Jiyeon’s P.O.V

“Jiyeon?” IU finally spoke out. “Are you sure he didn’t mean Jieun?”

“Yes. He even managed to spell the name out for me. It’s Jiyeon he is asking for” my mouth dropped. Why was he doing this to her? And to me?

“ ah..dehh. That room?” I pointed to the doctor. Yoseob gave me a look of approval, but I couldn’t look at IU, just her shocked face was enough to kill me.

The walk to his room was like the walk of shame. What did he need to tell me that we hadn’t already? I Walked into his room, only to find him asleep. But I knew he was listening, I knew him better than anyone else. He expected me to apologize and accept his confession. But I couldn’t do that for him, I couldn’t do that to IU, Yoseob, or for me.

“pabo-ah.” I walked closer to his bed. “Why would you ask for me, when your girlfriend is scared out of her mind? Do you really not care if she dies out of worry for you? Why must it end up like this?” he looked so helpless and pale. I just wanted to give him a hug, but both IU and Yoseob’s faces’ appeared in front of me. I reached for his hand and sat down on the chair next to his bed.

“Kikwang, it’s me Jiyeon. I’m sorry you are in this state because of me, but I can’t take care of you anymore. I’ve decided I need to be with someone better than you.” tears were coming down my face, but I knew he was still listening, so I had to stay strong. “You need to forget about everything that has happened between us, and go to IU. She needs you, and you need her, don’t screw this up. For now, this is goodbye. Please take care of yourself, pabo.” I brushed the tears off my tears and stood up. I looked at our hands, this would be the last time I would feel his warm and comfortable embrace. I let go and headed towards the door. Just then, the warmth came back, and I glanced behind me to see Kikwang’s hand back with mine.

“How can I ever forget you? Aren’t you being to selfish Jiyeon? Do you really not love me anymore?” I knew he was listening.

“It’s easy to forget someone you’ve never loved. I’m not selfish, I’m relieving you of the burden of being by my side.” The hardest part was up next.

“I could never love someone who doesn’t love me back, especially you.” My tears were coming back.

“You’re lying. Jiyeon, you love me right?” Yes kikwang, I’m lying. But I have no other choice. You have to go to her.

“Ani, I’m not lying. Let go of my hand, and let go of me Kikwang.”

He released my hand, and I walked towards the door. As I was about to turn the doorknob I heard a quiet whisper.

“Jiyeon…sarang…he..” I heard a choke in his throat. Was he crying?

I couldn’t turn around. If I saw his face I probably wouldn’t of left the room. Without acknowledging his confession, I walked out of the room and headed towards Yoseob and IU.

I looked over at IU “He says he loves you and wants you to know that he will never leave you for anyone. He worked to hard to get you, he’s not letting go that’s easily. He just fell asleep though, so I think you should just come back tomorrow.”

“Thank you Jiyeon. For everything.”

“Anything for you. Yoseob, will you take me home please…I’m getting tired.”

“ahh, yeh. Let’s go. IU do you need a ride home?”

“No, I think I’m going to stay here for the night. You guys leave first. Bye.” I wanted be the one to stay with him.

“YAHHHHHHHHHHHH KIKWANG!!!!!! IU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!????????????” we heard screams coming from the other end of the hospital.

“JIYEON? YOSEOB? IU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE ALIVE!!! WHERE’S KIKWANG? IS HE ALIVE? IS HE DEAD?”

“Wooyoung, calm down. He’s fine. He just fainted due to exhaustion.” Yoseob said in a calm voice that soothed Wooyoung and forced him into a silence.

“Oh…mianhe… I just got really scared when IU didn’t come back to the dance. And then I heard Kikwang and IU were taken to the hospital by an ambulance. So I got scared and rushed all the way here. Are you really okay IU? You’re not hurt are you?”

“I’m fine Wooyoung! I’m sorry I scared you.” she gave him a smile. I hadn’t seen her smile in forever; it felt like the room finally lit up.

