Without You

Blue Flame
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*Yunho’s POV*

I waited impatiently at my desk, watching my instructor. My knee bounced nervously as he graded the last of my work. It felt like forever until he finally finished. “Okay.” I’m done.” He put his pen down and took off his glasses.

I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to give me the results.

He studied me closely for a moment.

I was growing extremely impatient, but I was nervous at the same time. Did I really want to know the results? What would happen if I failed?

A small smile broke out on his serious-stricken face. “Congratulations your highness. You have passed all your exams with high marks.”

I froze as a wide smile spread across my face. “Really?”

He nodded, “I am high impressed. You managed to earn high scores on all your lessons for the whole year on a tough schedule. I commend you.”

I could care less about his praise. “Can I go now?” I anxiously waited to get back to my room.

The headmaster nodded, “You are free. You can go. You have no more lessons for the rest of the day. I will report your scores to your father.”

I jumped from my seat and dashed out the room.

I ran straight to my bedroom on the second floor. I was static to tell Jaejoong the good news. I wished I could tell him right now. I wish he was here. But writing him was the next best thing. Despite the fact that I was leaving tomorrow for the Fertility Kingdom, I still needed to tell him. The letter would get to him before I made it there anyway.

It became a normal routine for me to write Jaejoong every day. I didn’t go a day without writing him, even if I didn’t have much to say. It was the only thing I looked forward to in the day, aside from vising the Fertility Kingdom. He didn’t write me as many letters, but he did attempt to respond to most of my letters. I treasured his letters a lot, but they were starting to not be enough.

It was growing harder and harder to leave the Fertility Kingdom. I tried to prolong my stay, but I couldn’t only stay so long before my parents would get suspicious or send someone to look for me.

I found myself missing his presence. I missed the sound of his voice and yearned for his soft touches.

It was beyond frustrating. I didn’t know what to do about it.

As soon as I finished my letter, the doors to my bedroom swung open. I groaned in irritation, already knowing who it was. A frown formed on my lips. I didn’t bother to look at him.

“Hey, Yunho. We have a question.” Yoochun stated.

I ignored him and proceeded to fold the letter and put it in its envelope.

“Jaejoong’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. Junsu and I wanted to get him a birthday gift. We wanted to know if you knew what he wanted.” He asked his question anyway.

I stopped what I was doing. He was right. Jaejoong’s 20th birthday is in a couple of weeks and it’s supposed to be his most important birthday. We were going to leave tomorrow morning so we could make it in time for his birthday.

I thought for a moment but drew a blank. “I…I don’t know.”

Yoochun raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know what he wants?”

I frowned, “I asked him, but he said he didn’t want anything.”

He shook his head, “Of course he’ll say that. But you should already know without asking.” He was clearly unimpressed.

My frown deepened, “How the hell am I supposed to know what he wants if he doesn’t say it?” His logic didn’t make any sense.

“You’re his boyfriend. You’re just supposed to know. Even best friends know what their friends want without asking.” He explained.

I stared at him. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “Nevermind, Junsu and I will figure it out.” He brushed off, already giving up.

I scowled. This was a complete waste of my time.

“What are you getting him?” He moved on.

I opened my mouth to answer, but immediately closed it.

He watched me, waiting for an answer, however, I didn’t respond. “You didn’t get him anything, did you?” He concluded.

“He said he didn’t want anything!” I defended. “…and I figured me just being there was enough.” I murmured.

Yoochun groaned obnoxiously, expressing his annoyance. “You are hopeless.”

I ignored him, but I couldn’t fight the guilting feeling that started biting at me. For once, he was right. This is a pivotal time in Jaejoong’s life and probably the most significant thing to happen in his life, and I didn’t even plan to get any gifts for him. I’ve never gotten him a gift for his birthday. But this was different. This needs to be different. “Can you…can you help me?” I muttered quickly.

He cocked an eyebrow, but to my surprise he seemed reluctant. “I guess.” He gave in. “But we’re leaving now before it gets late.”

“I’m ready.” I stood up and grabbed my cloak.

I followed him out my room down to the stables where Junsu was preparing a horse. He looked surprised to see me. “You’re coming too?”

“Unfortunately.” Yoochun answered instead. “He needs our help getting Jaejoong a present. He doesn’t know what to get him.” He explained, making the younger teen even more surprised. “You haven’t gotten him a gift yet?” He questioned. I ignored him and grabbed my horse from the stall.

Yoochun and Junsu shared a horse while I took my own. I slipped on my cloak and put on the oversized hood to hide my face, before following them off the palace grounds.

