Minhee wished she could blame Hanbin for the life he made her life but she couldn’t. All those endless sleepless nights, all those no exit paths they took, all the things she left behind were something she choose to do. She left everything behind because maybe she was too naive and blind by love. Sometimes, just at the thought of getting to meet her friends without being the target the rival gangs were looking for, got her mind thinking about the ‘’what if’’ things that could have happened if she didn’t jump into the dark hole she jumped.

She was currently sitting, her fingers interlocked with the hair she had dyed just so many times in a failed attempt to get the other gangs off her back. She wasn’t psychologically ready for all of this yet, she did keep herself together because of the male who sacrificed quite a few things to be with her. Minhee scoffed at the thought of her life. She couldn’t take it anymore. Even if those first weeks where she seemed to be on top of the world were something she could recall as good memories, like when people came head to head to Hanbin because of her, like she was a reward they could get over a fight and Hanbin almost cut their heads off - it made her feel important. Wanted. But that was back when her brain wasn’t able to realize this was no life for her to take.

If anything, this was his life, this was the place he belonged to, somewhere he felt comfortable and enjoyed staying in. She didn’t. She wasn’t sure when was last time she got to see her mother without any kind of fear. Sure, she was Hanbin’s girlfriend but did that change a thing? She was still human, she still felt fear and above anything she just wanted to protect her family who seemed to be doing fine. But was fine enough?

Her hands reached for the bedside table where she kept a few paper sheets and a pen - she had been thinking about running away quite a few times. It was not that something drastic has happened but rather her waking up to the world and noticing she wasn’t supposed to be there. Her hair was a mess by now; ever since Hanbin left for whatever business he had to take care of, she had been thinking of the nicest way to get things done and she came to conclude there was no nice way to let him know she was leaving. Probably face to face would just be painful for both.

Thinking of it, she had brought him quite a few problems the past weeks, either because they found her to be Hanbin’s weakness or simply because they wanted to mess his world. She didn’t want any of it to go on. Let alone the fact she heard things she’d rather be deaf to. Hanbin didn’t know just how many feelings she had cried, much less how hurt the whole situation got her.

She had made her decision.

‘’Hanbin, I don’t think this is working. I would rather talk this face to face with you but I think this is way too out of our hands for us to work it out anyways. I know that if I write this to you, you’ll be the only person knowing about it. So, I’m leaving.’’ she whispered out what she just wrote down, rolling her eyes at how bitter those words sounded for her who was the one leaving; the words weren’t supposed to hit her that hard but there’s always a trail of guilt that’d end up making the way to her brain and hurt her. Maybe harder than the male would be by the second he read this.

She was counting on being alone in the room but she wasn’t. Behind her, stood the shadow  of the male she loved. His body cut out the light coming from the outside, just in case it gave away the fact he was right there. But by now, he’d rather have her knowing he was there. He wanted her to see how hurt he actually was. He was human too, under the iron cover he was supposed to be polishing over his body, laid a gentle human who only wanted to provide the best for her. Her who just turned her back on him. He should turn his back on her as well, shouldn’t he? ‘’I hope you die far away from here.’’ his voice was a bit louder than a simple whisper.

Minhee wasn’t shocked - even if she didn’t acknowledge his presence, she knew this would be the way he would react to her trying to live her life in the end. He would never understand her and she never really expected him to understand her. The paper was ripped right there as the words she needed him to know were already spread in the air, through his ears, eating his brain. He wouldn’t need her letter to remind him of her when she wanted him to forget her. Maybe if things were a bit different, if she was more patient and actually cared for him more than for her life, things would have been different.

The eyes that once had looked down towards the floor just so they wouldn’t find hers were now looking down on her. It wasn’t just Hanbin who was mad at her leaving but this was just a great opportunity for them to vomit what they had shoved down their throats when she was still the woman of Hanbin’s eyes. The slightest word about her would get them in big trouble, probably, down on their knees begging for forgiveness. But now? Now things were different, really different and they didn’t have to swallow their words anymore. They could hit her with them instead. She deserved that.

‘’You better not come back. Unless you want me to take care of you.’’ warned a female who Minhee would swear was someone who had been trying to get to Hanbin ever since she got there. Seducing him wouldn’t be the worst thing she had ever done but Hanbin never really cared about her as all he could think of was Minhee’s well being. She was all that ever mattered to him and probably the reason why he kept it together.

‘’I won’t be back, don’t worry. Next time we see each other, you’ll be begging me to forgive you over what you said. You’ll regret your words.’’ Minhee warned, maybe giving out one of the reasons Hanbin was so fond of her.

Her freedom didn’t last for long. Minhee sighed heavily as she noticed she was surrounded by people she disliked, what she could swear were the ones Hanbin had been fighting over and over again because of her. Sighing, she just ignored them and kept walking but then again, how can you walk and ignore someone who keeps following you and eventually stops right there; they wanted something and they would have it, sooner or later.

‘’What do you guys want?’’ she stopped, kicking her bag away as she was just done with her life in that moment. She thought the life she had with Hanbin wasn’t what she was looking for and she was frustrated for making that decision, without giving him the chance to speak up for himself. She left him just like that. Just what could they ask from her now? She was not in the mood to play their stupid games.

