I am staring at him, starting at him with nothing but an expressionless face. I don't know what to do. Two years. Two years Yonghwa, it's been two years. I don't even know what to expect anymore, if I'll embrace him like I used to be, kiss him like I wanted to touch his lips. Or simply just ask why did you leave me? I am looking at his eyes, as his eyes we're looking at the shirt I'm wearing, the blood stains came from my wounded fingers. 
Even the blood are dropping like hell, I don't feel any pain.
I feel numb. 

He didn't say anything at all, but he had the guts to come inside and finding something. I'm dumbfounded and glued where I was standing since I opened the door. 
The irony of my silly heart, I'm praying that one day he'll come back and run for me, but now he's here. He is really here, I can't even utter that I miss him. 

"Sit." He said, while he is holding the first aid kit from our bathroom. 

Sit.
So this is what's going on. 
Sit. 

My tears are breaking out, but still not going down my cheeks. As if the world is declining my tears to fall, because it'll be an act of cowardliness of mine. I sit beside him and his scent was all over me again. Those familiar scent, I missed them so much. He grabbed both of my hands and made them fall on his lap. He is cleaning my wounds, but I think that thing is not what he supposed to cure. 
Not my fingers. 
It's my heart he needs to heal. 

I just keep on staring at him while he is putting little bandages on my fingers. After that he stood up and went to my room. He's cleaning up the broken glasses. 

I'm confused. I don't know what to do. Is this some kind of torture. Why he isn't talking to me? Is he waiting for me to say something? 
But he's the one who needs to speak up, right? It is not me. 

"Are you okay?" 

I gather myself together and tried to stand. Are you okay? The hell, I am not okay. I have been in wrong for two years. Waiting for you, loving you. I am not okay, Yonghwa. 

Lies. 

I nodded. 

I walked on my room and sit on my bed. He followed me, and sit beside me. We are not talking. I feel his breath, like we used to feel back then. 
I took a deep breath. I needed to take a step forward so we can walk side by side. 
Destiny.
I'll let my efforts to be my destiny. Not destiny alone. 

I bit my lips and tried to face him as near as I can be. His eyes were the same, those eyes I loved. Those eyes I adored all my life. "Why did you leave me?" That question was the one I wanted to ask for two lonely years. 

He stared back. "I never left you."

I never left you.

I never left you.

This is bull. I'm cursing myself. I can't take this pain. "You left me, two years ago. We we're happy. But you left me." I said while sobbing. 

"I didn't." He insisted. 

"Lies." I blurted. "You know how much pain you caused me for two years, I can't seem to move on because loving you is way better remembering even the hurt won't try to make me sleep." I bit my lip, again. 

"I want to hug you, kiss you, make up to you right now, Shinhye." He solemnly said to me, that was music on my ears for God's sake. "Two years, three months and two days, to be exact." He cupped my face. "I haven't felt you near on those times." 

I grabbed his hands wrapping my face and let it down. "I'd love to. How I badly want to do that with you too. But please tell me what went wrong." I cried. "Just tell me the reason.." I stopped, I suddenly remembered Jieun has said. "Did you fall out of love with? Don't you love me an--

He grabbed my shoulders and kissed me, on my lips who longed for his kisses. I missed him. He moved his lips softly like candies, his lips were the sweetest. 
He is kissing me. 
But why he wouldn't just tell me the reason. 

I moved back. "Yonghwa, please." I begged. 

He stood up. "I'm sorry." 

I'm sorry.
We're back on again, on the first page of apologizing with things. Why is he saying sorry? And now he's leaving again? He's leaving me again? 

He started to walk, those sounds of his footsteps were the heaviest noise I've heard all my life. He's leaving again, he is. 

"You are going to leave me again, Yonghwa?" I stood up also, grabbed his waist and tried embrace him from back. "Don't leave me." Maybe I'm the most stupid woman in this world. Going after what a person that left me already without any acceptable reason. I keep chasing a summer in a cold winter night. I've been a fool of love, a believer in destiny. I feel the magic of love and fantasy, and I find myself can't get enough of my destiny, my Yonghwa. "Don't walk away from me." 

"You have been so good, Shinhye." He shook his head. "And I've never been that deserving." 

I wiggled my head. "Who are you to say that? You don't know what you did to me. I've never been this good without you." I sobbed on my broad back. 

"We we're happy. I am the most happiest man that day. Two years ago." He stated. "But then, one moment, I got scared. I got ing scared that what if you'll not love me anymore. What if that time we are happy but any moment you'll leave me because you'll fall out of love with me?" He cried like a kid. "So that's why I left you that day. I was ing immature and scared." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "But, that was the greatest mistake I've done in my life. Leaving you that day, when you are smiling like an angel. When your eyes were shining because of me." I left his tears were falling on my hands. "I'm sorry, Shinhye. I'm really sorry for being this coward and scared man." 

"But, I made up my mind. I'll gamble. I will be with you. Now. And I'm sorry for doing this, like I am the one who has the control of our lives. Coming back and such." He squeezed my hands again. "I love you and even someday, someday if there's a chance that you'll push me. I don't care, I'd still be your Yonghwa." 

I love you and even someday, someday if there's a chance that you'll push me. I don't care, I'd still be your Yonghwa.

"Destiny is playing with us, Yonghwa." I said. "I love you and I had never been happy alone. And there will be no chance of me pushing you away. I am your Shinhye." 

"Can I go back with your life now?" He asked. 

I faced him, and smiled. "Silly, I never let you leave my heart. You were in my heart all this time." 

"I'm sorry, I had been scared." He kissed my cheeks. "I had been scared for nothing, and just caused pain to us." He kissed my cheeks again. "Thank you." 

"For what?"

"For everything, since I laid my eyes on you, back then when you are playing some music while the cherry blossoms were falling on your head, I knew back then and I'm sure that you are my destiny." He paused. "I just messed everything up." 

"You're back, and that's all that matters to me." I smiled. "I'd still do what I did over and over for you."

He cupped my face and kissed my lips passionately. I gladly replied his kisses, I am feeling him again. 
Without any hesitations. Without being scared what's going to happen at times we are happy and carefree. I search for his neck to have support because I might fell. 

"I miss you." He said between our kisses. "I miss you so much."