Author: shineeinfinite

Story title: Redemption

Story type: Chaptered

Reviewer: vronvron

Review completion: 8/5/2016

Story Link

Overall Story rating: 7/10

Title: [7/10]

The title itself isn't all too unique, however, it does fit the genres and the whole story.

Foreword/Description: [6/10]

The way you have that single quote as your description is very powerful. However, with the foreword, the plot itself seems a little cliche. A past 'hero' having retired but having to return to his old ways once more to save someone whom he cherishes. The 'hero' of the story being someone who was cold-hearted and learned to warm up from this one person. Although this kind of plot is cliche, it could work depending on how well it is written.

Plot/ character development:[7/10]

I didn't mind your story since you did indeed add your own 'colour' to the plot. However, it is still very much like a drama with the use of the cliched scenes and ideas.

Characterization: [7/10]

The overall characterisation of the characters were quite nicely written, however, I did think that Aerin probably could have had more of her own moments where she was independent. It gives a rather stereotypical female persona to her character as if she is like the damsel in distress since she depends so much on Seunghyun.

However, with saying that, Seunghyun and Jiyoung's characters and interactions are quite realistic and gives the readers a sense of relativeness.

Grammar/Syntax:[8/10]

Most of your story was easy to read, the overall flow was satisfactory. However, I think you should re-read your story or have someone else read it for small mistakes here and there. Some of the word orders were a bit odd at times, but could be easily fixed or simply ignored. Other than that, there weren't many mistakes.

Vocabulary: [7/10]

Your vocabulary choices at times were stange as well. Read it aloud to yourself to see if it flows well in the sentence. And try to see if there is a better synonym that you could use. It doesn't have to be a very complex word. It can be simple language. It just depends on how well you lay it out in the sentence.

Setting/Description: [8/10]

The settings of the story are all very relevant and used well. However, I do think that you could perhaps add some more descriptions about the actual setting as well as perhaps reduce the dialogue to some degree. Throughout the story I noticed that there was quite a large proportion which was simply dialogue exchanged between the characters. You could reduce this by simply describing the situation for the small talk rather than having the dialogue in place. Same with the larger paragraphs of dialogue, which you could describe perhaps later on as the task which had been described or just describe it from what the character was hearing. 

/Conclusion:[9/10]

The was somewhat cliche with the betrayal, however, it was a nice surprise ending about Seunghyun and Mark. That mixed it up a bit rather than keeping up the same hatred. The conclusion was a bit cliche and a tad bit bland because of that, but it was a nice conclusion nonetheless.

Enjoyment:[9/10]

It was a nice read overall and it was quite enjoyable :)

Total: 68/90

Thank you for using our services, I hope you are satisfied with your review and I'm sorry that some parts may be a bit short or if I seemed a tad harsh. However, I do hope that it assists you in some way. Don't forget to credit our shop in your story and comment below.

Good luck with your other stories ^^