No. I’m awake.” I said, sitting up. I took a glance at the clock. It was 3.30AM.

“Seungho, you got to help me.” She said, sounding like she cried.

“Help you? How? What’s going on?” I asked worriedly.

As tired as I was, I managed to get out of bed, throw on my coat and raced to where she told me she was. When I got there, I expected to see only her, but I was wrong.

“Hyung?” I called out when I saw her boyfriend as well.

To say my heart did not ache would be a lie. But then again, I was foolish enough to think that in times of trouble she would come to me only, instead of her boyfriend.

“Seungho, sit down.” He gestured.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

I watch them whisper among themselves, softly arguing over something I could not hear.

“Is this some sort of prank? If so, then congratulations, you’ve succeeded. I feel really pranked. I’m leaving.” I said, losing patience.

“Seungho! Wait!” She grabbed onto my hand just as I stood up to walk away.

She took a quick glance at her boyfriend who nodded at her. She looked back at me with eyes I would never forget.

“I’m pregnant.” She said.

“What?” I asked. Were my ears playing a trick on me?

“I’m pregnant.” She said again, her hands tightening against mine.

“And we need your help.” She pleaded.

“Please.” Her boyfriend said, holding my hand as well.

I stared at the both of them, feeling a never-felt-before confusion. Just what in the world is this about?

“How?” I asked, despite knowing I should have just walked away.

“My parents will kill us if they know about it. I cannot let them know. I cannot have the baby.” She said.

“You want to abort the baby?! But the baby is innocent!” I exclaimed.

“I don’t want to abort the baby! I know the baby is innocent! Exactly because of this reason, I need your help!” She is crying now.

“How? What do you want me to do? I’m no gynae. I… What do you want me to do?” I asked, feeling myself shaking.

“All you have to do, Seungho, is to just take care of the baby for us.” Her boyfriend said.

“What?” I asked.

“She has told her parents that she will be away on a school trip for half a year, and they believed her. After the baby is born, help us look after the baby. Don’t worry about the money. I will work. We will work. We will finance you. Help us, Seungho ah. We want to be parents too, but we can’t.” He pleaded.

“What makes you think that I can?” I asked.

“You’re our only hope, Seungho ah~ You’re the baby’s only hope.” She said, taking my hand and pressing it against her belly.

I am not sure if I was hallucinating it or I really felt it, but there was a gentle kick, and as though it had kicked the words out of my mouth, I said yes.

***
For the whole half a year, I really felt like I was the baby’s father as well. I answered to her cravings diligently, I did my part in making sure she was feeling good. I would get nervous the moment she said something about the baby. The affection I had with the baby grew unknowingly.

It was only the day she went into labour that it finally hit me in my face the fact I am not the baby’s father. The nurse did not allow both of us into the room with her. She said only the baby’s father could be in there.

I took a step back.

“Go, Seungho ah. You’re more of a father than I am.” He said.

“No. You’re the baby’s father. I am just… just…” I could not find a word to describe myself. What exactly am I to the baby?

“Seungho~” He said, squeezing my arm tightly.

“Go.” I said, pushing him in.

I waited outside anxiously, pacing up and down, until I heard a loud cry.

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” I laughed so hard I started crying. I never knew it was possible to feel so much joy.

***
“Here, Seungho. Hold her.” He said as he put the baby girl in my arms.

This is my first time carrying a baby. I never knew they were so soft, like if I used any more strength, they would break. The baby girl wiggled in my arms, shifted herself into a comfortable position, and then fell asleep.

“Oh my gosh~” I muttered, staring at the angel-like figure in my arms.

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” She said.

I looked up at her.

“Yea. She’s… she’s… baby~” I said randomly.

They burst into laughter.

“Aren’t you a baby too?” She said.

They started talking among themselves, but I never heard any of it. My eyes and ears were all fixed on the baby in my arms. Is this how all fathers feel?

/END OF FLASHBACK

“So, where are they now?” Min Jeong asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t care.” I said.

“But…” She muttered.