 

I haven’t been to the city of my home kingdom that much. In fact, I can only recall going a few times. Mostly because I was forced to. I’ve been to the Fertility Kingdom’s capital city more than I’ve been to the one here.

The capital here, however, was much larger than the Fertility Kingdom’s. It was divided into several different districts based on their niches. There was so much to do. It would take at least a day or two to explore everything. Jaejoong would love it.

I smiled at the thought. My smile grew wider knowing that he’ll be coming here once I tell him that I passed all my exams with high scores.

 

 

Yoochun and Junsu went straight to the art district. They immediately found themselves indulging in the merchandise of recent plays and the different paintings and handmade crafts of the venders.

“I think Jaejoong-hyung would like something handmade.” Junsu said as we walked past the stalls. Yoochun nodded in agreement. “Isn’t that cheap?” I questioned, not liking the idea.

The two of them looked at me as if I said the most ridiculous thing. “Cheap?” Yoochun repeated. “You really don’t know anything.” He shook his head.

“Yah! I didn’t come here for you to insult me.” I said now angry.

“Some of the best things are handmade.” Junsu told me. “And expensive.” Yoochun remarked.

I continued to follow them as they excitedly looked through the different items that caught their attention. Junsu was especially enthusiastic and was thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Look!” He pointed out a small detailed sculpture of 2 dragons that encircled each other. One was a white dragon and the other one was painted red. “It’s so pretty.” Junsu stared at it in awe.

“Why don’t you get him something related to the dragon lovers? Maybe like a book or something. Since you read a lot about one of the Fertility Kingdom’s most famous stories, it would be cool if you shared with him the Fire Kingdom’s creation story.” Yoochun suggested.

I scrunched my nose in distaste. I hated the story of the two dragon lovers. “He said he read the story.” I brushed off.

“And?” Yoochun urged me to give more information.

“And he said he liked it, I guess.” I thought deeper. I perked up a little. “He said he really wanted to see the play one day!” I recalled.

“That isn’t much help. The plays are only performed during Lover’s Month, near the end of the year.” Yoochun reminded.

“Why not get him a Dragon Lover souvenir?” Junsu picked up two small handmade dragon figurines.

“Why do I have to get something about that stupid story? Why don’t you guys get it?” I was growing irritated by the suggestions.

Yoochun shook his head, “There are several reasons why you should be the one to give him something related to it to him. For starters, you’re the crowned prince and you should want to share a piece of important history of your country.” Yoochun began.

“That story isn’t even real.” I argued.

Both he and Junsu frowned at me. “Of course, it’s real!” Junsu bursted, clearly passionate about the story. “You don’t believe the story of the start of your kingdom, but you believed the story of a secret garden of another nation where most of the citizens don’t even believe it’s real?” Yoochun said.

“But it did turn out to be real.” I retorted.

“Anyway,” The servant boy moved on, “The next reason, and probably the most obvious and important reason is that he’s your boyfriend. Couples share these kinds of things with each other.”

Junsu nodded in confirmation.

“That doesn’t have to do with anything.” I denied.

“It has to do with everything.” Junsu insisted.

I folded my arms not convinced in the slightest.

Yoochun and Junsu looked at each other then back at me. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you.” Yoochun began again. I scoffed at his ironic words, as if he wasn’t already honest enough.

“You and Jaejoong really don’t act like a couple.” He finally said. “You act just as you did before you started dating, like cat and dog and sometimes friends.”

“It’s more like he’s your babysitter.” Junsu inputted.

“Exactly! You’re like a spoiled kid who’s visiting their favorite aunt or uncle who spoils them but also disciplines.” Yoochun explained.

I frowned at both of them, no longer interested in their bull. I need to stop giving them the chance to give their ‘opinions’ or so called ‘ideas’. “What are you saying? Our relationship wasn’t supposed to change.” I told them.

Junsu scrunched his brow. “Then what was the point in asking him out?”

I quickly looked away from them to hide my pink cheeks. The truth was, I didn’t know what I was doing. Jaejoong and I had been together for over half a year now and nothing has changed. I didn’t mind it. I was glad that I had Jaejoong for myself. I figured that was enough. “Don’t tell me you only asked him out so that he couldn’t date anyone.” Yoochun suddenly accused.

“No!” I spat.

He looked at me unconvinced. “That’s part of it.” I confessed quietly “I figured things are fine the way they are.” I received disapproving headshakes from him and Junsu. “It might be fine to you, but you also have to think of Jaejoong. If you two are just going to be the same way when you were just friends, then he has no reason to date you.” Yoochun stated bluntly.

