Author: ChorusoftheSong

Story Title: Faith, Trust and a little Pixie-dust 

Reviewer: 92-pcy

Review Completion: 19/01/16

Story Link:

Overall Story Rating: 9/10

Title: 10/10

[1] Does the title reflect the plot well?

Absolutely! I’ve seen many authors out there using this phrase, however it always leaves me in disappointment, as their stories are nowhere near close in terms of relation. However in this case, I would definitely say that you’ve managed to nail the title down (:

[2] Does it lack originality?

I wouldn’t strongly say so myself, but yes, there are many stories out there that uses this as a title, but like I said, it unfortunately did not all turn out to be in relation to what it is at all.

[3] Is the title too wordy?

Nope not at all, it’s considerably short, captures the essence of the story, simultaneously providing a subtle hint towards the story. Plus, it’s catchy too!

[4] Does it give away too much?

I certainly disagree. It gives a hint to the readers as to the genre or line of plot they are venturing into. As for me, I knew that I was definitely expecting a picturesque, fantasy plot going on.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

[1] Is the description concise?

Yes, It summarizes the plot, not a hefty amount of information to digest at one go, it evoked just the right amount of curiosity to spur me to go on reading it.

[2] Does it give away too much?

Not heavily so, It clearly defines how the plot will roughly be like, how the protagonist, in this case Wonwoo, would have his share of ups and downs, as how he winds about as the story progresses along, eventually meeting Mingyu.

[3] Does it grab the reader’s attention?

I would definitely say so myself, It poses many questions to the reader, albeit the fact that it’s supposed to be a brief summary as to what I’m expecting the story to turn out like, in a good way of course, because it leaves me hanging, in a sense that I personally found myself really intrigued, wanting to find out how or why so and so happened. Eg: What was the dreaded journey that Wonwoo was so afraid of about? , How did Mingyu manage to make it better?

[4] Does it reflect the overall idea of the plot?

Yes, it provided the general information across that Wonwoo would face challenges before finally winding up in a relationship with his counterpart within the plot. Overall, you definitely left me wanting more, without giving the story away. Short but sweet, exactly how I would define a good description.

Plot: 7/10

[1] Is your plot original?

Yeah, it pretty much is! It is pretty rare in general for authors to venture into the “ fairy” portion of a fantasy genre. It’s really nice to see a change (: Really cute in my opinion!

[2] Is your plot believable?

Of course, this question is paradoxical as it is supposed to be a fantasy read after all, however, you’ve greatly captured the feelings and emotions of all the characters in the story, the settings are adequately described, even down to the tiny minute details with regards to the actions of the characters. It really made it seem real to me. However, as the two fairies initially venture out into the real human world, maybe you would like to elaborate further on how stark the contrast was between Neverland and the world beyond it? Focusing your description on the surroundings that greeted the two upon their arrival.

[3] Does it have a good pace?

Generally the pace is great, not rushed through at all. Thoughtfully planned, no issues regarding pace.

Characterization:  6/10

[1] Are your characters realistic?

Adequately so, although not heavily described, I had a vague guide as to how they would generally appear as such.

[2] Are your character’s feelings justifiable?

You did a great job on this one! The protagonist’s feelings reflect well on their emotions following a sad or happy incident, whether be it their thoughts and feelings, that have a subsequent effect on their next course of action. A great example would be,

"The dark thin clouds of Neverland’s skies slowly give way to puffy, white ones as the two fairies fly through the passage between fantasy and the real world. There’s the feeling of being encroached upon, and Wonwoo is suddenly suffocated by an invisible pressure, but then the feeling relents and Wonwoo can breathe again."

[3] Are your character’s adequately developed?

Based on the flashback of Seungcheol that you have included, the reader would be able to better relate to the character, about his past and the influences it has made on his present self, the emotions he felt and struggles he has been through had made him whoever he is, and subsequently goes on to determine his mindset in the current stage of the story.

[4] Do you adequately describe your characters?

Yes, but not extensively so, just right for a vague picture of how each would probably look like. Personally, I enjoy reading stories with vivid descriptions about each character, how they look like initially, their subsequent reactions or concurrent feelings would be depicted in their facial expressions as well. However, you undoubtedly made up for it by being generous in your emotional description of your characters, making the reader feel deeply for them.

Grammar/Syntax : 10/10

[1] Do you have minimal grammatical errors?

Since this has previously undergone a beta-reading, grammar mistakes have definitely been reduced down to a bare minimum.

[2] Are your sentences properly structured and punctuated?

Yes, punctuation isn’t a problem, however, structural presentation wise, aside from the dialogues between the characters, you may want to avoid excessive paragraphing.

Vocabulary: 9/10

[1] How extensive is your vocabulary?

You have a great command of the language, a wide spectrum of various descriptive adjectives are well incorporated, Awesome!

Setting and description  8/10

[1] Did you successfully manage to establish the story’s setting? , inclusive of the description aspect;

As stated previously, it will be good if you could provide even more details and description about the setting and surroundings, so that the reader would be able to have a clearer picture of the overall perception of the setting (: nonetheless, there was certainly an great attempt at it. I personally really loved the comparison between the fairies and their surroundings! Really detailed in the interactions between the fairies and their surroundings!

 “The petals are silken and smooth beneath his palm, and he leans over to sniff the flower delicately. The flower’s scent is rich, with a hint of vanilla and citrus. Wonwoo tests the strength of the magnolia by resting his weight on it before he climbs in, settling himself carefully in its centre. The flower responds with a soft hum, and she folds her petals in to cover the fairy’s tiny body. Wonwoo smiles and bestows the magnolia with a shower of pixie dust in thanks before he closes his eyes, and quickly falls into a dreamless sleep.”

 “After all, what beauty is the world if you are not able to explore it, when you’re only three and a half inches tall and a garden is essentially your forest? The sensation of wind brushing over your wings a mere memory of the past, and the knowledge of what’s beyond the sky now a cruel reminder of a world so close yet out of your reach?”

Portrays the fairies as delicate and frail little beings, absolutely precious (:

and conclusion:  6/10

I couldn’t really identify a high point of in the story, not sure if there was even meant to be any, but I would assume the part where Wonwoo had finally managed to arrive safely at Mingyu’s window sill, after having gone through that ordeal? As for the conclusion it seemed cut short, maybe you would like to go on writing slightly more about the greater role played by the appearance of Mingyu in the story?

Overall enjoyment :8/10

All in all, your writing was really a pleasure to read, it’s great as a recommendation for readers who are looking for a gradual paced, light- hearted au, it’s absolutely delightful, truly heart warming. The adorable interaction between a human and fairy, their relationship reminds me of guardian angels. In fact, really made me wish that such beautiful encounters really exist :’( A really good one fellow author! You’re one to pay attention to even the slightest of details, and I really admire that. Continue to write greater stories, I’ll be looking forward to another of your pieces soon (:

Cheers!

ps. I want a fairy like Wonwoo too :’(

Soo Jung (92-pcy)

Total Score : 73/90

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Happy Writing !