An amused laugh escaped one of the male’s mouth. It was almost like a movie scene; the damsel lost in the dark night while the moon illuminated just a small trail, indicating the worst way out possible. Even the shadows were safe, everywhere but that light she decided to follow. One of the guys slipped his hands in his pockets, shaking his head at how endlessly he could go on on how she should talk to him - little did she know they knew more about her than she knew about herself. That’s what you get when people simply hate you.

‘’Can we just get this done? What do you need?’’ she sighed quietly, looking at the people who had followed her, thinking why in the world there was the need for three people following her when she was only one. It made no sense. It was like they were afraid of her. The fear they couldn’t seem to insert on her, was plotted out to her, almost slapped in her skin; they wanted her to fear them but their looks were nowhere near what she could call scary and in all honesty, she had seen worst.

To make it look a bit more real, the guy who slipped his hands into his pockets, pulled out a small knife from his pocket, twirling it in between his fingers like it was a pen, as if he wasn’t afraid to cut himself. The cuts in his hands showed just how many times it had gone wrong but the guy didn’t seem to care. Minhee didn’t either. Her eyes were on the knife. ‘’I wonder if you do feel afraid of losing your life just like this. You’re Hanbin’s little girl and that has a price, I’m sure you’re aware.’’ all that blabbing was making the female sick. She sighed.

‘’Let me make it simple for you.’’ he approached her, while the other two laughed - it was dark, all the thoughts going through their heads should be kept buried under the floor, somewhere it was impossible for them to get away from. The knife was still spinning in his hands, in between his fingers. At some point, it did look fun anyways. ‘’This knife will carry blood, soon if I may add.’’ the whisper she heard by her ear made her want to throw up. Countless times had her ex whispered just like that, maybe in a deeper tone but never had his tone sounded dirty like this guy’s.

Minhee turned her face to meet the male; she glared at him, as if warning him not to step so close but that didn’t matter to him. He smirked, stopping the knife that now rest it’s edge over her stomach. He could kill her right there and probably he was planning on killing her right there and then. She didn’t seem so worried about it after she ran away from the place she had lived in, to avoid things like this. ‘’And I can tell you it’s not over this fight honey.’’ his hand reached for hers, wrapping her fingers around the knife, pointing against her skin just ready to rip her skin.

Her fingers were maybe too tightly wrapped around the blade, to the point she could swear she was already bleeding. The male had pulled away but his eyes looked into hers ‘’I’ll give you the pleasure of making up for the mistakes you made.’’ he stopped, looking at the knife. ‘’There’s no use running away because there’s two lives on your hands.’’ he smirked, looking back up at her. ‘’One of the ends has you but on the other, stands the one we want down on the floor, kneeling before our eyes.’’ it gave away the fact they wanted to take down the so called king. Minhee closed her eyes for a second, thinking she shouldn’t have left Hanbin and there was no way to get both alive out of this situation. Should she just give them what they want? Should she just conceal the blade right over where the tip stood at? Or should she actually do as she was ordered and turn her back completely on the guy who had given so much to her without asking for anything back?

‘’I’ll give you some time to think about it.’’ the guy seemed generous enough ‘’But you should know my patience is just dipping out by each second. And if you’re not quick enough, I’ll just ask her to move in.’’ the sound of ‘her’ mad Minhee realize that she didn’t just quit on living like Hanbin. She actually quit on Hanbin.

Even though she had been put through worst, she felt relieved the three people left her alone in the middle of the street, by herself. She was scared, consumed by fear that wasn’t supposed to be getting to her that easily. She thought she would be able to enjoy her freedom but just noticed she was being pulled by a leash.

Coming back was nowhere near an option for her. Hanbin would know something was wrong and probably he wouldn’t even want to see her face. ‘’Forget him, forget everything.’’ she whispered, throwing the knife on the floor just to run to her bag. She was getting away that night.

Everything seemed successful until she reached the train station. ‘’Well, we all make wrong choices most of the time, like when we take a test and there’s a fifty-fifty opportunity for us to get it right, we tend to choose the wrong one, don’t we?’’ the dirty laugh was back, that laugh Minhee wanted to forget. in the air, the male pushed himself off the wall ‘’Too bad Minhee doesn’t seem to understand that.’’ he tilted his head as he looked at her ‘’I didn’t seem to make myself clear last time…’’ this pause indicated her something was not going to go well. His hand reached for her hair, holding it tightly as he pulled her back, letting go of it when he was sure she hit the floor. His feet sat over her chest. ‘’It’s just so easy to crush you right here but I guess I’m a good man and I really want to give you a second chance over this… You see, there’s only one of two options for you because you won’t like the third, honey.’’

The female groaned quietly, knowing he was going to talk about the said third choice. ‘’Seung, should I tell her what the third option is?’’ the male gasped, looking up at the other guy who held his belt, showing a gun, smirking. He nodded his head once, looking down at the girl who could only look up at the two of them. ‘’Seems like Seung finds a second opportunity something acceptable as well. I’ll tell you what the third option is then.’’ again with the dramatic pause, he reached for a cigarette, lighting it up as if he was looking for words.