“ahh. Good! Yah Jiyeon, aren’t you supposed to text your close friend when an emergency happens?” then he glanced at Yoseob’s hand intertwined with mine. “ohhh I guess you too were busy… he he.. Well I’m going to wait here until Kikwang wakes up. All of you can go home and get some sleep. Especially you IU, you look exhausted.”

“Ani, I’m also staying. I guess we can keep each other company for tonight.” Everyone burst out laughing. Our innocent IU, she doesn’t even know she made a ual reference!

“Okay. Well then you two can head home! Good night” Wooyoung said with a smile/ smirk…that ert. I couldn’t help but think that something going on between them? Ani Jiyeon! IU would never do anything to hurt Kikwang. She loves him so much that she was willing to ruin our friendship for him. I don’t think she can change her heart that easily…right?

We walked out to the car, but I wasn’t sure where I was going. I let Yoseob direct me. Although I didn’t tell him what happened in that room, I felt like he already knew everything. At this point, I truly don’t know whom I love, and that’s not fair to either one of these boys. 

Yoseob’s P.O.V

No matter how much she wanted to prove to herself that she didn’t care about Kikwang, I knew she still had feelings for him. How could you forget your first love? If I had to let Jiyeon go, I would probably never forgive myself for letting my first love go without a fight. Now IU is asking her to just walk away from kikwang, like the past 15 years they spent together was nothing. I might be the other man in Jiyeon’s life, but I will always respect her decisions, whether she chooses to love him or me. IU was in no place to put her in that kind of position.

As I was driving to her house, I couldn’t break the silence. I don’t think she wanted me to. We sat there, trying to avoid the one thing that was on both of our minds, Kikwang. A day that should have been filled with joy and celebration turned into disaster in a matter of minutes. Was she still willing to continue being my girlfriend? I didn’t want to pressure her, but I didn’t know where I stood. We finally reached her house, and I shut off the car.

“Here we are.” I finally broke the silence.

“mmmhm…” she was still depressed. I hated myself for not being able to protect her.

“Yoseob?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” did I hear her correctly? “No one is home, and I don’t want to be alone.”

“Yes. I will stay with you Jiyeon. Don’t be scared.” I jumped out of the car and walked over to open her door. She was so helpless and frail. I wanted to pick her up bridal style and take her inside, but she managed to gain the strength to walk on her own. She opened the house door and led me to her room. She quickly exited with her pajamas in hand. Her room was cute. White and pink with pictures dominating her walls; pictures with her friends and family. But I couldn’t help but notice a majority was of her and Kikwang. What kind of relationship did they really have? Was it really always brother-sister love? I guess not, due to recent confessions.

 Jiyeon soon returned dressed comfortably and holding men’s sweats and a t-shirt. ‘She probably got those from Doojoon hyung’s room.’ I thought to myself. I headed towards her bathroom. I closed the door and starred at her mirror. ‘Yoseob. What are you doing here? Is this even the right time for you to sleep over? Just comfort her, that’s all you can do.’  I managed to give myself a little pep talk. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I took advantage of her when she was in this kind of state.

Once I was done changing, I glanced at the bed and saw Jiyeon curled up into a ball, her back facing me. I made my way to her bed and lay down. I could hear her soft sobs and I knew she was dying inside. I turned her around and had her face me. Her head was leaning on my chest and her arms wrapped around my waist.

“Mianhe Yoseob.” She said in between sobs.

“It’s okay Jiyeon. Let it out.” I needed to prepare myself for whatever she was going to say.

“I just want everything to be okay. I don’t know what to do any more.”

“Jiyeon, if there is anything I ever want you to take away from this experience, right here and right now, is to always remember listen to both your head and your heart, not just one or the other. When you do that, everything else will just fall into place. Right now you have neither a clear head or heart, so just fall asleep and give yourself some time to heal and process. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yoseob?”

“Yeah?” was this the end. Were we done before we even started? The pause between her words was killing me. I didn’t know what was going to come out of next.

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“Saranghe…”

Did I hear her right? I don’t know what is going to become of Jiyeon and me’s relationship, but whatever happens, I will be there for her no matter what…

”Me too. Saranghe Jiyeon-ah.”