“For the first month, they came to visit the baby almost every day. They bought stuff like the crib, clothes, milk powder, diapers, but that’s all. After that, they disappeared completely. And it was only until then did I realize that this whole ‘befriend Seungho’, and ‘I am pregnant’ wasn’t so much of a coincidence after all. It was so well-planned, and despite there being an obvious loophole, I was too blind to see.” I said.

“What?” She asked.

“She was already pregnant when she came to befriend me. She knew I was in love with her. She knew I would fall right into that trap, and sure enough I did.” I said.

Min Jeong bit her lower lip. She looked like she wanted to say something, but did not know what to say.

“OPPS!” Aeri exclaimed, breaking the awkwardness. In her hand was the button that was supposedly on my shirt.

“Baby! What are you doing?” I asked, eyes widened.

She put the button on my chest and pretended that nothing happened. I rolled my eyes and ruffled her hair. How could I ever get angry with her?

“And so, you just… took up the responsibility to raise her?” Min Jeong asked finally.

“Don’t look at me like as if I am some saint. Because I am not.” I said.

/FLASHBACK

“STOP CRYING!!!!” I yelled at the baby.

She has been crying since an hour ago and it was annoying.

“ING STOP!!” I shook her crib, causing her to cry even louder.

It has been three months since my so-called friends abandoned their baby, leaving the responsibility to me. I was tired from having to work and take care of her. Because of her, I had to quit school too. I hated this girl, because she reminded me of my stupidity.

“That’s it.” I muttered to myself as I grabbed her blanket and wrapped her in it.

She stopped crying instantly, but I was too numb to feel. With her in my arms, I headed outside. I walked around, looking for a secluded spot.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered to her as I place her into a cardboard box.

“I… I just can’t. You… you make my already terrible life even more horrible. I just can’t.” I said to her.

To my surprise, she did not cry. All she did was stare at me with her big eyes.

“Do you understand me? I can’t raise you. I don’t have what it takes. You’re a ing mistake, a ing burden.” I said.

“Someone will come and get you. You’re better off that way.” I continued. Although I was telling that to her, I was actually also convincing myself that this was the correct thing to do.

Leaving her here for another couple to find her and hopefully raise her well. It is a risk, but every risk is also an opportunity, is it not?

“Grow up well. I hope.” I said, taking a last glance at her before turning my back away.

As I walked, I expected to hear her cry, but it was dead silent. Was she glad that I let her go?

/END OF FLASHBACK

Min Jeong was staring at me blankly, seemingly in huge shock.

“I know, I know. I’m just… horrible.” I said.

“No. No. No, you’re not.” She said.

“Come on~” I rolled my eyes.

“Seungho, you’re awesome. You’ve no idea how awesome you are.” She said.

“How am I awesome? I ing tried to abandon her, just like her parents did. I deserve to die even more because while her parents abandoned her in a warm home, I abandoned her on the street on the coldest day of the winter!” I exclaimed.

“But you went back for her, didn’t you? Or else, she wouldn’t be here today, sitting on your stomach, trying to rip your blouse apart.” Min Jeong said.

I kept quiet. Yes, I did went back for her. Five minutes into abandoning her, I ran back to her, because I could not do it. I could not convince myself that it was the right thing to do. And despite it just being five minutes, I was so scared to death that someone might have taken her away.

“You went back for her, and that’s enough.” She said, squeezing my hand.

“You know what she did when I ran back to her?” I asked, recalling.

Min Jeong shook her head.

“This silly girl smiled at me. I guess she thought I was playing some sort of hide and seek with her.” I said, smoothing Aeri’s hair.

“No. I’m sure she was thinking to herself: See, I told you, you can’t leave me for long.” Min Jeong said.

“Perhaps that.” I laughed.

Aeri stared at the both of us and then started giggling too.

“What so funny?” I asked, cupping her chubby cheeks.

I felt a tug at my chest, and Aeri raised her tiny fist. Buried inside her first was another button from my blouse.

“Opps~” She stuck out her lower lip, widening her already huge eyes, looking as innocent as ever.

“What do I do with you?” I mumbled, feeling so defeated by this baby girl.

Min Jeong was a laughing mess. Aeri saw Min Jeong laughing and started laughing too. I could not help but laugh as well. The effect these girls have on me~