Author: G--boy

Story Title: Requiem for a prayer

Reviewer: 92-pcy (Soojung)

Review Completion: 01/02/2016

Story Link: 

Overall rating: 9/10

Title- Score Attained [ 9/10]

[1] Does the title reflect the plot well?

 Definitely, props on the title!

 [2] Does it lack originality?

Nope! In fact, it’s unique! Thus, it catches the reader’s attention instantly. The stark contrast between the plot and title was one of a kind.

[3] Is the title too wordy?

No issues with regards to length, it’s pretty adequate.

[4] Does it give away too much?

I wouldn’t say so, like I’ve said, the chosen title gives off a completely different vibe as to what the plot has in store for the reader.

Description/Foreword- Score Attained  6/10

[1] Is the description concise?

The description given is rather short, maybe you would like to provide a little hint or add in quotes from the story, ones that would evoke interest, a good way would be to include a quote, together with a few sentences of the dialogues from the , ending with a rhetorical question that set the reader’s minds thinking.

[2] Does it give away too much?

Unfortunately, since your description is vague and short, it definitely does not reveal much information pertaining to the story.

[3] Does it grab the reader’s attention?

With that being said, although your description is short, I wouldn’t say it serves no purpose. In fact, it briefly summarizes your story into one sentence. If that is the idea that you’re going for, I would not rebut that, but it’s pretty mysterious. Even though I would have appreciated more information, it was sufficient enough for me to garner interest in your story.

 [4] Does it reflect the overall idea of the plot?

I would say to a certain extent. Yes, it does steer the reader towards the genre of your plot.

Plot-  Score Attained   9/10

[1] Is your plot original?

In terms of genre, not much, but how you went about presenting it definitely is something credible, I really liked your presentation of this genre.

 [2] Is your plot believable?

Yes, not heavily so, but it is delivered via a real world context.

[3] Does it have a good pace?

Overall pace is great, does not seem rushed through of any sort.

Characterization- Score Attained 7 /10

[1] Are your characters realistic?

Yes, they are portrayed

 [2] Are your character’s feelings justifiable?

Definitely, maybe you would want to expand your vocabulary with regards to the vivid description of your characters, that way, the reader will be able to better understand, and really be drawn to the story as they feel emotionally connected to the characters, both Youngbae and Jiyoung.

[3] Are your character’s adequately developed?

You may consider including flashbacks, as to the background of each character, so that the transition is clear-cut, and the reader understands each protagonist better.

[4] Do you adequately describe your characters?

I would recommend expanding your vocabulary slightly more, and you will definitely have a quality piece of work there!

Grammar and Syntax- Score Attained  8/10

[1] Do you have minimal grammatical errors?

Grammar wise, not a big issue! However, you might want to have it proof-read, as there are several structural issues. Nothing major though.

[2] Are your sentences properly structured and punctuated?

No issues regarding punctuation and structure, good allocation of dialogues and appropriate paragraphing.

Vocabulary usage-  Score Attained:   8  /10

[1] How extensive is your vocabulary?

Like I’ve said, you’ve definitely got the basis, in fact you’re already above average, so a slightly greater push in expanding your vocabulary knowledge, applying that in your plot as character description, especially for feelings, will really be beneficial and advantageous.

Setting and description-   Score Attained:   6 /10

[1] Did you successfully manage to establish the story’s setting? , inclusive of the description aspect

Not much of a change in setting, active description, however, it is not completely incomprehensive, setting wise, maybe a little heavier on the description and change would be good.

and conclusion-       Score Attained   8 /10

Well drafted , conclusion is rather satisfactory, clearly identified the plot, although it was not really much of a thriller, it certainly left a lasting impact, proper closure given.

Overall enjoyment-    Score Attained    9 /10

Overall, your plot is something that garners my interest, to be fairly honest with you, I’m not one to really search for genres relating to this topic, however, I was rather comfortable with the way you portrayed your story, because the ironic nature of your story was the driving force behind my curiosity towards the development of your story. You did great with it! It really changed my perspective towards this genre of stories, do continue to expand your vocabulary and description, a few grammatical errors you might want to point out and evaluate further during a beta or proof reading, other than that, you definitely posses a potential to be a successful writer in the future given your innovation in plot devising. Great Job !

Total Score:   70 /90

Do provide me your insights on what you think about my review.  Being a novice, I would greatly appreciate constructive criticisms and your kind comments as they really spur me on! Thank you so much for choosing The Sleeping Phoenix as your review shop of choice, don’t forget to credit the shop accordingly, I can’t wait to see you soon (: Have a wonderful day ahead! 

Reviewer: Soo Jung (92-pcy)