Jiyeon’s P.O.V

The more I thought about who I wanted to see next to me when I woke up, the more confusing things got. I knew who it would be, but who would I want it to be? That’s more important.

I don’t know when I got so fickle myself; I was almost certain that these feelings for Kikwang had left, but could I ever really forget him? Why was I letting my heart beat for him again? Was Kikwang back in the race for my heart?

…

…

…

‘AISH! JIYEON!! YOU’RE GOING CRAZY!’ I began kicking the sheets/bed.

“Are you okay?” I heard Kikwang say as he was attempting to stand up.

“ah.ha” ‘’ “yah, bad dream.. how are you feeling?”

“It feels like someone just dropped a break on my head.”

Without hesitation, I reached for his forehead. We were now 2 inches away from each other. I felt my heart ‘thump, thump’ rapidly. Why was I letting myself feel like this?

“uhhh.” I pulled away “your fever has gone down. I think you’ll be okay today.”

“ahhh..”

As I walked to the dresser, I couldn’t help but put a hand to my chest.

“Jiyeon?”

‘I can’t see your face right now, my heart won’t be able to handle it. Please don’t make me turn around.’

All of a sudden, I felt a familiar embrace. How long had it been since I was in this position, a part of me didn’t want him to let go… I guess I was letting things get this bad.

“Thank you, for staying by my side instead of his last night.”

‘His?’ that’s when I knew what I was doing was wrong.

“Let go of me Kikwang.”

“No. Can’t you just accept my heart?”

“No. I can’t accept it.” did he think this was some kind of game?

“I only stayed with you because you know how much I hate seeing people suffer; not because I chose you over Yoseob. I will never put Yoseob in a position where he would have to come second to anyone in my life. I know how that feels, and I don’t want Yoseob to ever suffer because of me.”

“Are you saying you came second to me all the time? Then who do you think came first?”

“You.” I let out in a monotone voice. It was depressing saying it out loud.

“You seriously believe that? Do you know how much it killed me seeing you suffer yesterday? I wanted to be the one to run to you and save you from Chunji, but no matter how much I thought about it, the last person you would ever want to see save you is me.”

“That’s a lie. Yesterday, my heart yearned for you to come and save me.” I let myself out of his embrace; I guess my words really got to him because it wasn’t difficult to escape. I didn’t want to see his face, because if I did, it would only make me madder.

“But you know what? I’m glad Yoseob came; a part of me knew you weren’t going to show up. My heart knew it for sure, because the more I waited, the more I wanted to see Yoseob’s face instead of yours come through those doors. No matter how many times I think my heart might sway between you and Yoseob, I know one thing.”

“And what is that? What’s that one thing that makes Yoseob have the upper hand in this situation?”

“I know Yoseob loves me, and that I love him. Everything is mutual, I don’t have to play a guessing game.”

“So right now isn’t enough to show you how much I want to be with you? Even if you want me, you’ll still go to Yoseob? Doesn’t that seem unfair to him?”

“I wouldn’t go to Yoseob if I didn’t want him.”

“What becomes of us then? I never have a shot again?”

“I think right now I should tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“It’s about IU.”

“ How come she always comes up when we are talking about US! I don’t care about her anymore. I broke up with her yesterday; how can you be so clueless and listen to her when she asked you to let go of me? Were your feelings that weak to forget me so easily?”

“My best friend..” I had to think about that term, we weren’t best friends anymore were we?

“IU meant more to me at that time.” That was a lie. I loved him to death, but I didn’t want to see IU suffer because of my feelings for Kikwang.

“So your happiness means nothing? What do you think IU would’ve done if I hadn’t stayed with her? Do you think she would’ve done something stupid, like commit suicide?” how did he…

“Kikwang, yesterday…yesterday---IU“ this was hard. I knew if I said this, he would run to her; a part of me never wanted to see that happen again.

“Yesterday I broke up with her, I told you.”

“After that, IU…she tried drowning herself. Wooyoung saved her. She didn’t want to live if you weren’t by her side anymore.” The room became cold. The hot air from the conversation before had managed to be soaked up by a sudden rush of darkness. Kikwang was speechless.

