Calling... maknaelove
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Letting Go
by maknaelove
Reviewed by: vnxazn
Title[5/5]:
Your title really matches the theme of the story. The theme of the story is "letting go" of a love that wasn't meant to be.
Design(Posters, Font Color, Font Style, and Backgrounds)[3/5]:
Truthfully, when I first saw the poster, it scared me a little. I would say it fits the angst kind of subject a little, but I would say it seemed more horror looking. Two different fonts on a poster, that is a no-no on my list. Your background matches your poster well. I just want to say, because this is my preference, you used the default font? Try spicing it up a little and using a different font. That's how you draw attention into your story.
Description & Foreword [9/10]:
Your description and foreword really drew me into the story. It sort of got me wondering, do Jeongmin and Hana get together? Or does Hana stay heart broken? Oh, the angst and curiosity building up inside me~ Always remember to use commas in compound sentences.
Plot and Characters[25/30]:
Because it was a one shot, it's hard to judge on character developement, but I will say that I can tell how the characters are so far. I can see that Minwoo is his cheerful self, Hana is a heart broken wreck, Jeongmin is determined to get his girl but can't stand to see Hana like this, and Ji Eun is obviously Minwoo's girlfriend. The plot was really nice. It was a bit heart wrenching for me to read, actually. I kind of teared up for a second there as I read it along with the music. I would say that the music kind of draws away from the story, but it is a nice touch. You could've gone a little bit further and given a little background on Minwoo and Hana. Show how much she really loved him before he asked Ji Eun out. That would've made the story a lot more detailed and informative.
Grammar & Punctuation [10/15]:
Try to work on your grammar a little bit more. I saw a few grammar mistakes here and there. A few examples would be:
But even if I hadn't looked back, I knew who it was. Lee Jeongmin.
Instead, try using a semicolon and getting rid of the unnecessary comma.
But even if I hadn't looked back I knew who it was; Lee Jeongmin.
"She's still here..." My voice fades.
Always stay in the same tense.
"She's still here..." My voice faded.
Always use a comma before the word "too" if it is at the end of a sentence. Another thing is when Minwoo says, "Awwwwww," instead of drawing out the w's like that, just use one double you and let the speaking verb work it's magic. You also use very strong verbs, and I like that. It's great emphasis for the story.
Creativity [15/15]:
This was a very creative story. It's very original, and I haven't read a story like it before. I've seen plenty of heartbreak kind of stories, but this one has it's own personal ring and sad pang to it.
Flow[4/5]:
Though it is a one shot, I found it to be okay paced. It might seem a little fast to others, but I was okay with the pace. The story was a bit short, though...
Overall Enjoyment[13/15]:
I enjoyed the story very much. It was like playing a violin in my little heart. Ouchies. I was led on to think that Jeongmin and her would get together then I was crushed. Ow. Please excuse my use of emoticons but, QAQ, man, I really wanted them together. OTL my feels.
Grade: 84%
R/N: I am a huge Boyfriend fan, and when I read this, I was just all over the place with my feels. You used my bias, -drools-. I'd really love to see Jeongmin get together with Hana, though (wink wink). I'm just kidding. I smell a sequel, though....
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