Listen To The Waves
The Sleepless Phoenix Review & Consulting Shop [CLOSED]Author : MinnieCrafts
Story Title : Listen To The Waves
Story Type : Oneshot
Reviewer : sonnet_sartori
Overall rating :
~Title: [8/10]~
beautiful title, but it is kinda too common to be attention-grabbing. it does suit the story and the plotline and sounds good, though.
~Foreword/Description: [6/10]~
its a nice description, but i feel like you could make it better? maybe catch the reader's eye with a snappy description. again, like your title, your description is over-used and way too common.
~Plot [7/10]~
i like the way you expressed the plot in the beginning; the stalking and the sneaking around. i felt it was original and even though i've read stalker-lover before, you added your own little spice to it. but after taehyung and jungkook met, it all became a tad too unrealistic for me. true, jungkook was freaked out and felt his privacy had been invaded, but the way that he became so close to taehyung in such a short time was just too good to be true.
~Characterization~ [7/10]
taehyung's character was well potrayed; but not elaborately enough. i felt like there were parts of him that didn't really come through to the reader. maybe it was his vague past, his odd reactions, or maybe his broken relationships, but there was something missing.
jungkook, on the whole was a great character.
~Grammar/ Syntax~[10/10]
i didn't really notice any major mistakes in this area.
~Vocabulary~[9/10]
your vocabulary is not bad, but it's not amazing, either. for a fluffy, aesthetic-based story like yours, descriptive words are vital to the setting, and you didn't really use many of those.
~Setting/Description~[5/10]
like i said before, your story should have been chock-full of descriptions and beautifying words, but it wasn't. it also seemed a bit rushed and hasty. take it slow, re-read your story and add in as many descriptions as you can.
~/Conclusion~ [9/10]
open ending, i liked it. but the story didn't really build up to the end. in short stories, there has to be only a single plot, and it has to build up to the end; it has to lead unwaveringly to the , but i didn't see that in your story.
~Enjoyment~ [7/10]
i liked your story for the uniqueness despite the cliche and also for jungkook's character. what i didn't enjoy is how fast they fell for each other and the lack of life in your characters. but with a little work, your story can definitely reach it's true potential.
Total: [68/90]
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++sujuELFsarang your review will be ready by tomorrow i'm sorry for the late review ++
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