Author: Summerdust

Story Title: Scar

Story Type: One-shot

Reviewer: CucumberJuice

Review Completion: Mar 16, 2016

Overall Rating: 7/10

Title: [6/10]

The title is, I say, apt enough. For me, though, it was the plot that echoed that title instead of the plot reflecting the title. The only thing problem I have with the title is that it didn't catch my attention. We all know that the title is your first line of offense. 'Scar' is a very common word that holds nothing special, unlike 'Twilight' or 'Divergent'. It would have been better if you would add another word or two.

Foreword/Description [8/10]

A friend of mine told me that you can quote the most significant line in a work for a summary. Your description is just right. It does not give away too much nor does it give away too little. By quoting your work, you give the readers a sample of how you write and it always almost grabs the reader's attention. So, good job on that.

Plot [7/10]

I think the plot's fairly simple. She can't move on and that impedes the door for new lovers. I can't say about original as I've read at least a couple other fics in which the main character can't move on from a past lover. The whole shot is also a bit short to the point where it doesn't feel complete, like there's something missing. About your additional comment, I personally think you should continue it. Maybe two more chapters. It felt like it's a tad cut short, not in the cliffhanger kind.

Characterization [6/10]

I like Jongin here. I like how he's chill and all. The same cannot be said for Krystal, though. Unfortunately, the way she acted throughout the whole shot is a bit annoying, almost pathetic. It's been a year since the break up and I think she should have gotten quite a hold of herself already. She might have been quite well on the road to self-forgiveness or something. Now, I know she had depression before Taemin came but I don't think it was a good idea that she's live her life for Taemin. Unless, that's the concept you're going with. That's the flaw in Krystal's characterization. Love also rarely cure depression. You have to be careful with this.

I suggest, if you ever continue the story, you should make Krystal a little bit stronger as a woman.

Grammar/Syntax [8/10]

I say that your grammar is excellent, not the best but definitely more than good. The only problem I have was your occasional 'i' is not capitalized, but that can be corrected by going through standard spellcheckers. Also, some paragraphs can be omitted. Some paragraphs actually make the shot a bit confusing.

Vocabulary [10/10]

I think your vocabulary is fine. You didn't need a very deep, extensive if the story does not demand it. I say that your vocabulary is perfect for stories like this.

Setting/Description [9/10]

I love how the whole story sounds so dream-like. Although, the atmosphere cuts a bit on some awkward phrases. I also love how you describe the actions, the places in a simple way, not like those other pretentious writing.

/Conclusion [7/10]

I think the came a little too late and ended a little too early. You just gave us a small glimpse on Jongin's character. We're not even sure if he's just flirting or if he has a little crush on Krystal and you shut him already. There could've have been a little more interaction between the two of them.

Enjoyment [6/10]

I enjoyed it, at first. Although, forgive my honesty but it got a little boring in the middle. I probably wouldn't read it again if it stayed a one-shot. I strongly recommend you continue it to give it a little more spice.

Total [67/90]

Hi. I'm a new reviewer in this shop. I'm sorry if it seemed a little short and harsh. Thank you so much for choosing our shop. Have a nice day!