Fault in the Machine - Sam_Temple

Title [5 out of 5]: 

The title, was okay, though I thought that the story would be about a robot, but it was completely not. I was about to be disappointed as I've seen way too many robot stories, and how there's always something wrong. Though this was about Chen being wired to keep himself from opening up to the others, and how he suffered by himself. It described your story, yet there was nothing that had anything robotic in it, but only how you were comparing Chen with a machine.

Foreword, Description [20 out of 20]:

The forward was nicely done, as it gave out how Chen was hard working to the extent he had passed out. and how he didn't want the others to worry about him as he told them he was fine. Just by reading it, you can tell that the main character is going to be Chen. It gave away discreet messages of how how the story might go.

Appearance/Poster, Background, etc [2 out of 5]:

There was no poster or background, so I'm going to have to minus the points. Though the Chen picture makes up before it, as he is the main character of the story. 

Plot and Originality [15 out of 15]

The plot was very original. This isn't the first time that I've read a story about someone being pent up about being verbally abused, though this definitely takes the cake for those type of stories where they soon open up when they realize how they had people who actually cared about them.

Grammar, Spelling, Vocabulary, etc. [18 out of 20]:

Error: He could feel his form fall into the song's rhythim,
Correction: He could feel his form fall into the song's rhythm,

Error: Yi Xing gave the younger man with a small flick of his nose.
Correction: Yi Xing gave the younger man a small flick to his nose.

Error: Jong Dae nodded and gave a small, his hand going to his wallet, "Which one are we going to?"
Correction: Jong Dae nodded and gave a small smile, his hand going to his wallet, "Which one are we going to?"

Error: "I don't care if you're parents told you that you were a burden or a bother or whatever bul they said.
Correction: "I don't care if you're parents told you that you were a burden or a bother or whatever bull they said.

Error: Breathing in the other's sent one second and then telling him his story next,
Correction: Breathing into the others scent one second, and then telling him his story the next,

Error: Tao would speak a little, but he would mostly hid himself in the background,
Correction: Tao would speak a little, but he would mostly hide himself in the background,
 

Characters [8 out of 10]:

The characterization wasn't bad at all. Everyone's personality was shown relatively well, and you didn't just gave everyone the personality that fit them quite well, and how you picked one of them to be the one who had trust issues. I have to say that I somehow found Minseok and Luhan's fight amusing. It was just so cute to have them argue and tell everyone to out, and probably because they're both the oldest. Though it definitely seemed to have gotten a bit out of hand near the end of their fight. I loved Minseok's personality even though he was just a supporting character.

Flow [10 out of 10]:

The flow went well, everything was nice. I definitely loved the tempo, though I did find that it went rather slowly to get Chen to open up, but the way you added obstacles definitely made up for that! I was wondering why Chen had kept to himself for so long, but only opened up the last chapter before the Epilogue. I feel that the last two chapters would've just probably summed up the whole story. 

Writing Style [15 out of 15]:

Love your writing style! It was was very unique, your vocabulary was superb. I mean I even had to think twice on some of your vocabulary choice, and had to check that some words were actually legit, because I wouldn't want things to slip. Though the words, and how you put them into each passing chapter was nice. I especially love the vocabulary that would probably confuse people, just because it makes my mind have to think more than once to remember the meaning. 

93 out of 100

Reviewer's note: I'm dearly sorry that your review was delayed! I hope you enjoy reading the review, and maybe try to re-read things, because the littlest things always get unnoticed, I really hate it when that happens, but most people don't see it. So it's normally okay, unless you're getting reviewed, and some people point out every detail. So I hope you continue writing your stories, they were just so wonderful to read!