Title [5/5]: I have to admit, when I first saw the title I thought the story was going to be , like the "50 Shades of Grey" book. But when I read your note at the bottom of the foreword, I smiled at the coincidence. Well, your title sort of drew me in because of its similarity to the book. It's intriguing. ;) I get the gray part, as you made the connection early on in the foreword, but what about the 5? Random number? Is is supposed to fit in with Chapter 5's title, "Five by Five"? Maybe.

Poster(s) [5/5]: I personally liked the 'gray' theme of the foreword. All the little designs gave the story a mysterious feel, I LIKE IT. The poster, however, paled in comparison to everything else. I was a little let down by it. However, as I really have no experience in making posters (I can imagine it would be difficult), I'll push my fickleness aside. The background of the fic is nice too; it adds to the mood you're setting up for the fic.

EDIT: DUDE I'M MAD BECAUSE YOU CHANGED YOUR POSTER RIGHT WHEN I WAS FINISHING UP THE REVIEW. Anyways, the newer poster is cool. I love the little rhymes, and the fact that it wasn't as plain as your old poster. However, when I first saw it, my eyes were drawn to the guy in the middle's beard-stache. ..Maybe that's just me.

Description & Foreword [9/10]: Wow. I personally think your description was pretty amazing. The first sentence makes me wonder what happened to Taeyeon's husband and what she's going to do about it. I like how you put in little spurts of comedy here and there, but still drawing the reader in with the questions. Just be careful of run-on sentences and re-using the same word too frequently. (Who am I to speak, I commit those crimes all the time.)

"As they go deeper into the case, they stumble accross evidence that doesn't connect and facts that have potentially dark and far-reaching implications, all the while the personal agendas of almost everyone involved are slowlyrevealed. Slowly but surely, ... "

I suggest that the comma turn into a period, and the first "slowly" change to a word like "gradually". Other than that, everything else was good.

I can tell you put a lot of work into the foreword, and I admire you for that. It's nicely designed and quite informative. There's lots of 'flavor'. Props for including an excerpt.  

I'm not sure how I feel about putting summaries under the chapter names. There's really no reason for it, but I can't think of a strong reason against it either. Don't you want to surprise your readers? But I like that you're kind of giving a preview for the next chapter, keeping the readers wanting more. I'm ambiguous about them, so no point deduction.

Same with the cast of characters. I can't think of a reason for or against it. Just be careful of throwing too much at readers. You don't want the main part of the fic, the writing, to be overwhelmed by too many pictures.

The concept of a soundtrack is cool, and I like how you sometimes provided quick links so that the readers wouldn't have to go look up the songs.

Plot and Characters [27/30]: To me, the plot idea is somewhat similar to those often-used arranged marriage ones. An arranged partnership. But I like that it is different in that instead of just random spouts of romance, this couple has to actually cooperate to reach a certain goal, to complete a certain mission. Also, sprinkles of mystery make everything better.

As a main character, Taeyeon seems strong, but sometimes a little dim. That's entertainingly cute! :) GD instantly comes off as cocky and disrespectful, which is a stereotypical personality, but as you progress into the fic, you see different sides of him. I really like his amazing ovservation skills, it's a small detail that most wouldn't think about until the author points out its importance.

As side characters, Luhan, Sunny, Sooyoung, her assistant, and Kyuhyun seem flat and one-sided, only providing basic information and small comedic bits when needed. I kind of wanted to see a bit more of them, so that if one of them will show a grayer side of things (as I predict may happen), the readers will be a little more affected, a little more shocked.

The most recent chapter, Chapter 5, was hella confusing, but I think readers should be able to extract important bits of information from it. I'm not sure yet how it furthured the plot, but it added the "spy" feel to the story.

The initial dynamic between GD and Taeyeon is pretty typical, and I wasn't too interested at first. But since both have intriguing backstories, and their banter made me chuckle, I warmed up to them.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Word Choice [23/25]: Your word choice shows that you have a quite extensive vocabulary. It's sophisticated and interesting. There weren't many grammatical errors, and that makes me happy. Here are a few things that bothered me, and revisions I suggest:

Chapter 2:

"As for Mr. G-Dragon here, he has offered us information that we would be fool to not take opportunity of."

fool -> fools

"Our little dragon boy here offered to reveal his true identity, and he offered to be an informant from the inside thegang world."

->the inside of the gang world 

Chapter 3:

"Taeyeon sighed, after a long time of spacing out on the balcony, watching the streets below change colors with the flow of cars crawling along, beetle-like."

-> After a long time of spacing out on the balcony, Taeyeon sighed. The streets below change colors with the flow of the cars crawling along, beetle-like. (Or some other way to separate it in an orderly fashion.)

I never really noticed run-on sentences before, but I started searching for them after someone pointed them out to me in my own writing. Be careful. If you think you put more than 2 commas in a sentence, go back and check to see that it all makes sense.

Those are the few issues I bothered to correct. There are a few more in the later chapters, but I hate correcting every single mistake in a review. I'm sure that you could catch these errors yourself if you just take some time to re-read chapters like a day or two after you post it. I find that taking a little break before going back to revise helps most people see their mistakes more clearly. 

Flow [7/10]: In the beginning of the story, I noticed you used a lot of sentences with "she did this she did that". Try to find more creative ways to phrase actions. There can be plenty of synonyms for "said". You don't have to worry about the later chapters, I only really saw it in Chapter 1.

At the beginning of Chapter 2, it was kind of difficult to tell who was saying what since you had the dialogue rapidly listed like that. I understand that you may have done that for effect, but I suggest leaving descriptions out only when there's 2 people talking. Same happened in the discussion between the 3 trenchcoated people in Chapter 5, but again, that may just be for effect, especially since the readers don't know their identities yet.

The overall flow wasn't as nice as I would have liked it to be, but there were parts where I thought your timing was wonderful. Most of the little sentences you used to end chapters were great. I love reading fics like that. However, some of your transitions weren't smooth. I know how difficult they can be, especially when you are incorporating comedy and mystery/drama into the same story. When changing from a silly/light-hearted moment to a serious/dark one, try adding a bit of description in between so that you can gradually set the mood and "glide" into your next scene.

Overall Enjoyment [14/15]: I enjoyed reading the story, so much that I subscribed! It was well written, entertaining, and different from the usual fluffy selection of romance. Although some parts were a bit cliche and predictable, I still had fun watching character interactions. I must say, I really liked cutie Luhan, though I'm going to feel bad for him when it becomes apparant that Taeyeon doesn't return his feelings. :( Seungri was a plus, too. Just because he's always bullied and blamed LOL. I don't really ship GTae, but this fic made me interested in how it would work out.

Again, I didn't really like how flat your background characters seemed, especially since they all might play larger parts in the story later on. But that's a matter of personal opinion.

A scene I particularly liked was Taeyeon's dream. It was one of my favorites, even though I don't normally read . Maybe Sia's song had a lot to do with setting the mood, but I also noticed that you put in a lot of detail and feeling. The symbolism wasn't apparent to me at first, but after you explained it, I understood. LOL I guess that wasn't the effect you wanted, but I wouldn't try to change that scene. It was amazing as is.

I also really liked reading this fic because as the chapters progressed, I can see your writing improving, bit by bit. The more you write, the better it seems to get. Good job! But then, Chapter 5 came up, and let me say, I didn't really like it due to the fact I was really confused throughout and the action in it just came at me so fast. I have high hopes for Chapter 6!

Grade: 9o% a.k.a A-

I don't think I was worthy to review this fic. You wrote a story I wish I could write. Keep up the awesome work, I'mlooking forward to great things coming from you!

Reviewed by: tillynilly