“Jaejoong doesn’t seem like the type to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. If he sees that this isn’t a serious relationship, then he’ll probably break up with you.” Junsu added.

My eyes widened in realization. They were right! Panic slowly rose within me. I wasn’t offering anything new or worthwhile. I wasn’t offering anything.

“He probably agreed to date you to see where your relationship would go.” Yoochun noted.

My shoulders dropped at his words. He was completely right. I messed up! “What am I going to do?” I ran my hands through my hair in distress. I promised I’d changed. I’d do better.

“Don’t worry. We’ll help you. That’s why we’re here.” Yoochun grinned, draping his arm over my shoulders.

I pushed him away from me. “Fine.” I didn’t have much of a choice. I hated the idea of getting help, especially from Yoochun. But they at least seemed to know what they were doing. At least more than me. And I couldn’t afford to lose Jaejoong no matter what. Even if that meant I completely changed. I can’t mess this up.

“First things first. Have you confessed your feelings to him?” Yoochun began his mental checklist.

I slowly nodded, “Yeah, I tell him how I feel all the time.” However, my answer did not please the 19-year-old.

“You’ve told him you liked him? Or even love him?” Junsu asked in surprise.

My eyes shot wide, “No!” I spat.

The two frowned.

“You’ve never told him how you felt about him?” Yoochun reiterated.

I slowly shook my head, suddenly feeling like a shamed pup. “I mean, I told him I liked him the day I asked him out.” I tried.

“That was several months ago.” Yoochun disapproved.

“Isn’t that enough? He knows how I feel. That’s all that matters.” I argued.

Yoochun pinched the bridge of his nose. “People can end up changing their minds.” Junsu explained.

“I don’t change my mind.” I folded my arms confidently.

“It’s still nice to hear.” Junsu countered. “You don’t have to tell him all the time, but every now and then is nice. It’ll make him feel good and keep him from having doubts.”

My shou

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BlockBBTSHinee
Happy New Year!!

I updated the chapter order, so "No Other" has been moved to after "In My Room" (I forgot to add that chapter a while back, if you're interested in reading it, it'll now be the 11th chapter hehe).

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papadie13 558 streak #1
Chapter 42: Nice chapter!! So glad to see that everything is good, they are good!!
Ecilimin
#2
Chapter 42: Thank God Yunho got to his senses.. Now he understood!! Jae's kiss surprised me hahah I was not expecting that, but it is sooo welcomed ♡ ^^

I feel sad for Changmin :( Can you make him meet his other half as well soon? :)

Great job Author-nim! ♡
JaeBeloved
#3
Chapter 42: Jae keeps showing his kindness time and time again. Whether it's a trait that people from the Fertility Kingdom are engrained with or it's due to his upbringing and disposition, Jae is full of love and compassion. His baby will be surrounded by love. Yunho really needs to show up and back up his words with actions, otherwise risk loosing Jae and the baby for good. Hopefully this helped steer him in the right direction.
Changmin just keeps putting his hope against the odds, Yunho and Jae won't be so easily separated. The former queen tried and still they remain entangled. It won't be easy for him to accept but, it's necessary if he wants to remain by Jae's side, because it looks like they'll be seeing each other frequently.
Thanks for the update!
jjbrownsugga #4
Chapter 42: Yunho has grown a lot. Thank you for the update. I can’t believe it’s almost over.
springmiya #5
Chapter 42: i loved this chapter
JaeBeloved
#6
Chapter 41: I cheered when Nayoung came to the rescue, Yunho really needs to change his behaviors that so resemble his mother's.
His intentions may be to protect but he's repeating a cycle.
I hope Yunho learns from this. He may have learned and recited what it means to be King, but he has a long way to go serving his kingdom.
In regards to his personal relationships, he's got some serious changes to make, his current attitude will keep pushing people away from him.
Thanks for the update!
papadie13 558 streak #7
Chapter 41: Woow a lot happened!! All the turns and twists. Hope the two of them can sit down and talk calmly and solve this whole situation (i dont even know when things got so bad between them). Thank you for updating!!
meechan35 #8
Chapter 41: I dunno what to say. Yunho did act like his mother as Jj mentioned.
jjbrownsugga #9
Chapter 41: That was an intense update.
rooose #10
Chapter 41: Oh wow 😯 its over!! Didn’t expect that
Hope Yunho learn his lesson and grow up