“That’s why you need to go to her, Kikwang. She likes you more than you know.” The next part was going to sting my heart a little but it had to be said.

“Her feelings for you are stronger than mine. You need to go to her, and we need to be nothing more than friends.” With that, I walked to my suitcase and pulled out my clothes for the day. I couldn’t help but let out another tear. There really was only one person left next to me, and that was Yoseob. If I lost him, I don’t know what I would do.

“Jiyeon. I’m not giving up on us. I know you still love me, I see the ring on your necklace. If you didn’t love me, you wouldn’t be wearing it next to the pendant your parents bought you. I’ll wait for you until you realize that you belong with me.”

I had forgotten, the ring was still on my chain.

“This ring? This ring was given to me so I could forget, and that’s what it symbolizes. As long as I’m wearing it around my neck, I’m reminded of the day you too, let go of me.” I got up and walked to the bathroom.

‘How many tears do I have to shed before I can be happy with someone again? How much more pain do I have to suffer? How many more people will I have to lose?’

No One’s P.O.V

The atmosphere during the afternoon was intense. No one talked to each other. IU was absent for all the activities, but the teachers didn’t find out about her attempt at suicide. Goo Hara and Suzy just told them that she was experiencing food poisoning. Wooyoung was constantly worried about IU. Yoseob and Jiyeon stayed glued together, like what happened that morning didn’t affect her at all. And Kikwang looked lost, and excused himself before the class went to the beach.

Kikwang’s P.O.V

I couldn’t wrap my head around IU’s actions…did I mean that much to her that she would end her life for me? Was I the careless and selfish one for not taking care of her when she was mine? I never wanted to break it off with her, but if I had to choose between her or Jiyeon, it would be Jiyeon until the day I died. And even when I die, the only girl who could ever hold a spot in my heart was Jiyeon.

Be that as it may, I needed to apologize to IU before she attempted it again.

As I was about to knock on the door, it opened by itself and IU stepped out.

“oh, IU…how are you feeling?” This was awkward.

“Do you really care? Do you think you’re even in a position to ask me how I’m feeling?”

“I heard what happened, that you almost…” I stopped myself mid-sentence, I could see the pain in her eyes. Was me standing here that painful for her?

“I made a stupid mistake, thinking you were worth losing my life over, now I know I’m wrong. That’s why I was coming to see you.”

“You were coming to see me? Why?”

“To give you this.”

There was a small box and a letter. The box looked familiar…where had I seen it before? I opened the letter and began reading it.

Dear Kikwang,

            Yesterday, I had some time to reflect on my un-happiness, and I realized that it was all because of you. I don’t want to be un-happy anymore, I deserve more, and deserve better than you. If you want to end it, let’s end it, because I’m not Jiyeon. I can’t stay by your side if this is how you treat people, especially people you say you “love.” I have no more lingering feelings for you anymore. All I have left is the feeling of regret, I regret ever loving you, when obviously, you never felt the same way. It wasn’t all just one sided, was it? Don’t answer that, actually. I know you liked me; but I know you love Jiyeon. I won’t stand in your way anymore, and even if she doesn’t choose you in the end, I want you to know that I wish the best for you.

I have no use for what’s in this box anymore, to be honest; I never put it on because everything felt un-real. Please thank Jiyeon for picking out such a nice pair, but I can’t hold onto this knowing your heart was never in it.

I hope we can be friends in the future, but for now, I want to eliminate all the pain in my life. So for now, goodbye Kikwang.

Love,

IU

I opened the box, and saw her couple ring…how did she know I didn’t pick them out? So this was it; we were over. How come I didn’t feel any pain, truthfully, I didn’t feel anything. I was either in shock or my heart didn’t mind losing her.

‘I’m sorry for leading you on, and then hurting you IU. Please accept my apology one day. Goodbye.’

Hello everyone! Here is a short update for you! I know you guys are waiting patiently to see who Jiyeon's going to end up with in the end, i'm waiting too! keke! I never knew someone's heart could be this torn before? Who will she choose?!?!?! o.O

I would like to thank all of my loyal readers! Without you guys, I wouldn't have the encouragment to update everyday, so thank you all! I hope you liked this chapter, and see you again soon! ^.^