Destiny simply means you and me. 

He said that to me while we are in Busan, that was the second time we came back there. After all the things we've been through. 
After all the hardships and sacrifices we've been through. He's my destiny, I know he is. That time I saw him back then, rocking like there's no tomorrow one night at our university. I knew that time, I can be his. 

Destiny made us meet in Busan.
We've been friends, been in love in a span of weeks. We have the best moments. We confessed. 

But then, there's a time he needed to go back on his world. Being the world star, Jung Yonghwa. 
The mighty leader of CNBlue. 
He came back to his world. I waited for the day we've meet again. Then, as the destiny gave me the knock, I realized myself going to his world. I went on his world, knowing nothing. 

I remember that fan signing event. I queued, and never let him see me until I say my name to him. That day, our story continues. 
We are the happiest two, we are the destined two. 

We had sacrifices and hindrances. 
We had simple jealousy things.

Destiny simply means you and me. 

I smiled. 

Destiny simply you and me.

It's not true. 
Those words are never true. 
He left me. 
Yonghwa left me. 
I don't even know why and what are the reasons. 

One day, while we are in the midst of laughing, talking like there's no tomorrow, his face frown and never step back at me. 
He just left me. 
And I don't know why. 

. Those words. 
He even kissed me that day. 
What happened? 

It's been two years. Two long years since he left me. I talked to everybody around him, his co-members, President, his parents. But no one has a concrete idea why he did that. 
Nobody knows. 

"He loves you so much, Shin. I don't know why he did that to you." I remembered Minhyuk said that day. "He is your life, Shinhye. He even fight for you back then, I don't know. I'm sorry." President said. 

"He won't just tell me the reason." His Mom said to that day, while I'm sobbing like a little kid on her lap. 

I thought when I had him, everything will be alright.
I thought that was the one. That he is the one.

But now, I'm crawling back to when I started, but I just can move back. 
Because to begin with, it is all him where I started. 

. I'm lost. 
I'm lost for two long years. 

I'm lost in love. 
Two long years, I've been lost in love for Yonghwa. 
I missed him. 
And I don't hate him for leaving. I just want a reason why he did that. Even it hurts. If it's because I'm not, or he realized I'm not that good for him, then I'll let him go. I will never step forward to him anymore. I just want to see him happy. 
If he's happy without me, then I'll be happy somehow. 

Destiny simply means you and me. 

Tears coming down again. Two years.
Two years and I can't still move on. 

"Knock knock." I heard Jieun said verbally the words while knocking my door. I tried to smile and see my reflection on my mirror. 

"Hey, Jieun." I smiled. "Why?" 

"I just want to say I'm out tonight. With Minhyuk." She smiled. 

I nodded. Yes, Jieun and Minhyuk ended up together. I simply asked myself. What about me and Yonghwa? I sighed. "O-okay. Have fun." I slowly closed the door but Jieun entered her hand.

"Shinhye, two years." She nearly shouted. "It's been two in years. Everybody moved on. Why can't you?" 

I stared at my friend. I know, I know she's just worried about me. But I can't let go. Since I don't know the mistake I've done. I don't know a thing. So, maybe I can't let go of anything.
I can't hate him also.
I just keeping on loving him, despite of the two years that we never saw each other. 

"I just want a reason." I cried. "One reason is enough." 

"He doesn't love you anymore." Jieun said coldly. "You get that? Yonghwa doesn't love you anymore. Now, move on and get back to the bubbly Shinhye I knew." She left me there, as my tears never ceased up. 

Yonghwa doesn't love me anymore? That was the reason? One reason? 

He doesn't love you anymore. 

I slowly collapse my tired body on the cold floor. He doesn't love me anymore. 
That's the only reason I don't want to hear, that he just fall out of love of me.

I can accept all the things and reasons, but not that one. 
Not that he doesn't love anymore. It is only Jieun who said but my heart were broken into pieces. What if it is Yonghwa, who said it? 
Maybe that's the death of my heart. 

Where is the destiny now? Why he wouldn't lift me up and tell me nothing is true about the things Jieun said to me? Where the is that destiny? I've been waiting for two years for him to show up, but destiny didn't even let me feel him. I even had the gifts, the ring he gave me after their concert in Madison, where I stood up and sing for him. 
I thought that was the greatest achievement of our lives, I thought that was forever. 

But it's not.

Once again.
Destiny simply means you and me. 

I dropped the star glass I made for him, not that I hate him.
But I pity myself. 
I pity myself for not letting go of Yonghwa, when everybody had move on.

It just me. And my waiting for destiny. 
Just me and my broken destiny. 

I was down getting all the scattered broken glass, with my broken heart and soul. I feel numb. I feel nothing. I see blood but I don't feel anything, I am accustomed to pain for two years now.
And I don't feel a thing. 

I heard doorbells. Maybe Jieun forgot her phone again, she does that every time. I wiped the blood on my white shirt and went to her room to get her phone. 
But her phone wasn't there. 

I run to the door and slowly opened it for Jieun.

I was expecting for Jieun. 
I was expecting that she left her phone.

But what I was expecting are lies. 

I opened the door, and saw Jung Yonghwa. 
He's wearing simple blue shirt and jeans. Just like what he suit two years ago. I stared at him. It's been two years since I saw his calm face. 
I missed him to death, but all I can do now is stare. 

I didn't expect this would be happening. Right now, he would be knocking at my door. I never imagined this.

But I'm silent praying every night that he would come back. 

__________________________________________

DIRS EP.

This story was my first and I'll never forget this.

Thank you~ 

Love,

Dokmishin