Before Minhee could understand what was going on, the feet that laid over her chest was pulled away but the male was closer to her, or at least, his face. He had crouched down, blowing the smoke to her face. ‘’The third option will be me claiming both of you as my trophies.’’ a sick laugh was coughed out with more smoke. The said Seung guy laughed as well, finding this probably funnier than it would ever sound.

‘’Since we seem to be clear now, I hope you won’t run away again.’’ he stood up, straightening his shirt before he held his hand out for the knife she left behind. He caressed the blade ‘’You dropped something’’, he informed, throwing the knife over to her arm just so it’d rip her shirt over the sleeve. ‘’Next time, I won’t miss.’’

With all of this, she didn’t go home. She had thrown her bag on the river out of frustration. She felt miserable. How could she just choose her life over Hanbin’s? Currently, she was sitting by the river, looking at how slowly the sun was rolling up the curtains for the long day that’d get her no rest. She didn’t get to sleep for the night. She didn’t eat. She was just afraid of even breathing at this point. But could she blame Hanbin for her choices? Not really.

She had to go back, if she wanted to survive. But then again, why would she hurt him? She couldn’t. Minhee didn’t want to die though. Again, she stood on the same position as the day before; her fingers were interlocked with her hair as she almost felt like pulling it out. She didn’t know what to do. Maybe negotiating it with Hanbin? But she forgot the little detail called Hanbin’s little shadow. She was there and by what Minhee could understand, she was double timing. She was under Hanbin’s wing but she was the right hand of his rival.

By the time she had made a decision, the moon was claiming the sky for it’s own. ‘’I’m sorry Hanbin…’’ she whispered, walking back through the way she walked out just a day ago. She wasn’t surprised to be received by the shadow she was thinking about. ‘’Look who’s here.’’ a smirk crossed her lips. Minhee rolled her eyes, pushing her aside but she held her hand tightly ‘’I wonder who’s the worst here. You, or me.’’ she gave away the fact she was choosing her life over Hanbin’s. ‘’I wonder how he’d react if he knew his precious little is deciding who should claim the throne after all.’’

Her words hit her hard. Was she really choosing her life over his? Over his? His? She couldn’t do that. She’d rather just go back and ask them to kill her slow and painfully. She scoffed. Who was she trying to fool? ‘’I guess you don’t know me after all.’’ with a kick, she pulled herself away and walked towards the room she knew Hanbin would be standing on. Fear ran through her skin; she was nervous to even face the male who she left for her own good.

With another kick, she forced the door to open, revealing a calm Hanbin, looking her way - he didn’t look surprised at her, much less at the knife she held in her hand. ‘’She was right, after all.’’ those words made her feel dizzy. Did he really believe she was there to kill him? Minhee walked in slowly, peeking out as if she was about to commit a crime. The door was closed and right there, she frowned at the male in front of her. He had gotten up, to stand right in front of her.

He surprised her by taking her in his arms; his strong arms wrapped around her while she held onto the knife in her hand. Minhee was probably crying by now as she didn’t know what was going on. Was he asking her to kill him? Was he believing she would kill him? Was he giving her permission to stab him on the back? Her hand didn’t drop the knife but instead, held onto his shirt tightly as she hugged him.

‘’I know you don’t want to do this.’’ he whispered to her, hugging her tighter ‘’But it’s you or me.’’ he whispered into her ear, making her cry over how his whispers sounded so nice in such situation. She held onto him tightly. ‘’Then I will... ‘’ she whispered to him, pulling her hand away. She pulled the knife between them but right there, he knew she was going to unite the blade with her body. His hand, that covered hers, held onto her hand tightly, making her drop the knife right in between their feet. ‘’We can fight them.’’ he whispered to her, pulling her closer as there was no risk of either of them getting hurt.

‘’You don’t understand.’’ she cried out, trying to pull away from him who snorted a laugh. ‘’You also said, it’s either you or me.’’ she continued, managing to pull away from him who looked at her quietly, into her eyes. ‘’Don’t you think they’ll still come after me after you’re gone? They know I’ll be down on my knees if you’re gone. They know I can’t stand losing you. I could lose everything else, but I’d give my last breathe to save you and they know that.’’ he sighed quietly to her. ‘’We can fight them. If you can’t, I can fight them for us.’’ he continued, letting his hands rest over hers, holding them tightly. ‘’Ki-’’ ‘’I know who she is.’’ Minhee was surprised to hear that the girl who almost looked like her shadow was caught.

The couple stood quiet for a while, looking at each other ‘’Don’t worry about this but don’t ever leave again.’’ he asked her, pulling her to his chest just to lean his head back and close his eyes. Sighing, he hugged her tighter.

‘’Are you crying?’’ she whispered against his chest, knowing that by the way his chest hit her nose, his lungs were in more air than they actually needed even if the air didn’t seem to get to the lungs. ‘’Big man don’t cry.’’ he started, leaning looking back at her who tilted her head back slightly to look at him, seeing his tears. She reached for them, frowning just to wipe them away. ‘’But without you, I’m nothing.’’

‘’I warned you.’’